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Thank you cards... Lost gift list!

MidnightMareMidnightMare member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi girls,
I feel horrible, but I cannot find the the list of gifts we recieved at the wedding. We opened them ourselves, as my husband was only home on leave for a short time (Army). We tried but could never get everyone together at the same time, and we certinly weren't waiting until everyone else was available and my husband had already left. This means we also have noone else who can help us remember who gave what.

We actually only got gifts, monetary or otherwise, from about 30% of the people who attended our wedding. I am not complaining in any way, it actually makes it a little easier to remember most of the gifts, but I still don't remember all of them.

My prediciment is, I will certinly of directly thank those whose gifts I remember. The issues is, how do i address those who I dont. I dont want to miss thanking people who gave gifts I dont remember, but I also dont want to seem like im fishing for gifts by sending thank yous to everyone. Is this a situation where sending generic thank yous to everyone I dont rmemeber gifts from be appropriate?

I would ask, but I would like to aviod making people feel bad who didnt bring a gift, as well as if my MIL found out, it would be AWFUL. Tensions are high with my husband deploying VERY soon, (which has somehow been deemed my fault), and her attitude will only get worse towards me, and right now I cannot handle that added stress.

Please help me, I want to do the best thing I can do in this situation, considering I already screwed up!
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Re: Thank you cards... Lost gift list!

  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In this case I would send specific thank yous to those you can remember (go over your guest list to jog your memory) and generic thank yous to everyone else.
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Try to personalize the notes in other ways (mention their job, hobby, some big event going on in their life) and then thank them for their "generous gift" and say you can't use it "as you start your new lives together."

    If you can't remember if the person gave a gift at all try the thank you for coming and for all of the wonderful things they've done for you.   

    I'd really, really keep looking for that list. This is a sucky situation.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    If gifts are from your registry, you might be able to get the store to tell you who bought what. 
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  • MidnightMareMidnightMare member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you girls. I have searched high and low for it. I think it may have been trown out by my unknowing and every helpful grandmother who I live with. We wrote them on an envelope, and it was on my dresser. I think she may have seen it and thought it was garbage and thrown it out. How would you write the generic thank yous? I am terrible at writing.

    It was one of those days where it seemed it was going to rain all day, but held out until about half hour before the ceremony started, and it made sure to make up for it! The thunderstorm/monsoon ended up taking down trees, closing roads, and our officant was half an hour late. We had a tent reception butted up to a house, and the lights went out a few times! I was thinking about adding a little humor to the thank yoius and mentioning those events, as they made our wedding truely unique, and I appreciate everyone coming even with the bad weather.

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  • lenergyrlahlenergyrlah member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-cards-lost-gift-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4cf400f-9e5c-4995-93a1-8284218bae85Post:4d6d834f-472e-4089-8254-d3112b852695">Re: Thank you cards... Lost gift list!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Try to personalize the notes in other ways (mention their job, hobby, some big event going on in their life) and then thank them for their <strong>"generous gift"</strong> and say you can't use it "as you start your new lives together." If you can't remember if the person gave a gift at all try the thank you for coming and for all of the wonderful things they've done for you.    I'd really, really keep looking for that list. This is a sucky situation.
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    <div>I definitely think you should personalize the "generic" cards.  Maybe write it as "we're so glad you could join us on our big day" rather than a thank-you note since you're not sure they gave a gift.  Then your aunt might call you up "I got your note. Did you receive our vase?" and you can explain and thank her then.</div><div>
    </div><div>But I definitely wouldn't thank everyone for their generous gift if only 30% of the guests gave gifts.  I would be really offended if for some reason I didn't give you a gift and then got a thank-you note for one.  It would seem very back-handed and fishing for a gift.</div>
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