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Wedding Etiquette Forum

STD's, invites and RSVP

I know there was a post about this, but it didn't fit my situation. My wedding is over a year away, but I was reading that you send STD about six months before, invites about a month and a half before, and have the rsvp date a week or so before head count is due. Well, my fiancee, who decided to be in charge of catering said that they'd want the head count at least a month before (I can't actually remember how much in advance he had said). Also, I have a lot of OOT guests and we were going to announce the engagement with STD...Seeing that I'm engaged, I was going to send out STD this summer, 10 or so months before the wedding and then send out invites 6 to 4 months before the wedding.

My questions are how long should I give between sending out invites for guest to RSVP? And when should I send them if this isn't it, and why not?
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Re: STD's, invites and RSVP

  • If you sent out invites 4-6 MONTHS before your actual wedding, you're going to end up having to call a LOT of people--such a long time period gives plenty of opportunity for invites to get misplaced or for people to just forget to respond.  Having your RSVP deadline 6 weeks before your wedding (which I assume you would if you need a final headcount a month before) makes it very difficult for your guests to plan.  That's what a save the date is for, and THAT should go 
    out 6-8 months ahead of time.
  • Are you sure your caterer doesn't need just an estimated head count at a month out?  That is ridiculously far out to need an exact head count.  Ours needed an estimated one about 2-3 weeks out once we were getting response cards in, but didn't require our official count that we were charged for until about 2 days before the wedding. 

    Double check with the caterer on the dates and deadlines.  Personally I would pick a different caterer before I asked my guests to respond 4-6 months before the wedding.
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  • I would double check this date with your caterer. I have never heard of a caterer needing your final head count a MONTH before the wedding. Why would that even be necessary? That's not realistic. So double check on that.

    I would definitely not send invitations out 4-6 month prior. Most people will end up forgetting about it and you'll have to call a lot of people. Plus it's very difficult to plan what you'll be doing 6 months out from a date.


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  • Yeah, totally check on the date with your caterer. Our final head count is due three days before the event, with an estimate due one week prior. (estimate of 70-90 guests given at time of booking.) Yours seems a bit odd.
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  • raes19raes19 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited April 2012

    We needed to give our caterer an estimated head count a month before the wedding, so they could schedule staff accordingly. We didn't have to give them the exact number with meal choices until a week before the wedding. I would definitely call your caterer and see what numbers are due when, maybe your FI misunderstood what they meant. Sending out invitations 6 months before the wedding will just cause a big headache. 

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