Wedding Etiquette Forum

DRAMA

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Re: DRAMA

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:83472a83-7d97-48d6-845e-0b78d63ef9b7">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : And since you already said yes, what if they made reservations already?
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]
    They havent made reservations, they have a daughter who is under 18 and cant stay on the same resort as us
  • edited January 2010
    Um, where is your FI in all of this? Does he want his parents to witness his marriage ceremony? If he does, then you resenting them sounds very selfish indeed. You do realize that wedding ceremonies take like 5 minutes, right? And then I'm sure people would find other things to do and let you guys enjoy your honeymoon. So you're talking like .05 percent of your "weddingmoon" time to be shared with parents who want to see you get married. On their dime.



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    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:1a7c84a8-3e31-4d4f-9f83-a1d38cd7b7d5">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : Well apparently the people that gave birth to your FI do.  Sorry, you're just gonna have to accept that you're marrying into another family and that things can't always be done exactly how you want it.  There are other people's feelings to consider.  Don't stress about it, you'll have a lovely wedding and will be too happy and focused on your husband that day to care if there are any extra 8 people sitting and watching.
    Posted by Koopa17[/QUOTE]

    I couldn't have said it any better!
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  • Well, I got my answer. I will get over it, and the idea of a quiet, romantic, elopement. :(
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:5daf3977-3db5-4dbb-8dde-ea42dad635eb">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I got my answer. I will get over it, and the idea of a quiet, romantic, elopement. :(
    Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

    If you wanted that, you shouldn't have told anyone!
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:a62dc927-0219-4737-8d8e-fe7e6b45978d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : They havent made reservations, they have a daughter who is under 18 and cant stay on the same resort as us
    Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

    Ah.  Well, then you're completely entitled to tell them to fuuck off since it's your day.

    When you do that, please come back and let us know how it goes.  Or maybe even put it on YouTube.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • Its technically not an elopement because when you elope, you don't plan a wedding, you just do it and don't tell anyone.

    My parents eloped, they decided one day "let's get married" and went to the courthouse.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:5daf3977-3db5-4dbb-8dde-ea42dad635eb">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I got my answer. I will get over it, and the idea of a quiet, romantic, elopement. :(
    Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

    It can still be quite and romantic with the parents there. But yes, no elopement for you. You see, the thing about elopements is that you do them without telling anyone aka a secret. Otherwise its basically a DW.
  • ...That sad face almost makes me feel bad for you.

    But I still find you ridiculous.
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  • So there's what, like 4 extra people at your wedding? This hardly seems like a major event.
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  • Elopement concept understanding fail.  This is why you don't tell anyone before eloping, because people tend to get upset and they can still do something about it, ie. guilt the couple into not eloping.  Elopements only work because there isn't much anyone can do when the couple gets back and is already married.  What's done is done then.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6c511c24-8a8a-4a87-bf58-f5d2670d3e19">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Elopement concept understanding fail.  This is why you don't tell anyone before eloping, because people tend to get upset and they can still do something about it, ie. guilt the couple into not eloping.  Elopements only work because there isn't much anyone can do when the couple gets back and is already married.  What's done is done then.
    Posted by mocha beans[/QUOTE]
     yeah, I definitely scewed that concept in my head.
  • ooooor...you could put your foot down and say you are adults, you made a decision, and you'll send them a postcard. they may not be happy, but at least you and your fiance made a decision and stuck to it. if you change your mind because you want them to be happy, that's one thing. but they shouldn't be bullying other adults and stomping their feet about your decision. i hate parents like that.
  • If I had my way, we'd be going by ourselves to get married.  But, marriage isn't about just us.  It's the joining of two families, so those families have a right to be a part of it.  It's respectful and the right thing to do.
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  • Should they have bullied and cursed you? NO
    Should your fiance have handled it better? YES
    Should you have compromised your plans, especially if (If I am correct..) they aren't paying for anything? NO

    Reality: You did.

    Obviously its not ideal, but you can't really turn back now, all you can do is make the best of it.  If it were me, I would feel much more comfortable having my family also attend if I have to be with my fiance's family regardless. Just because they want to attend the wedding doesn't mean that they also have to join you on your honeymoon.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:4c22a9d0-66f5-4501-a379-3420556f23fb">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]Should they have bullied and cursed you? NO Should your fiance have handled it better? YES Should you have compromised your plans, especially if (If I am correct..) they aren't paying for anything? NO Reality: You did. 
    Posted by Brianne09[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>Hello, dear newbie. I like you. </p>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6588c2eb-a961-4254-abf8-b17870307d4d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.
    Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

    Uh maybe not to you and your family but did it ever cross your  mind that maybe they are a big deal to your FH's family? It may be "your day" but ultimately that day is about 2 families joining which includes your future in-laws. From your posts it seems like this is what YOU want but have you talked to your FH about how he feels? I know mine would be pretty upset if I said his parents couldn't come and there most likely wouldn't be a wedding if I did.
  • I just wanted to say COCCK TEASE!  I opened this thread expecting something good :(
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • It's not like your beach wedding will be private anyway. You just have to decide if you want strangers or familiars in the wedding pics.

    www.jamaicanjokes.com/pictures/20060819-intruder-lg.jpg" border="0" alt="Beach Wedding Intuder" />
  • Your parents don't think weddings are a big deal?  Do they think divorces are a big deal?  Because I'm thinking that both of those ARE pretty big deals!

    And I'd be hELLApissed if my son intentionally excluded me from seeing him get married.  Because, ya know, getting married is kind of a big deal, so therefore, so is the ceremony creating that marriage.
  • Nothing in Jamaica is private. And I do mean NOTHING.
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  • what does it matter if the sister isn't allowed on the resort? I'm sure his parents will stay at another resort with her. They aren't going to go mooch in on your time.

    you can still have a private romantic DW. I don't understand why you're so upset. You caved. They aren't going to spend the night in the room with you and your FI. Tell your Fiance to help his parents book at an adjoining resort.

    Be happy you're inlaws want to witness the wedding and approve of it. Be happy they are alive and well and able to travel a great distance and spend money to witness your marriage.

    If you're inlaws do spend the wedding night in your suite, please let us know. Then we'll validate your worries about not having privacy on you're "elopement".
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  • Yeah, the fact that your parents don't really care about your wedding is weird. Have you been married 4 times already? Are you the youngest of 9 kids? My parents would be really upset if they couldn't see me get married.
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  • My parents eloped. They went to Reno, found a cheap chapel, got married, made some phone calls. No one knew a thing until after the fact.

    Your plan was not to elope, but to have a super-private ceremony in Jamaica. That's just a teeny-tiny DW.

    I WANTED to elope, but FI wants a wedding. So guess what? We compromised. We're still going to Vegas, but we're inviting family and friends.

    So yeah, suck it up. It's not like they're going to be in your room giving you pointers.
    9.17.2010
    planning

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:22f3af43-207b-447c-be42-fb1f21907656">Re: DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : ::Applause:: And FWIW, when my parents got married in Korea, as per custom, the friends and family stayed outside their bedroom door all night and banged pots and pans. This was after they held my dad upside down and spanked his feet. I'm guessing none of these things are going to happen to you and your FI on your wedding day/night, so chill out. People just want to watch you get married, that is all. You'll have the rest of your lives for quiet, private, romantic evenings.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    hahahahah- this makes me feel SO much better.
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