Pre-wedding Parties

BM's driving me shower-crazy (long)

So my BM's have decided to host a shower for me, which is really nice considering I told them I didn't need/want one.  NOW, they can't manage to agree on anything, have decided they won't include me in planning, but a few continue to complain to me that they "think" it will be expensive. (No details set, no $ discussed thusfar).  One MOH insists that a group gift should be purchased for me and won't come without a present, and the other MOH thinks her contributing to the shower is the gift she is giving. 

I am FED up with the nonsense coming from all of them and have no clue how to approach the situation, I didn't even want the shower in the first place, but I do think it's nice of them to want to host one.  I don't know what to say to the people that won't stop complaining about $$.  And I'm trying to be sensitive to everyone (hence the thanks but no thanks shower request.....)

Anyone deal with anything similar/have any ideas for how to approach this other than ignore it all? - Thanks!!
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Re: BM's driving me shower-crazy (long)

  • lizstill13lizstill13 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There's not much you can do but ignore it all. If they come to you again just tell them that you are not involved in planning and they really need to talk to so-and-so. You already told them you didn't want a shower and they insist on throwing you one, so they already defied your wishes, I don't know why they'd start listening to you now. I assume they are all grown women who can handle themselves and you just need to not get in the middle.

    The other option would be to repeat your request for not having a shower and say you just don't want them arguing anymore about it.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When they come directly to you, say "I'm not involved with the planning at all, so you will have to discuss this with the other hostesses, but if it's too much trouble, a shower really isn't necessary at all."  Just keep repeating.
    Married 10/2/10
  • eslteacher28eslteacher28 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am in the EXACT same situation! I said a shower wasnt necessary but a friend insisted she wanted to throw me one. It has been a nightmare! It has been such a stressor and really ticks me off!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bms-driving-shower-crazy-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:491f231a-e63b-474a-9b0b-fee8e0ac71f2Post:0293847d-a5d2-4d04-9f4a-5c7be17b88c6">Re: BM's driving me shower-crazy (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am in the EXACT same situation! I said a shower wasnt necessary but a friend insisted she wanted to throw me one. It has been a nightmare! It has been such a stressor and really ticks me off!
    Posted by eslteacher28[/QUOTE]

    Ok here's my new tactic... I said I would only agree to the shower if they have beer pong.  (FI's idea, not mine :-) )  So far they LOVE it, are all now happy to plan something "casual" incorporating beer pong, and appear to be leaving me alone.  Maybe they just think I'm crazy. 

    They are having a get together to discuss it next weekend, so we'll see how it goes, fingers crossed!
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  • edited December 2011
    LMAO!!!!!  I love it!!!!!!
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