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Bachelor Party - What did your FI's groomsmen do for him? - AHHHH

pprendipprendi member
First Comment
in Connecticut
Hey everyone:

I have to complain a little about my FI's groomsmen. His brother is his best man and I love him....but. No one wants to plan the Bachelor Party and we are getting married in less than a month. I had to call his other groomsmen to see when they were available to get together. My FI had to call his bro to make sure they can have a bbq in his backyard, AHHHH

Shouldn't his bro be doing this? I have to invite everyone. One of the other groomsmen saId that he was surprised I was calling him about it. My FI is such a good guy and his brother or the groomsmen should be doing this. I will get people there but his brother has to get the bbq together. I just don't want my FI not to have a Bachelor Party.

Thank you for listening! Sorry for the rant.


 
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Re: Bachelor Party - What did your FI's groomsmen do for him? - AHHHH

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    jacki8788jacki8788 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear that :( You're right, that's not fair at all. In my opinion, the best man shouldn't have accepted the role if he didn't want to be bothered with planning a bachelor party and helping out when asked. Was he not aware that that's part of the best man's "job"? You and your FI shouldn't have to be inconvenienced because no one wants to step up. Have you guys tried explaining this to his brother, and/or the groomsmen? Maybe even something somewhat subtle, like "Usually the best man/groomsmen do this sort of thing for the groom, like (insert example of a friend/family member who recently got married). I've been so busy with getting everything ready, it would really be great not to have to worry about the bachelor party" would get the point across? If not, is there anyone else in the family that could tell the best man (more directly) that he really should step up to the plate?

    Good luck, I hope everything works out!!
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel bad for your FI, that's really disappointing.  Is there someone who isn't a groomsman who you could rope into planning something for him?  In our case, FI's best men (two of 'em) are likely to plan something, but if they didn't my brother would jump in and plan something for him.

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    OrtiqueWeddingOrtiqueWedding
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My brother is one of the groomsmen & just decided he not only doesn't want to pitch in for the bachelor party (approx $30) he doesn't even want to attend ! I know he's not very close with my FI but I think he should be honored to be a groomsmen & think that is SOooooooo rude !
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    rswan412rswan412 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yuck. I'm kind of in the same situation..FI will get a Bachelor party, but his BM is lazy and one of his other groomsmen is the only one really doing any planning. They all claim they have no money to put towards it either....ummmm how long have you known about the wedding? Save your money! I know they don't have to participate but these are FI's life long friends!
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    Neileo27Neileo27
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the completely opposite boat.

    My guy's BM (2 of them) are already talking about Vegas!  My guy isn't a big drinker  and it already has me a little nervous.

    PP are right though this is the BM and groomsmen's job to plan.  Have you thought about talking to your FFIL?  If it's going to be a backyard BBQ maybe he can help you out.
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    blipsettprblipsettpr member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I gave up and my father and I planned my husbands stag.

    We booked a venue, got the alcohol, tickets, raffle prizes, food, girls, poker games, etc. No one from his family stepped up to help but it turned out amazing!
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