Catholic Weddings
DS was born 11/30/12... so in love 
Church Fee
I'm gonna be blunt here, I'm not cheap, but I am trying to stick to a budget as much as possible. My parish charges $450 to have a wedding there (even though we are both members), and I'm wondering how much of an additional donation we should give? We would have given probably at least $200 if there was no fee, but with the fee I don't know what is expected or reasonable? We tithe, we didn't splurge on other things (my dress cost $200, and we are going on a very low key honeymoon), and I just don't know what to do. I know weddings are expensive, but am I out of line here? Any advice would be great. Thanks.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Church Fee
110 Invited
RSVP Deadline: 10.06.10
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
Now, think about all the work each individual priest does. Hospital visits, home calls, counseling, all unpaid. Think about the poorer parishes that do not bring in much money with weekly tithes. Think about what a gift it would be for you to give a little extra to your priest and church to make all the work he/they do a little easier.
And there's always a silver lining to everything. This is a temporary sacrifice now. Your donation is tax deductible, it might come in handy come April 2011.
EDIT: Our EE weekend was $350 on top of everything else.
I don't know how much the organist charges though, he won't return my calls. But I can't imagine it will be more than $100.
[QUOTE]Think about it this way: your priest is essentially holding an extra service just for you and your loved ones. He's doing some pre-marital prep with you and your FI and writing an extra homily. The church's lights will be on, the place will be cleaned especially for you. That's what the $450 covers. Now, think about all the work each individual priest does. Hospital visits, home calls, counseling, all unpaid. Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
I think about it this way - it is part of his job and the job that he signed up for when he decided to become a priest. We are giving a donation to the church and a donation to the priest who will marry us, but I think putting it in terms that the priest is going out of his way to do you a favor by presiding at a wedding is quite odd.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church Fee : I think about it this way - it is part of his job and the job that he signed up for when he decided to become a priest. We are giving a donation to the church and a donation to the priest who will marry us, but I think putting it in terms that the priest is going out of his way to do you a favor by presiding at a wedding is quite odd.
Posted by oogiejonz[/QUOTE]
Oh, but he is. A wedding can very easily take place during an already scheduled Mass on Sunday or weekday, (and theologically is actually better because its part of the whole of the church community- like many churches are doing baptisms) without all the hoopla, flowers, decorations, and huge ordeal that comes with it. It's the wedding "industry" that has made a seperate saturday wedding with 200 people and all the "extras" that are unnecessary.
yes, its his "job" but out of that $450 he probably only personally gets maybe $100. divide that out by the number of hours he works, and it isnt much. its nice when folks show him that his chosen vocation is appreciated and doesnt go unnoticed.
[QUOTE]even if that's the case, maybe that extra donation can mean the difference between my priest eating steak one night versus spaghetti, or being able to put the heat up to 70 from 68 in the bitter cold new england weather or allow him to fly home to visit his elderly parent - somethign i'd gladly do for him.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
Oh, Calypso, absolutely. I wasn't disagreeing with you, more just to clarify where the money goes. (Don't want the church accused of simony). I think even more reason to give more $.
I know that the priest cannot keep the donation made in his name (which is why part of my gift to him will be a gift certificate!), but the donation will still go to the parish. My priest does so much, it's hard to get a hold of him during the day because he's volunteering his time on multiple projects. To alleviate his stress by getting more funds for those projects or making the rectory more comfortable is something I believe we should do in thanks of his good works.
[QUOTE]agapecarrie, there is no way the priest can only keep five dollars. I was required to write my priest a PERSONAL check for 200$ and it wasn't a donation. It was mandatory.
Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]
You wrote it to him directly? For the pre-marital counseling, I wrote the check to the church, not to the priest. And from my EE, my understanding was that any cash gift given to the priest had to be given from the priest back to the parish. Maybe it varies from parish to parish, but I really don't think my priest is rolling in the donation dough (and I hope not!).
But, on to happier thoughts, congratulations on your nuptials. The pictures were beautiful, and you and your husband looked so elated!
[QUOTE]i'm just happy she finally got married and had a great day! (and theresa, i still think you should write to a higher up/superior about some of this stuff).
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Agreed, congratulations to Theresa on her wedding!</div><div>
</div><div>Theresa, don't think we're ganging up on your Diocese's oddities. While it's perfectly fine to share your odd experiences, we just want to assure other brides (many who don't go to Mass regularly or are entering the Church for the first time) what is the norm and what the faith truly teaches about parishes and religious life. Sometimes they visit this board and learn about what the Church is truly about from what we write!</div><div>
</div><div>If you share an experience that fell short of what it should have been, we have to <em>explain why</em> it fell short or at least mention what it really should have been. Or else, it's not giving justice to the situation.</div>
2nd.... People here are mistaken about priest's vow of poverty. Only priests in communities and orders (consecrated) take vows of poverty. Secular priests (diocesan priests) do not do this.
A vow of poverty means that they own nothing. They entrust their care to their community. If someone gives them a gift, they ask permission from their superior to accept. Any material gifts are given to the community for support, use, or donation.The community gives them a car to use (not own) if necessary for their work.
Secular priests do not take a vow of poverty. They may own their own car, pay their own bills, have a retirement fund, accept gifts. (NOT as payment for sacraments). It depends on the diocese and parish how the priests personal expenses, living expenses, room and board are paid for. The priest does not make a living wage to pay for his own house, so the parishes ownership of the rectory takes care of the mortgage and heating bills. Usually, the priest's salary is from the parish he is stationed, or the diocese if he has a diocesan role. I must mention that often times the only way priests can make ends meet is through the "stipends" from weddings and other events. When my parish has a penance service and has neighboring priests come to hear confessions, the parish pays them a stipend. This is not simony.
[QUOTE] People here are mistaken about priest's vow of poverty. Only priests in communities and orders (consecrated) take vows of poverty. Secular priests (diocesan priests) do not do this.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]
We have a friend who is a priest and drives a shiny new Corvette. It seems odd, lots of people who see him ask "how does he reconcile that with his vow of poverty". Always surprised when they discover he did not take a vow of poverty.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Church Fee : We have a friend who is a priest and drives a shiny new Corvette. It seems odd, lots of people who see him ask "how does he reconcile that with his vow of poverty". Always surprised when they discover he did not take a vow of poverty.
Posted by oogiejonz[/QUOTE]
And most of the time, they did not purchase that the way most people purchase a vehicle. It is very likely that a combination of things occurred: 1) financial gift from parishioners 2) a parishioners owned a dealership and gave him a huge break 3)car was a gift , etc
Yeah, Swallow that.
$1500!!! thats a 200 year old church in a large city, but STILL! needless to say, we are not paying anything else toward the church!