Wedding Etiquette Forum

Help me Help Us

My husband-to-be and I  are both considered to be the black sheeps in our families. On my side alone my mothers side does not get along with my fathers side. How do you planning a wedding where family are the last people we want their ruining our day and how do we elope without hurting feelings?

Re: Help me Help Us

  • How do your parents handle their respective sides of the family when it comes to them not getting along?  Are we talking they just don't like each other, or are we talking potential throwdown right next to the wedding cake?

    Give us a bit more information and we can help you more.  What is your vision for your and FI's wedding?  What is your budget?  Are you paying for it or are the parents helping out?  Money can come with some ugly strings sometimes.

    If you are dealing with ANYONE saying "I won't attend your wedding if suckyface relative is invited", you call their bluff and let them know you would like for them to attend but if they can't grow up and support you for a few hours on your wedding day, they will be missed."  
    Do you have some specific concerns?



  • You can't control how other people are going to feel about you eloping. If you decide that eloping is the best option for you, go right ahead and do it and don't let anyone try to make you feel like it was the wrong decision. There are lots of knotties on here that had beautiful elopements.  www.intimateweddings.com is a great site full of examples of really small weddings and private elopements.
  • It might be easier for you to just elope and have a nice day and shrug off any hurt feelings, rather than dealing with the drama of how different family members are acting.

    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-me-help-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c27cb873-2985-499e-934f-adbf082cf35ePost:b3603b7c-3219-4777-b2fc-16b00d96f9f3">Re: Help me Help Us</a>:
    [QUOTE]It might be easier for you to just elope and have a nice day and shrug off any hurt feelings, rather than dealing with the drama of how different family members are acting.
    Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]
    This. <div>My Mom alone acted so petty and childish on my wedding day that I wished I would have eloped. Then there was her family.</div><div>
    </div><div>What does your gut say?</div>
    image
  • jmp2004jmp2004 member
    100 Comments
    Go to Vegas.  You can still plan a beautiful wedding, with or without guests.  And come join us on the Vegas board, it's really fantastic!
  • Yeah, I went off on the wrong road with my original reply so let me try this again.  Just a heads up, I'm a MOB.

    When you say you guys are both the black sheep of your families does that mean the relationship with parents and/or sibs is pretty rocky or non-existent?

    Are you choosing elopement  because there will be no support from your families or will they want to have some shindig where all the enemies show up?

    If you guys are close with your parents I would advise you to tell them before you elope. If the relationships are toxic that could be a different story.

    You are worried about hurting feelings but I don't know whose feelings you are worried about.  I'm really close with all my girls so if they eloped and told me afterward I would be crushed.  (parents are allowed to have feelings about this too).  I was raised by an aunt and uncle - aunt wouldn't have cared less if I eloped and waited 6 months to tell her.

    More details?
  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-me-help-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c27cb873-2985-499e-934f-adbf082cf35ePost:05e6cb3c-de01-44ff-a8a8-570a79b0352f">Re: Help me Help Us</a>:
    [QUOTE]Go to Vegas.  You can still plan a beautiful wedding, with or without guests.  And come join us on the Vegas board, it's really fantastic!
    Posted by jmp2004[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agree, Vegas is a great place to have a wedding. You can plan a wedding from simple to elaborate.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-me-help-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c27cb873-2985-499e-934f-adbf082cf35ePost:66b735ac-336b-4723-a754-01f39fb6b622">Re: Help me Help Us</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help me Help Us : This.  <strong>My Mom alone acted so petty and childish on my wedding day that I wished I would have eloped. Then there was her family. </strong>What does your gut say?
    Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

    Not intending to thread-jack, but Crash I'm sorry!! What happened?
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