Question for my NY Brides

rachael7183 · June 2012

Do you give money or do you give gifts, and also do you try to "cover your plate" at weddings...

Cinderella30 · June 2012

I give money over gifts. I had actually never heard of "covering your plate" until I moved to NY. I think you give what you can afford. The bride and groom should never expect their guests to give enough cash to "cover their plates". I still think this concept is rude.

rachael7183 · June 2012

Cinderella - - do you think this is just a NY thing then?

TexasWriterBride2012 · June 2012

I am from Texas and I've been to weddings in many states, and never heard of Cover Your Plate.

Cinderella30 · June 2012

I thought it was a NY/NJ thing but I also have friends from Chicago and LA who seem to think the same way. Not sure what it is.

JadziaDax · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-new-york-city_question-for-my-ny-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:114Discussion:675f985b-8181-4566-b938-a979aab5db9dPost:96e4cb6b-69a3-43ad-af7d-eaeaf42c9d32">Question for my NY Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you give money or do you give gifts, and also do you try to "cover your plate" at weddings...
Posted by rachael7183[/QUOTE]

<div>I always give enough cash to cover my plate- I think it is a NY thing. </div>

CAEid · June 2012

Money all the time, if they're a coworker or friend - usually $200 pp ($400 for me and DH) / if they're very close friends or family - we usually give $300 pp ($500 - $600 for me and DH.)

rachael7183 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-new-york-city_question-for-my-ny-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:114Discussion:675f985b-8181-4566-b938-a979aab5db9dPost:5ea47f48-1ba5-46d8-aad6-39dcde1fb3f8">Re: Question for my NY Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]Money all the time, if they're a coworker or friend - usually $200 pp ($400 for me and DH) / if they're very close friends or family - we usually give $300 pp ($500 - $600 for me and DH.)
Posted by CAEid[/QUOTE]

Yea, we do the same thing. I kind of got "yelled at" another board for making this comment about covering your plate - - but I didnt realize it was more of a NY mindset...one girl said "I left $20 at a wedding last year, should I be skewered for this?" LMFAO...

Leesa197 · June 2012

I don't think it is a rule or proper etiquette to cover your plate, however I think it is expected in this area. My husband and I would never go to a wedding without covering our plate and then some. How much extra depends on the relationship.

sunshineandlove · June 2012

I'm not from NY and I've always heard cover your plate. the problem with nyc is that its almost impossible. very hard to find places for under $200 per person for food and drinks and I doubt most couples come with $400 to give in hand. I say give what you can but no less than $50 pp.

ootmother2 · June 2012

I hadn't heard of "cover your plate" and I have lived in NYC since college.

I buy off the registry for the shower and give cash in a card for the wedding. An ordinary wedding, $200 ($400 if I bring a date). Family will get much larger gifts when I can afford them. This year, given the sheer number of weddings, it looks like $200 - $400 for everyone.

irisheyezrsmilen · June 2012

born and raised in NY and i have grown up to know you " cover my plate" HOWEVER with the crazy prices most places have now a days i think that rule has been tweeked a bit
ex. if you decide to get married at oheka castle on a sat night in the middle of spring, i'm sorry but i'll always give a very generous gift but i'm sure its not gonna cover that plate. but i'm sure there will be plenty of other guests that will cover there plate.
and the gift at a wedding is ALWAYS money. maybe its a new york thing. we went to wedding other places and looked like we forgot our gift cause people brought stuff like pots and pans, there wasnt even a card box.

the whole idea that you make money on your wedding it out the window now a days, especially in NY

rachael7183 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-new-york-city_question-for-my-ny-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:114Discussion:675f985b-8181-4566-b938-a979aab5db9dPost:e58f2ee4-8f06-44c0-b1f4-d2f9c0133fa8">Re: Question for my NY Brides</a>:
[QUOTE]born and raised in NY and i have grown up to know you " cover my plate" HOWEVER with the crazy prices most places have now a days i think that rule has been tweeked a bit ex. if you decide to get married at oheka castle on a sat night in the middle of spring, i'm sorry but i'll always give a very generous gift but i'm sure its not gonna cover that plate. but i'm sure there will be plenty of other guests that will cover there plate. and the gift at a wedding is ALWAYS money. maybe its a new york thing. we went to wedding other places and looked like we forgot our gift cause people brought stuff like pots and pans, there wasnt even a card box. the whole idea that you make money on your wedding it out the window now a days, especially in NY
Posted by irisheyezrsmilen[/QUOTE]

I completely 100% agree...you hope to make back a little of what you put out, if not ALL.

lolalitalaura · August 2012

is it rude to ask your guests to give cash rather than gifts? my fiancee and I already live together so we don't exactly need toasters or things like that...
what is a good way to indicate that you prefer cash?

planparty · October 2012

What is a good way to indicate you prefer a check? Only a small registry? In some cultures in NYC (Jewish and Italian) money is given. It is easy on the couple and you can use it to pay off so many things. I really don't want 4 cheese plates and 2 punchbowl sets!

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