NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?

achiduck · July 2012

Backstory: About 2 months ago a young girl (~13) was hit by a dumptruck and has been in the hospital ever since in a medically induced coma so her brain and body can heal. She will need years and years of therapy and will basically have to relearn how to live.

I just got a FB invitation to a fundraising event for this girl that I have no connection to, have never met and only now know of her existence due to the accident. I was in a car accident a few years ago and required some pretty extensive physio but had over 90% of it covered by my car insurance and work benefits, but I saw the bills so I can empathize with the costs. As Canadians, we're lucky to have a decent healthcare system and a lot of our medical costs are covered by OHIP and *most* employee benefits cover semi-private hospital rooms, ICU and critically illness (mind you, there is a cap and after 8 weeks I'm sure they've reached it).

Along with the fundraising party, the family has gotten Dairy Queen involved and on a specific day you can donate $2 to her medical expenses. If I end up at DQ that day I have no qualms about coughing up $2 but I'm not going to go out of my way to go get ice cream just because of her cause and I don't really care to go to a fundraising party for someone I have abosulutely no connection to.

What say you? How do you feel about these types of events?

AbbeyS2011 · July 2012

<strong>In</strong> Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-how-do-you-feel-about-medical-fundraisers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e110e592-5942-4ea9-b0d8-4a6a79139344Post:93505549-d1ae-421f-81f0-e7d0c378335f">Re: NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>As someone with no connection to her personally, I would be irritated at the invitation. If it's a friend, family member, or even a friend's family? I'm always happy to buy a ticket to a beef and beer or throw in for a raffle.</strong> I also love doing baskets of cheer so I'll volunteer to donate those. I have no logical explanation, though. I guess for me if it's a kid who got hit by a car or a mom with cancer, I want to give a little bit of help for someone who got kicked in the teeth by fate. I did decline to do anything when a friend held a benefit for her uncle who crashed his quad and suffered some serious injuries, including brain damage. He shouldn't have been riding a fucking quad without a helmet, and too bad so sad that it had a predictable outcome.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

I agree.

achiduck · July 2012

I think if it was someone I know (even just a little bit) I might feel differently about it. It just seems lately I'm constantly being hit up for money for charity and I'm starting to reach my limit.

lyndausvi · July 2012

If I don't have any connection to the person then I just ignore the invite. Overall it doesn't bother me when I get one. There are way more other things I get annoyed at on FB.

I don't feel bad not attending or contributing, either.

AbbeyS2011 · July 2012

Perfectly understandable. (all the charities wanting help)

MilkDuds - I hear you about the insurance. H and I have coverage through my job, but some friends of ours have their own small business, and no health insurance. Recently, the husband fell and hit his head, and ended up with a blood clot on the right side of his brain. When the hospital found out they have no insurance, they did not want to touch him at all. His wife showed me the bill the other day - made me sick.

MrsGandthebeag · July 2012

I wouldn't go if I didn't have a connection to the person.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

This is the small town girl in me, but these types of events don't bother me too much - these are happening all the damn time here. Back home they would post flyers all over town for the spaghetti feed for Billy Jo at the local skating rink and a crap ton of people would definitely show up and give donations, even if they didn't know the guy. In rural-ish areas like that, if you don't know someone, you probably could know them through someone you are acquainted with. And everyone here just wants to help their neighbors no matter what.

With that said, I did get a FB invitation for an online fundraiser - it was for the son of a girl I went to HS with, who was born with cerebral palsy. His bills are balls, I am sure, but I was a little put off to be invited to buy stuff like candles and pizza dough and stuff.

I dunno. This probably doesn't help.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

I'm ok with them. I probably wouldn't attend if I didn't personally know the person but I wouldn't be annoyed at an invitation, and I have donated gift baskets for these kinds of events before. I haven't been bombarded with these invitations though, so maybe I would start to get irritated if I got them all the time.

achiduck · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-how-do-you-feel-about-medical-fundraisers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e110e592-5942-4ea9-b0d8-4a6a79139344Post:2ff02b2e-b365-4064-9ec1-af8a9c951327">Re: NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm ok with them. I probably wouldn't attend if I didn't personally know the person but I wouldn't be annoyed at an invitation, and I have donated gift baskets for these kinds of events before.<strong> I haven't been bombarded with these invitations though, so maybe I would start to get irritated if I got them all the time.
</strong>Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

And that's fair. I've gotten about 5 of them in the last 6 months plus it seems every time I go to the grocery store (or today Staples) I'm being asked to add between $2-10 to my bill for some charity. I'm just tired of constatnly being bombarded for money and I feel bad saying no.

pkontk · July 2012

I wouldn't mind ONE invitation, but several, plus bombardments in other public places are too much for me. I might do the Dairy Queen thing. There is an ice cream place near me that partners with a non-profit and gives X% of its proceeds on certain days to that charity, so I would do that as well.

If I knew the family I would be much more likely to participate, or help with raffle items, or cook, or something like that.

I've seen people putting their medical issues on crowdfunding web sites, and this kind of reminds me of that. Everything from "my daughter has cancer and we are over our head with bills" to "Help me pay for eye surgery for my dog."

RebeccaB88 · July 2012

I will be more than happy to help others with their medical bills, if someone comes and helps me with mine first. As long as I'm on my own to pay mine, everyone else is too.

Lizzieyounce · July 2012

I contribute where I can. I have a former classmate who was just diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer and he's the breadwinner for the family... and my daughters friend's uncle lost a leg from diabetes and the bills (after insurance) are high. I'm donating to both. I consider it payback for the wonderful charity that I was blessed with when my youngest was born premature. Her bill, after insurance, just the hospital bill mind you, was 350k.

I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to cover the whole thing. People had fund raisers for me, so did my church and the hospital waived the rest. Christmas dinner (turkey and all of the fixins) and gifts were also covered for my eldest by the PTO of her school that year since I couldn't afford them. THAT was a shock to me because I have no clue how they knew that I was in such dire straights, and I still get teary eyed when I think of the generosity that was shown to me. I give to that fund every year now... crap, I'm crying now just thinking about this.

On a daily basis, if there's a drive asking for change, I'll toss my change in jar. If it's a kid, I'll toss more in. Every little bit helps, I know it helped me.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-how-do-you-feel-about-medical-fundraisers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e110e592-5942-4ea9-b0d8-4a6a79139344Post:47c9f84e-d4b1-43be-abf3-8c575f695865">Re: NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?</a>:
[QUOTE]I contribute where I can. I have a former classmate who was just diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer and he's the breadwinner for the family... and my daughters friend's uncle lost a leg from diabetes and the bills (after insurance) are high. I'm donating to both. I consider it payback for the wonderful charity that I was blessed with when my youngest was born premature. Her bill, after insurance , just the hospital bill mind you, was 350k. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to cover the whole thing. People had fund raisers for me, so did my church and the hospital waived the rest. Christmas dinner (turkey and all of the fixins) and gifts were also covered for my eldest by the PTO of her school that year since I couldn't afford them. THAT was a shock to me because I have no clue how they knew that I was in such dire straights, and I still get teary eyed when I think of the generosity that was shown to me. I give to that fund every year now... crap, I'm crying now just thinking about this. On a daily basis, if there's a drive asking for change, I'll toss my change in jar. If it's a kid, I'll toss more in. Every little bit helps, I know it helped me.
Posted by Lizzieyounce[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Oh wow. That's crazy, I can't imagine going through that and then recieving that bill. If it's a DQ you frequent, I'd swing by that day rather than the next time you were planning to. </div>

NOLAbridealmost · July 2012

I strongly support medical fundraisers and never get upset hearing about one. I also don't feel obligated to give. But I work in personal injury and have been there while close friends/family had terminal/chronic illnesses and I know how f******g ridiculous medical bills can be even when someone has insurance. I think the idea behind telling any and everyone about the fundraiser makes sense; you never know what total stranger who hears about it might be touched by their own friend or family member's struggle with something similar and want to help out.

NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?

Re: NWR How do you feel about medical fundraisers?

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