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adult only reception....need opinions!!

jeng507jeng507 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Ohio-Cleveland
So my fiance and I have decided to have an adult only reception, but we are still having 2 ring bearers and 3 flower girls (youngest is 4). I would like to put "intimate adult only" on the reception card, inviting only the kids that are in the wedding party to the reception....problem is, 2 of the flower girls are my fiance's cousins and he has another cousin (not from the same family as the flower girls) who is only going to be 1 year old by the time of the wedding.  I think that an intimate, elegant wedding reception is no place for a 1 year old, and I do not think she should be invited to the reception....however, my fiance feels that she is family and it would be rude and disrespectful to leave her out.  I really do not know what to do, because I do not want to piss anyone off, but I really do not want an infant/toddler and highchairs and/or strollers at my wedding reception!! I need opinions on if you think it is offensive to politely ask that the 1 year stay at home for the reception. PLEASE HELP!!! :)
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Re: adult only reception....need opinions!!

  • onthego11onthego11
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're limiting the kids to the ones in the wedding, and those families who are traveling from out of town. At Christmas, I talked to two of my cousins and asked them if they'd be able to find a sitter for their kids, as we really want them to be there, but are limiting the number of kids that will be there. Both of them seemed really receptive and understood.

    Good Luck!!!
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  • Lauren1102Lauren1102 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I pretty much I have the same problem! I don't want any kds at my wedding reception, but he feels that all his nieces and nephews should be invited, putting the youngest at being one and half, since his sister is pregnent now! He has like 10 nieces and nephews and not sure what to do with that!


    Good luck!
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  • jeng507jeng507 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    yea I am going to talk to my FI about it but i think I'm going to address the envelope to the adults and put "adult only" on the reception card and see what happens....if they ask about the cousin who is 1, then I guess I will just tell them that she can come if they want, but was hoping they would come and have a good time as adults without having to worry about kids.

    Thanks for the input girls! You guys were a lot more receptive to my issue on this board than on the etiquette board! Man those girls tore me apart!! :(  Good luck to you guys too!
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  • Lauren1102Lauren1102 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What did the etiquette board tell you to do? Maybe we just don't have etiquette here! LOL :)

    Hope it works out in your favor and they feel liek a reception is no place for a one year old!
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  • starshine985starshine985 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had an adult only reception - inviting only those cousins age 18+.  Did I leave out some of the cousins, yes -- but I had to have a cut-off somewhere and that seemed like an appropriate age.  My DH, however, does have 7 nieces/nephews.  I strongly did not want them in attendance because the age range at the time was 4-15.  However, after many arguments, we decided to allow just his nieces/nephews to come as the only children.  Luckily, they weren't an issue.  I've also seen children come for dinner and then leave with a sitter shortly after - that could be an option for you as well.  I would hold firm when it comes to cousins, but perhaps give him some slack in regards to nieces/nephews.  Their parents can decide whether or not they'd like to bring the kids (many adults enjoy their "time off"!!). 

    In order to make this possible, putting "adult only" wasn't necessary at all.  On the response card, we simply put: "We have reserved ____ seats in your honor" and then filled the blank with a number for each person.  So, if you only want Uncle John and Aunt Sally to come without their kids, just put a "2" on the line.  Using that method, along with addressing the invite JUST to the adults, most people understand what you're getting at.  I didn't have anyone call about their children and/or try to add an extra seat.

    Good luck!!  :)
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  • butterflyroy78butterflyroy78
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having an adult only reception, my son being the only child in attendance. My sister and sister in law were both VERY happy to have a night out without the kids! You may find that to be tru for the cousins! I do worry though because my fsil may not be as receptive as she is from NY and will not have a sitter. I do have a few people to recomend though!
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  • HarvestKarmaHarvestKarma member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO it's rude to specify "adults only".  The proper way to not include children is to just not have their names on the invitation.  I see your problem about having the two as flower girls and then not inviting the other.  IMO it's all or none, but it's your wedding.  We're inviting several children at ours and are really excited about it.  Having said that, their parents are more than welcome to get a sitter that night should they want an adult night out themselves. 
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