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Response card help

So we've decided to go the nontraditional route with our response cards... instead of having the "M____________" and have people fill in their names, to avoid them adding people that aren't invited, we are going to list the individual guests names on the response card. 

So my question is, how do I address the Misses?

Would it be:

Mr. John Smith      __ accepts    __declines
Mrs. John Smith    __accepts    __declines

or

Mr. John Smith    __ accepts    __declines
Mrs. Jane Smith  __ accepts   __declines

or

John Smith   __ accepts  __declines
Jane Smith  __accepts   __declines


I know formally, she is Mrs. John Smith, but is it rude to call her Mrs. Jane Smith? I feel very informal calling them just "John Smith" and "Jane Smith" without the mr. and mrs. 

Lastly, what if the Mr. is a doctor?

Dr. John Smith   __accepts  __declines
Mrs. John Smith?? __accepts  __Declines


I've asked this on here before, but didn't get much of an answer, so I apologize if  you've seen this boring rant before! :)

Thanks in advance!


Re: Response card help

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    I agree with love.
     
    Also, I'm not positive on this, but I'd think something to addressing invitation envelopes, the female should be listed first.
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    GeauxTigers17GeauxTigers17 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2011
    This is a minefield. I never realized how offended married women can get by the use of "Mrs. John Smith" until I came on theknot, but then my grandmother gets upset when people call her "Mrs. Jane Smith" because to her, only divorced women go by that (she's a widow and still uses Mrs. John Smith). I realize that's not the case nowadays, but for older people, that connotation can be pretty strong.

    I'd drop the title altogether on the response card just to avoid this. 
    image
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    I wish I could help but I am having the same problem :( 
    What about teenagers? Are you putting their first and last name? Or just first name?
    for example
    Kelly Smith
    or
    Kelly 
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    love, I completely agree with you! I would feel the same way if I was addressed without my name. I have a name for a reason! Just because I'm married doesn't mean my identity is lossed! hah

    Maybe i'll do it the tradition formal way for the elderly so they're not offended, and address "Mrs.Jane Smith" to the younger crowd. I'm afraid that if I drop the titles all together that i'll STILL offend the older crowd.

    I think with teenagers, I'll do "Miss Kelly Smith"? I hadn't really thought about that until now!
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    We used "Miss" for any female under 18, and Ms. for single above.

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