Head Table? Any other ideas?

AwkOcto · February 2010

Head table or not?

Pros: Bridal party is front and center of everyone's attention, very traditional
Cons: Significant others of the bridal party won't get to spend time with their date during the dinner.

Any ideas? How have you gotten around this or dealt with it?

aerinpegadrak · February 2010

Please don't do a head table. No one cares who the bridal party are, and it's pretty miserable for both the WP members and their dates, especially if they don't really know other people at the wedding. The head table at my sister's wedding was torture for both me and FI.

The "traditional" last supper head table is going extinct in favor of a few different seating options:
- bride and groom sit alone (sweetheart table), which gives them the only privacy they'll get all day
- bride and groom sit with MOH, BM, and their dates
- bride and groom sit with their parents (only works if everyone gets along)
- BMs and dates at one table, GMs and dates at another
- WP sits wherever they want
(All of these would be at a regular table rather than one that's elevated or set up differently.) Any of these, or a combination thereof, would be better for all parties than a head table. I've really never heard a compelling argument for the head table other than, "That's just how it's done."

fairy_diva · February 2010

Skip the head table idea. Not only does this separate your wedding party from their dates, but the last wedding I was at that had one, it ended up being a waste of space. No one sat there but the bride and groom.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

Please skip the head table. They scream 80's. Aerin has some great suggestions.

We did a sweetheart table. It was perfect. That 10 minutes that we sat for dinner was the only time we really got to spend a little bit of quiet time together during the event. It's sweet and romantic, and I'm so glad they are catching on.

AwkOcto · February 2010

Thanks so much! My fiance was ALL about the head table, whereas I felt that I didn't want it but didn't know what other options we could do. Really appreciate the feedback !

fallbride1109 · February 2010

We had a regular round table amongst our guests. It was us and our parents, and our wedding party--which was all family except for the best man. I had read somewhere about having your head table be your first family dinner and I really liked that idea. (Of course, like the PP said, everyone has to get along.)

Head table discussions always crack me up though--you're there for 10 minutes if that. It's nothing to lose sleep over.

Blue_Bird · February 2010

I've been struggling with this as well. I don't like the idea of a head table with the wedding party being separated from their dates, but I also don't know if I like the idea of a sweetheart table and being separate from everyone. I'm thinking that we should either do a sweetheart table, or sit with our families, or our families our bridal party and their dates. Of course, that would be a HUGE table. Not sure how that would work.

trix1223 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_head-table-other-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:db8925bf-1d2c-43dd-88d1-b049e34f4c19Post:603e14c5-3b49-4c7f-9fa0-767c5c367ad2">Re: Head Table? Any other ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been struggling with this as well. I don't like the idea of a head table with the wedding party being separated from their dates, but I also don't know if I like the idea of a sweetheart table and being separate from everyone. I'm thinking that we should either do a sweetheart table, or sit with our families, or our families our bridal party and their dates. Of course, that would be a HUGE table. Not sure how that would work.
Posted by Blue_Bird[/QUOTE]

When you do a traditional head table, you're essentially separated from everyone anyway. I mean, it's not like you can talk with anyone except your DH on one side of you and whomever is on the other side. And you certainly can't talk with the people farther down the line.

Both my son and DD has sweetheart tables that were close to the tables we parents hosted. It's not like they were 20 yards away from anyone. But they did, as pp said, enjoy the 10-15 minutes of "couple time" that the sweetheart table gave them.

mbcdefg · February 2010

We will sit with our four attendants and their dates. Our reception tables seat 10 people each, so if they all bring a date then that's 10 of us right there.

We were totally against a bridal party-only head table because we didn't want to split them from their dates ... that's sending the exact opposite message at an event centered around the love and union of two people (why is it O.K. to say, "My union is more important than yours?"). Plus, what's the point?

I suggested a sweetheart table but FI did not want to be on display.

SuMmErKuTiE · February 2010

We are also doing a sweetheart table. From speaking with other recently married friends who had a sweetheart table they said it was really great to have a few minutes to themselves and to relax for a few minutes.

We never even considered doing a head table. We both know what it's like to be the SO of a WP member and awkwardly sitting at a table by ourselves. I also know what it's like to sit at a head table on display and you can only talk to the person on either side of you so it's not like the bride and groom are having one so they can talk to their whole bridal party.

OP: do what works best for you and FI whether it be a few minutes to yourselves at a sweetheart table or at a regular table with your families or your MOH and BM. HTH!

trix1223 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_head-table-other-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:db8925bf-1d2c-43dd-88d1-b049e34f4c19Post:b086fec8-4132-467c-8ff3-d722e127ed69">Re: Head Table? Any other ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]We will sit with our four attendants and their dates. Our reception tables seat 10 people each, so if they all bring a date then that's 10 of us right there. We were totally against a bridal party-only head table because we didn't want to split them from their dates ... that's sending the exact opposite message at an event centered around the love and union of two people (why is it O.K. to say, "My union is more important than yours?"). Plus, what's the point? I suggested a sweetheart table but FI did not want to be on display.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

malphabet, my DD had exactly the same feeling as your FI. She couldn't bear the thought of being "on display" during the time they'd be sitting at their sweetheart table. She solved that problem by rearranging the room a bit.

Her dinner space was a rectangular shaped room. Instead of being at the center of the space, they had their table in a corner facing out. Parent's tables were on either side, and then the rest of the tables. It's a little hard to explain in words, but the room looked lovely, and they were happy.

My dopey SIL complained that she couldn't see them, but that was exactly what DD was going for. Their parents could see them and talk with them, but others had to work a little harder to see them. It worked beautifully for them.

AwkOcto · February 2010

thanks everyone for your ideas and opinons! this has been very helpful

Head Table? Any other ideas?

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