this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Very small brunch

ndearmondndearmond
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Our wedding is very small, although it could have easily been very large.  For brunch the morning after, we planned a buffet that would be palatable to all of our guests. 

We were originally a part of 20, but 5 of our guests can not attend.  We basically invited two generations above and below us.  The Chef who would be preparing the buffet told me that we would not be able to have the buffet at less than 16 people because of food waste.  We are willing to pay for 16, but he has gotten a little stuffy with us about it. 

The food is perfect and we will have a somewhat quiet space to spend time together.  We are considering inviting a handful of friends to keep the total closer to 20 and to bring them into the celebration.  I know these folks well enough to know that there is little chance of them being offended about not being invited to the wedding.  I also think they will be excited to get to join us for brunch.

I know very little about weddings and would have never thought that planning brunch would be sucha  challenge.  Please share your thoughts.

Warm regards,
Nico
Report Reply to Post

Re: Very small brunch

  • dumdumfroggiedumdumfroggie
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If you're going to invite them to the lunch, I would also extend an invitation for the ceremony as well.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Does it have to be a buffet? If food waste is the concern, surely a small menu from which your guests could choose a dish would mitigate any of those issues. Have you spoken to the chef? Is that an option?

    Or you could just not have a day-after brunch; it's by no means required.

    I do not think you should invite non-wedding guests to any wedding-related event. Everyone will be talking about the wedding the night before, and as a brunch guest who didn't get to attend the wedding, I'd be very sad. It's easy to think people would just be excited for the brunch, but I think you're not considering how hurtful this could be.
    Lizzie
    Report Reply
  • LDYGTR13LDYGTR13 member
    2500 Comments
    Is there any chance you can include these friends in the wedding? While your friends might not openly mind that they're only invited to the brunch, it's not proper etiquette and generally frowned upon. Would 5 more people to the wedding be out of the question? 
    Blog: Hold the Fries...My journey away from the Deep Fryer Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! image
    Report Reply
  • ndearmondndearmond
    10 Comments
    We had to choose our wedding guests very carefully.  We have so much family and a few have heard through the grapevine about the wedding and they are very hurt.  If they see that people who are not close to the family are at the ceremony, they will be quite upset. 

    Every guest is coming from at least 10 hours away, so brunch is important and my mother is technically the host.  Having food that would please her is important and most of our guests like very simple food.  When it comes to brunch, nearby restaurants tend to get a little too creative for their tastes. 

    The chef said that we would be required to order off of the menu, but the menu does not include breakfast food and the lunch items are not very familiar foods.  His buffet simply happens to fit what we need, he has space for us, and it is not too noisy.  We chose carefully, but recently found out about the 16 people rule and then we dropped to 15.

    I will heed your advice.  One guest list is set, so I suppose the other one is, too. Now to find a new brunch destination. If only my own food allergies allowed me to eat out and time existed for me to go to the restaurants!
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Could you just arrange with your current brunch location to take any remaining food home?  That way he doesn't feel that any of it will go to waste at his restaurant.
    Report Reply
  • ndearmondndearmond
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-small-brunch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c403c5c5-e54b-4303-a620-4d0f5236ae55Post:e4bd436b-c5a9-4655-a2e1-42aa61bf2168">Re: Very small brunch</a>:
    [QUOTE]Could you just arrange with your current brunch location to take any remaining food home?  That way he doesn't feel that any of it will go to waste at his restaurant.
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    Before I cancel with him, I will offer to pay for 16 plus gratuity and work with him on suggestions for excess food.  He has a huge staff and I will have a hungry husband by then.
    Report Reply
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Any properly trained professional chef should be able to prepare the appropriate amount of food for any number of guests, while minimizing waste. 

    I would offer to pay for the minimum number, and request to take leftovers home.  Tell him you will sign a release of liablity if he's concerned about it. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards