Military Brides

They're deploying him out of cycle

We had everything set up. Then we found out that they MIGHT deploy him 6 months earlier than usual.

The problems with this are 1) he doesn't like to let his mother know he is deploying until a month before he actually goes, so a sudden change in the wedding date is a problem all by itself.
2) We both have kids in school, his are in high school, mine are in 3 different colleges with different spring breaks and different mid term schedules.
3) He wants to get married before he leaves.
4) The change in his deployment date isn't a for sure thing and won't be until ...oh February-ish. We were getting married in June. He was supposed to deploy the following October, Now it looks like it might be April.
5) I just found out it might take 6 months to get his certified divorce decree from CA

What a mess.

Any ideas on how to make this easier?

Re: They're deploying him out of cycle

  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    Are you totally sure you need the divorce decree? I don't here because my divorce is more than 3 years old.

    Also, I'd wait a little bit to make totally sure he's leaving. There's always a might in the military. Then I'd worry more.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • edited December 2011
    yes, my state (DE, not PA like it shows) requires certified copies of the divorce decrees.
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    Well, bummer. I can pick up a copy of my divorce decree here (CA), so worse comes to worse, I suppose he could fly out for a day and get it. 

    As for the rest, I'd say to worry as little as possible, until things are certain.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • kara811kara811
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    Like PP, definitely wait for the deployment schedule. This same thing happened to my FI, their regular deployment schedule was changed suddenly, then changed again, and again and again. And now it's back to its normal schedule and he will be here for the wedding. Hope you figure out the rest though. Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks. Good idea about flying out to CA. Thanks.

    I'm familiar with how things change, we've been together for quite a while. But it's so FRUSTRATING!

    The funny thing is, several of my froends who don't know much about the military have said, "can't you just tell them that you are getting married and he just can't go then?" ROFL!!
  • edited December 2011
    The funny thing is, several of my friends who don't know much about the military have said, "can't you just tell them that you are getting married and he just can't go then?" ROFL!!

    This made me laugh out loud, literally. If only it was that simple. I would just wait, they have changed my FI's deployment date so many times it is unreal. FI talks about how I can't make up MY MIND.HA. l0l. It is just pretty much a sit and wait type deal, but it's part of the military. My fav thing that my FI says, hurry up and wait.l0l.

    I hope that it works out for you. Like PP said. Have him fly out to Cali. Then need be put together a quick wedding. GL!
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to They're deploying him out of cycle:
    We had everything set up. Then we found out that they MIGHT deploy him 6 months earlier than usual. The problems with this are 1) he doesn't like to let his mother know he is deploying until a month before he actually goes, so a sudden change in the wedding date is a problem all by itself. 2) We both have kids in school, his are in high school, mine are in 3 different colleges with different spring breaks and different mid term schedules. 3) He wants to get married before he leaves. 4) The change in his deployment date isn't a for sure thing and won't be until ...oh February-ish. We were getting married in June. He was supposed to deploy the following October, Now it looks like it might be April. 5) I just found out it might take 6 months to get his certified divorce decree from CA What a mess. Any ideas on how to make this easier?
    Posted by Kyrossmith

    Is he in the middle of a divorce or is it already final and he just needs a copy?  Because if he's still trying to finalize a divorce good luck because it could take wayyyyyy longer than just 6 months,  CA is so backed up in the court system they are taking FOREVER to do anything divorce related.  My friend has been trying to divorce her "husband" for 2 years.
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  • edited December 2011
    His divorce has been final for about 11 years now. (we're in our 40's) It won't be a problem at all for him to schedule himself a flight out to CA, and he has tons of leave so taking a few days off if he needs to wait for a flight back isn't a problem either, so that's what we will probably do. Then have a tiny ceremony while my yongest (and furthest away) daughter is home for Christmas break, then have a larger, what we originally planned, renewal of our vows with all of the family and friends either on the date originally planned or when he gets back. I just had to get past the inital panic LOLZ

    Yeah, you just have to work around the military, but coming from a non-military back ground, even though I've done the twists and turns of being flexible with them quite a lot over the last few years, this is the first time they have really gotten in the middle of anything major. (Well...the last time he deployed I had to have surgery for cancer, and being "just" the girlfriend I had to deal with it without him, which was a bigger problem for him than it was for me...this is part of why he wants to be married before he leaves)

    With the comments about just telling the Air Force that he can't go because of the wedding...I just kind of stare at those people blankly and shake my head. Some people are goofy. 

    Thanks for the suggestions and the suppot!
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