A C&P from ML:
My friend is going through a really hard time.
She has a 13 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old. She and her husband have been together for like 15 years. While she was pregnant with the 13 year old, her husband (bf at the time) went out, got drunk and had a one night stand. Well, that lady got pregnant, so he has two sons almost exactly the same age. The other son lives out of state. He's been paying child support this whole time, but other than that, they've kind of acted like this kid doesn't exist.
Recently he and his other son developed a relationship and the whole family has gotten to know him as well. He came here for Thanksgiving and now there is talk of him spending the summer here. When he fights with his mom, he threatens to come live with his dad. She has another daughter from another man who also went to live with her dad at the same age and the mother said that if he wants to, he can.
My friend is a wreck over this. She only recently told her parents about this boy. She, of course, has alot of resentment towards her husband. She feels like she has to go along with whatever because she doesn't want to stop him from having a relationship with his son. It's just a really crappy situation for her. She's hopefully going to start counseling soon. Her already rocky relationship with her parents is kind of ruined over this. She doesn't really have anyone to talk to who is not related to her husband. I just don't know what to say to her that would be productive.
Who could have EVER predicted that a concurrent second family might cause resentment and trouble down the road if you stay with the guy? I for one am absolutely shocked.