Seeing each other before ceremony

jlbaxter33 · February 2010

My Mom is adamently against this, but I think it might be nice to see each other before the ceremony. Not only could we take pictures and enjoy the cocktail hour, but I think it would calm some nerves and be a nice private moment. My Mom thinks it is bad luck and crazy.

What do you girls think? Future brides-- do you plan on seeing each other before the ceremony? Married ladies-- did you see each other? If so, do you regret it? If not, do you wish you had?

Thank you!

Er&JerLem · February 2010

I know there were quite a few ladies on here who did this, and I never heard of anyone regretting it.

I didn't do it. I wanted that moment walking down the aisle. But, looking back - it may have helped calm some nerves.

I think either way it will be a special moment between the two of you. Would you try to have your photog capture it?

KimWard · February 2010

We didn't see each other pre-ceremony, and I don't regret it. I'm pretty traditional though, and I wasn't nervous before the ceremony- just excited. We did hold hands through the door though, and I got a cute pic out of it!

It's obviously a personal choice, so think about it and do what you and FI feel most comfortable with. It is your wedding after all, not your mom's.

duqcheer04 · February 2010

DF and I talked about this and he really wants the first time seeing me as I walk down the aisle. We will have plenty of time for photos after the ceremony, before the reception.

I can understand wanting to have a private meeting between the two of you. I would definitely try to have the photographer capture the moment.

In the end, it is your day. Do what ever makes YOU (and your FI) comfortable and happy.

jrsygrl10 · February 2010

DH & i saw each other before the ceremony. my mom didn't like the idea at all, but when i explained that the photog would be there to capture the moment she seemed to warm up to the idea. in fact, my parents were standing in the background and able to catch that first moment with us (i walked out of an elevator to see DH for the first time, in some of the pictures you can see my mom in the background wiping her eyes and you can see my sisters next to her beaming). it worked best for us bc our ceremony was at 5pm in the winter, so there would not be any daylight after the ceremony. we also only had 1-1.5 hrs between the ceremony & reception, which was not very long for all of the pictures (the formals alone took a half hour to do, and we didnt have that much family).

but more than that, what i didn't realize before i pushed the button to wait for the elevator to take me down to the lobby to see DH was how incredibly nervous i would be. when i stepped in to the elevator i spent the 26 flight ride down forcing back tears and anxiety. i was excited, nervous, scared, happy and elated all at the same time. it was so overwhelming, and i had not expected to feel that way at all. so i was grateful to have that moment with DH and be able to hug him for comfort while i regained my composure, where i would not have been able to do so standing at the end of the aisle with him. we took pictures for 2 hrs before the ceremony with the WP, then he & i did some pictures of just us while the WP joined the cocktail party.

it was a wonderful decision for us that i am so happy that we made. but i realize that it is not the best decision for everyone, and totally respect that. it's a personal moment that i feel is best left up to the couple to decide how they would like to handle it.

good luck!!

Nunu&Eddie · February 2010

We did not see each other. We both really wanted that moment to be when I walked down the aisle. And it was fantastic!

IMO, you don't need 1,000 shots of you with your husband in a park or whatever. We were able to capture a unmber of shots of us after the ceremony and during the reception. It wasn't worth it for me to trade off the walk down the aisle as the first look.

That being said, there are some beautiful shots out there of B&G's first looks.

kwynn · February 2010

We did see each other, and I highly recommend it. I know some people are more traditional, however.

I chose to have us see each other first because we also got married at 5:00 in the winter. The sun was setting during the ceremony, and we wanted to get a few shots on the field, in the locker room, and at the CMU columns.

Also, my ceremony and reception were in one place, so we couldn't really leave for photos and then come back. Ultimately, it was just easier on us to see each other first.

And we sort of did a "first look" thing, although he saw me as I was getting my hair and makeup done.

I don't feel like coming up the aisle was any less special to me because of it; it was still the first and only time he would see me walking down the aisle. And it was the first time everyone else, like all your relatives, is getting to see your dress, etc.

We also were waiting behind closed doors together before the ceremony and I really felt like we were coming into this together. That's corny, I know.

colleenmclaughlin1 · February 2010

We saw each other before. We did a first look photo, a couple of formals together and then I did formals with my girls. Then the firsl and I hightailed it to the back of the church to wait for almost an hour. The walk down the aisle was still special for me, and I think it helped DH that he had already seen me. We're just like that.

gmc22 · February 2010

Good post! I had the same question on my mind.

My mom is REALLY against it (for the same reasons you mentioned) but our ceremony is at 4pm ending at around 5pm and cocktails from 5:30-6:30 which doesnt give a ton of time for pics and things... I'm not sure how I feel about it quite yet... But I do agree that it should be a personal decision betweent the bride and groom. Although my parents (and FI's parents) opinions mean alot to us... I guess we'll see!

Pirata13 · February 2010

We are both in hearty agreement that we do NOT want to see each other before the ceremony. Like Kim, I'm pretty traditional though. And FI knows I want to keep pictures to a minimum and not be traipsing around Pittsburgh taking them.

marburs · February 2010

I think you should just do what you and your FI feel is right for you two. Everyone is going to have different opinions. Theres pros and cons to be situations. So don't listen to your Mom and do what you feel is the best thing for you guys

king26 · February 2010

I agree-do what you want to do. I am also pretty tradition and FI and I will not be seeing each other before the ceremony. However, my cousin and her now DH saw each other before and had some amazing pictures. It's all in what you want to do and how you feel about it.

reannalynne · February 2010

We did not see each other, and I really wish that we had. I saw him that morning when i woke up, but when i left that was it until the ceremony. I was very nervous and i think seeing him would have really helped.

brivb10 · February 2010

We did not see each other beforehand. When we left the RD we kissed goodnight, and the next time we saw each other was in the Church. It was very special for me to see his face, and now see the video/photos of his face. He is just beaming!!! If my photos weren't copyright protected thingamiajig I would post. I do NOT regret it at all. We didn;t even talk on the phone that day. We did lots of photos independently beforehand, and were actually ahead of schedule in reaching cocktail hour. We were married at 2pm in a full Catholic mass in the winter. Our cocktail hour began at 430. Just my opinion - it's such a beautiful moment, and really adds to the awe of everyone!

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