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So far so good

Daninurse7Daninurse7
First Comment
in Michigan-Detroit
Hi everybody...I'm newly engaged (June 4, 2010) and have just started to browe around on here looking for tips and such.

So far I have:
Photographer...Sandy from the camera chick
Ceremony....Victoria Wedding Chapel
Hair...A friend
Wedding party/guest list...4 girls and 4 guys, no flowergirl/ring bearer.  Approx 150 guests (reception) 50 guest (wedding)

Hopefully in the next couple of weeks my FMIL and Mom will have the guests that they want to invite so that we can pick a venue for the reception.  And I've been looking for my dress (I love love love allurebridals.com style 8755 & 8764)  and bridesmaid dresses...I've found a couple of good ones (Bari Jay and Watters.)  That's pretty much all I've got so far...
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Re: So far so good

  • DetroitGyrlDetroitGyrl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Congrats on getting so much accomplished so far.
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  • KelkiKelki
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    edited December 2011
    Welcome! You will get a lot of help around here :)
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  • sunkissed212sunkissed212 member
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    edited December 2011
    Welcome! You're off to a good start! Happy planning! :)
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    First Comment First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_far-good?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c3646b8-f644-474b-b7d9-cd1f8df0eb43Post:2de13570-5a94-4dd4-96e7-eb269dd8f09c">So far so good</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everybody...I'm newly engaged (June 4, 2010) and have just started to browe around on here looking for tips and such. So far I have: Photographer...Sandy from the camera chick Ceremony....Victoria Wedding Chapel Hair...A friend Wedding party/guest list...4 girls and 4 guys, no flowergirl/ring bearer.<strong>  Approx 150 guests (reception) 50 guest (wedding)</strong> Hopefully in the next couple of weeks my FMIL and Mom will have the guests that they want to invite so that we can pick a venue for the reception.  And I've been looking for my dress (I love love love allurebridals.com style 8755 & 8764)  and bridesmaid dresses...I've found a couple of good ones (Bari Jay and Watters.)  That's pretty much all I've got so far...
    Posted by Daninurse7[/QUOTE]

    Congrats on the engagement! Looks like you've got a good start on the plans, when's the big day?

    One question - how are you having a 50 guest wedding and 150 reception? Are you planning on NOT inviting a majority of your guests to the ceremony? If so, I would advise against that.

    IMO its very rude to exclude people from the most important part of the day. I personally would be quite offended to receive an invitation to your reception but not be welcome to witness the ceremony and see you exchange your vows.
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  • cristinaldcristinald
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    congrats on the engagement, and welcome!!  you are off to a great start.  everyone here is incredibly helpful and will be able to help keep the momentum going.  good luck!  :)

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  • Daninurse7Daninurse7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Were getting married June 25, 2011

    IAnd to answer the ? about the different guest lists:
    I've always been one of those people that went to the wedding and the reception because i think it's important.  But the truth is that most people really only want to come to the party...that's the reason for the different guest list.  We wanted to have a small more intimate ceremony for our family and close friends, but we still wanted to have the big party to celebrate.  The majority of the people that i have talked to that will not be at the wedding ceremony are super stoked that they dont have to go to the wedding too.  And the people that really want to come to the wedding are the ones that are already invited. 
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome Daninurse7. Looking forward to hearing all your plans.
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  • emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome!

    MO 50 guests =/= small and intimate.  If you are going to pull off the smaller ceremony, you should cap it at 15-20 guests max.  Think about it.  50 people is a 1/3 of your guest list.  I would be extremely offended to be left out of one part of the day.  Honestly, the ceremony is my favorite part of the wedding.  That's when they are married which is the reason for the day.

    And I also hope by "they are already invited" means they have received a save the date.  Because it is WAY too early to send out invitations.  Invites go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
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  • mordaciousmordacious
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_far-good?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c3646b8-f644-474b-b7d9-cd1f8df0eb43Post:bc201c62-9914-46f3-8572-2c360e971754">Re: So far so good</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to So far so good : Congrats on the engagement! Looks like you've got a good start on the plans, when's the big day? One question - how are you having a 50 guest wedding and 150 reception? Are you planning on NOT inviting a majority of your guests to the ceremony? If so, I would advise against that. IMO its very rude to exclude people from the most important part of the day. I personally would be quite offended to receive an invitation to your reception but not be welcome to witness the ceremony and see you exchange your vows.
    Posted by Booger+Bear[/QUOTE]

    agreed! i love the ceremony!
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  • July032011July032011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! Congrats!  Sandy from the camera chick is our photographer too! Isn't she great!  Have you started looking for a reception venue yet?
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  • Kimbus 87Kimbus 87 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with above posts -- I love the ceremony and am not sure how I would feel if I didn't get invited.

    As far as everything else -- sounds like you have a good jump on the planning process.
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  • sammichelesammichele
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and good luck with all of your planning!  We are date twins!
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    First Comment First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_far-good?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c3646b8-f644-474b-b7d9-cd1f8df0eb43Post:66a97c3b-6916-42f9-8052-fec55808156f">Re: So far so good</a>:
    [QUOTE]Were getting married June 25, 2011 IAnd to answer the ? about the different guest lists: I've always been one of those people that went to the wedding and the reception because i think it's important. <strong> But the truth is that most people really only want to come to the party..</strong>.that's the reason for the different guest list.  We wanted to have a small more intimate ceremony for our family and close friends, but we still wanted to have the big party to celebrate.  The majority of the people that i have talked to that will not be at the wedding ceremony are super stoked that they dont have to go to the wedding too.  And the people that really want to come to the wedding are the ones that are already invited. 
    Posted by Daninurse7[/QUOTE]

    I could not disagree with the bolded statement more. And if it is true, then I just feel sorry for you. You are telling me that 2/3 of your friends and family are only interested in getting free food/booze?
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats!!  But ditto PPs on the smaller ceremony.  I would be very offended -- I love ceremonies.  I mean, isn't that what the day is really all about??  In fact, I have been invited to two weddings on the same day before and was so happy that I was able to attend both ceremonies due to the time, even though I was only able to attend one of the receptions.
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  • cristinaldcristinald
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess my opinion is a little oppositie from the majority....weddings are different for each couple/family/etc.  While the descion to have a small ceremony and a large reception isn't right for everyone, it doesn't mean it's wrong.    I personally wouldn't be offended if I were invited to 'just' a reception.  It is still people you care about asking you to help celebrate a joyous occasion with them. 
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    First Comment First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_far-good?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:0c3646b8-f644-474b-b7d9-cd1f8df0eb43Post:5a42bb20-71f1-47f0-8790-3a24e97f4ff7">Re: So far so good</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my opinion is a little opposite from the majority....weddings are different for each couple/family/etc.  While the descion to have a small ceremony and a large reception isn't right for everyone, it doesn't mean it's wrong.    I personally wouldn't be offended if I were invited to 'just' a reception.  It is still people you care about asking you to help celebrate a joyous occasion with them. 
    Posted by cristinald[/QUOTE]

    I agree that there is never a one size fits all for weddings. I guess my problem with the whole notion stems from the continued importance being put on the reception part of the day and the ceremony is frequently becoming a 10-15 minute blip.

    IMO the ceremony - the part where you are vowing to spend the remainder of your lives as partners - is way more important than a 'party'. Yes its nice to celebrate with your friends and family, but the focus should be on the ceremony and the seriousness as well as joyfulness of the vows you are making with your spouse.

    If the OP wants to have 150 people to celebrate great, then throw a big party. But if they are only inviting 50 to the ceremony, then the reception - which is intended for the bride/groom to receive their guests after the ceremony - should only include those 50 people.

    I stand by my post that if I were her guest and I received the invite to the reception only I would be offended to not be 'good enough' to see them exchange vows. Because even if that's not the intent - its how it appears. And furthermore, it may also come off as gift-grabby that she wants 100 extra people to come (and bring a card with money) but they aren't the 'close family/friends' that get to see the ceremony. Not saying that's her intent, but again, it could be interpreted that way.

    The only time something like this is acceptable is in cases, such as a Mormon couple, who by their religious beliefs are only allowed to have themselves and the minister present for the ceremony. Other than those types of exceptions I don't understand why the bride/groom do this and think its poor planning if nothing else.

    OP is more than welcome to do as she wishes - but it doesn't change my opinion.
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