responses

trinhcda · December 2010

thank you!

Loopyseven · December 2010

I am unable to vote until you define small.

squirrly · December 2010

Do you socialize with any of them outside the office or company events? If so, I think it's fine to invite that group and not the others. But I wouldn't invite anyone you don't socialize with anyway - your wedding is a social event, after all.

ootmother2 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-coworkers-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:430dcb44-3d90-4f3c-b133-150341aca8c6Post:dbd2dc86-df3b-47ba-af9a-7e46d3307ce7">inviting coworkers</a>:
[QUOTE]i work at a small office. i get along with half of the employees and want to invite them to the wedding. If i don't invite the other half im afraid of hurting feelings and awkwardness when i return. What are your feelings on my situation. Should I just suck it up, or is it truly my day and I should do what I want?
Posted by trinhcda[/QUOTE]

I'd ditch that phrase "truly my day and I should do what I want" very quickly!

mica178 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-coworkers-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:430dcb44-3d90-4f3c-b133-150341aca8c6Post:5e0744e8-1dd0-454b-aa6a-57063ca6a7e6">Re: inviting coworkers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to inviting coworkers : I'd ditch that phrase "truly my day and I should do what I want" very quickly!
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup.</div>

ckonidak · December 2010

squirrly said it best. If you socialize with them outside of work, then I think it's fine to invite them. If not, that would probably be difficult to justify to any other co-workers that get hurt feelings.

leah2b · December 2010

You need to invite all or none in my opinion. THe Last thing you need is to create hurt feelings in your workplace, which is what you will do if you invite only those you "like." this is not highschool anymore.

You can do whatever you want if you feel it is Your day - just remember - it is also your career.

Loopyseven · December 2010

Then I would suck it up and invite all of them. Inviting 2 out of the remaining 3 (assuming you're one of the 4) is kind of... I don't know the word I'm looking for.. If you're truly not that close, maybe they won't come, but it has the ability to become very awkward at work when it's THAT small.

Summer2011Bride · December 2010

Originally read your post, I was going to say only invite those you hang out with socially. But when you told us it's only FOUR people, I kind of changed my opinion. That IS really small. I think when it's that tiny, it's an all-or-nothing kind of deal unfortunately. Even if you had 10 people, I would have said you'd probably be fine with inviting only those you are close to. But singling out one or two and not the other one or two would be awkward for sure.

leah2b · December 2010

If its a matter of two people, be the bigger person for the sake or your career and doing the right thing. Who knows? Perhaps they will decline and problem solved. I just think you are setting yourself up for a problem if you only invite half.

I had this problem at my office on a larger scale. I love the people I work with and am especially close to probably about half of them. Problem is, that is 30 people and with dates 60 - just for half the office. I had to make the decision to invite some, all or none. In the end, I decided it had to be all or none because I really did not want to hurt any feelings at work or burn any bridges. I chose none because I could not afford 120 more people. I explained to my work that we were having a small wedding with just family and very close friends (which we did).

After my wedding a co-worker had her daughter's wedding. Mind you she has worked at our job for over 20 years, and though I have been there for only 5, I consider her a very friendly co-worker. I was a little hurt when I was not invited to her daughter's wedding and others were. She invited her oldest friends from the job, so I kind of understood. It would have been too much to invite us all, but it was still awkward any time she talked about she daughters wedding in the presence of the rest of us who were not invited.

Beccalgray · December 2010

I would probably say to just invite them all, if you're really not close, more than likely they won't care to come anyways and will make an excuse. If they do end up coming, unless you have an extremely small wedding, having 2 people you don't love won't ruin your wedding night. There will be a lot more important stuff on your mind then people being there that you don't care for.

Another option (I know some will find tacky) that I've seen people do, just take one invitation for the entire office. If they care to come, they will. If they don't want to, they won't feel quite as obligated to go if the invitation isn't personally addressed to them specifically.

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