Best Man issues

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

Ok fellow brides I have an issue:

My fiance chose his best friend to be his best man about 10 months ago. He was estatic and is going a great job in being supportive. Only problem is now, he is getting deployed 2 weeks before the wedding. Since it's coming up so soon, we had to make some adjustments to our party by moving one of the ushers to be a groomsmen and move the next groosmen in line to be the best man. Luckily, everyone is great friends with the groom and no hard feelings were had because they understoo the situation.

Now, with 54 days until the wedding and the "new" wedding party buying tuxes, ties, etc...the old best man says he won't be shipped out until 10 days after the wedding so now he can make it. Programs and arrangements were already made so now to have the new best man and usher step down is inconsiderate and rude. I don't want them to feel like they were being used. FH and I politely said to old best man that he can come as an honored guest, but unfortunatley it's too late of notice to say you can be in the wedding now. He understands, but I think he is hurt because he was so excited to be a part of the big day, especially since he's done all of the best man duties so far (bachelor parties etc)...so now I feel bad. What would you guys do??

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:7a1bb795-d0b3-4616-a380-aed42a166d86">Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok fellow brides I have an issue: My fiance chose his best friend to be his best man about 10 months ago. He was estatic and is going a great job in being supportive. Only problem is now, he is getting deployed 2 weeks before the wedding. Since it's coming up so soon, we had to make some adjustments to our party by moving one of the ushers to be a groomsmen and move the next groosmen in line to be the best man. Luckily, everyone is great friends with the groom and no hard feelings were had because they understoo the situation. Now, with 54 days until the wedding and the "new" wedding party buying tuxes, ties, etc...the old best man says he won't be shipped out until 10 days after the wedding so now he can make it. Programs and arrangements were already made so now to have the new best man and usher step down is inconsiderate and rude. I don't want them to feel like they were being used. FH and I politely said to old best man that he can come as an honored guest, but unfortunatley it's too late of notice to say you can be in the wedding now. He understands, but I think he is hurt because he was so excited to be a part of the big day, especially since he's done all of the best man duties so far (bachelor parties etc)...so now I feel bad. What would you guys do??
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

This is why you never EVER replace people in a wedding. I don't care if your friends outwardly don't admit it hurt their feelings, but it probably did. You absolutely are using them as spot fillers. I can't believe you replaced your best man because he was getting deployed to fight for his country! What do you think that makes him feel like? Crap. That's what. It makes him feel like he is absolutely replaceable as your friend and as your best man.

My H has been "promoted" from usher to GM before so I do know how it feels firsthand because he told me. it feels awful, like he wasn't good enough beforehand, but now since the groom and a GM had a falling out, he's good enough to fill a spot. Shame on you for doing this.

It's already done, so you can't undo but absolutely do NOT kick your original best man out of the wedding or make him an honored guest. You make this as right as you possibly can by having two best men.

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

We had to do it because of uneven sides. Yeah, it kind of sucks he's leaving and he's still in the program as best man with an astrix next to him, but the new best man will be standing in his place. They are not spot fillers. My FH wanted more groomsmen anyways, but couldn't because we had uneven sides and not enough room for 5 and 5. Now we have 4 and 4 and everyone is happy. We honored him for fighting his country in the program, but telling us 54 days before the wedding that now you can make it puts us in a tough spot because we can't have him be in it now because the gazebo we're getting married in only holds 4 and 4. I don't know where to put him or how he can still be involved.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

So having even sides is more important than your close friends' feelings? Good to know.

I would rather have my WP stand outside the gazebo than cut someone from my wedding.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:7a1bb795-d0b3-4616-a380-aed42a166d86">Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok fellow brides I have an issue: My fiance chose his best friend to be his best man about 10 months ago. He was estatic and is going a great job in being supportive. Only problem is now, he is getting deployed 2 weeks before the wedding. Since it's coming up so soon, we had to make some adjustments to our party by moving one of the ushers to be a groomsmen and move the next groosmen in line to be the best man. Luckily, everyone is great friends with the groom and no hard feelings were had because they understoo the situation. Now, with 54 days until the wedding and the "new" wedding party buying tuxes, ties, etc...the old best man says he won't be shipped out until 10 days after the wedding so now he can make it. Programs and arrangements were already made so <strong>now to have the new best man and usher step down is inconsiderate and rude</strong>. I don't want them to feel like they were being used. FH and I politely said to old best man that he can come as an honored guest, but unfortunatley it's too late of notice to say you can be in the wedding now. He understands, but <strong>I think he is hurt because he was so excited to be a part of the big day, especially since he's done all of the best man duties so far</strong> (bachelor parties etc)...so now I feel bad. What would you guys do??
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

It was inconsiderate and rude of both you and your FI to replace the best man.

He isn't hurt because he spent time doing the best man "duties" (those are completely voluntary and he did them because he is a good friend to your FI), he is upset because he was so easily replaced.

I would put him back in as best man. Programs are not as important as your friends feelings. Keep the "new" best man as a second best man and keep the usher as a groomsman. Apologize profusely to the best man that what you did was completely disrespectful and that no matter what you want him standing up there with you.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:f8e28b7e-25ef-4aab-b6c3-83135fef9ae5">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We had to do it because of uneven sides</strong>. Yeah, it kind of sucks he's leaving and he's still in the program as best man with an astrix next to him, but the new best man will be standing in his place. They are not spot fillers. My FH wanted more groomsmen anyways, but couldn't because we had uneven sides and not enough room for 5 and 5. Now we have 4 and 4 and everyone is happy. We honored him for fighting his country in the program, but telling us 54 days before the wedding that now you can make it puts us in a tough spot because we can't have him be in it now because the gazebo we're getting married in only holds 4 and 4. I don't know where to put him or how he can still be involved.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/3/f59b1a61-2427-46f9-a36f-c37905acc3ab.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/3/f59b1a61-2427-46f9-a36f-c37905acc3ab.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Wow, it amazes me how many times people care more about the looks of their wedding then people's feelings. Also, it isn't like he told you the day before your wedding, he told you a whole 2 months out. And anyway, it wasn't like he had control over when or if he was going to be deployed. No matter what you have to make this right and the only way to make it right is to have him stand up in your wedding party.

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

What if the army changes their mind again and he does ship out before the wedding? he'd pay for a tux and we'd plan on him being in it and then he's gone again. I just am afraid that will happen becuse he THINKS he will be there for it, but doesn't know for sure.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:d0183676-f480-46d4-b33e-e18931368f31">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]What if the army changes their mind again and he does ship out before the wedding? he'd pay for a tux and we'd plan on him being in it and then he's gone again. I just am afraid that will happen becuse he THINKS he will be there for it, but doesn't know for sure.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

Well sh*t happens and you can't control everything.

Why not just have him wear his dress uniform so that way he won't have to worry about spendingn money on a tux that he may or may not wear.

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

I talked it over with FH and he is going to stand next to him on the big day and not walk down with anyone IF he is indeed going to stay. The platoon has gone back and forth many times of when he will be shipped out and it's making me a nervous wreck. I know I can't control it, but I hate the fact his best friend can't be there, but maybe can, but maybe can't, but might. I'd like to know so we can accomendate them back into being the best man so now he will have two. We'll just have to sqeeze real tight and some people will have to be on the ground, but I do want him involved.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

Holy crap. My jaw is hurting right now from the number of times it dropped on my desk reading this.

OP - make him a GM, screw the even sides and figure out how to squeeze one more person into that all important gazebo. And FFS you and your FI need to make the apologies of a lifetime to this guy for the way you have treated him throughout this.

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

Ok...instead of bashing me..read the above comment about how are are going to have him stand up next to my fiance. He won't walk down with anyone, but will be there standing right next to him. He will have 2 best mans. I hope he can stay. I'd realy like to know though so we can make sure he gets a tux and gets invited to the reheasral dinner etc. It's just a tough spot.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:225a29ec-925b-49f7-bfaa-6b51ab0510c6">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok...instead of bashing me..read the above comment about how are are going to have him stand up next to my fiance. He won't walk down with anyone, but will be there standing right next to him. He will have 2 best mans. I hope he can stay. I'd realy like to know though <strong>so we can make sure he gets a tux and gets invited to the reheasral dinner etc. It's just a tough spot.</strong>
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

A PP suggested he wear his dress uniform instead of a tux. What is wrong with him doing that? Then he is not out money if he gets deployed early.

I don't get the RD comment. If he's still around, you invite him to the RD. If he's shipped out, he obviously can't be there.

And I agree with PP that even though you are still having him stand up there, I would apologize profusely to him for what transpired.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:225a29ec-925b-49f7-bfaa-6b51ab0510c6">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok...instead of bashing me..read the above comment about how are are going to have him stand up next to my fiance. He won't walk down with anyone, but will be there standing right next to him. He will have 2 best mans. I hope he can stay. I'd realy like to know though so we can make sure he gets a tux and gets invited to the reheasral dinner etc. It's just a tough spot.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

Look at the time stamps on the posts. I was writing while you posted. I still stand by my comment that you and your FI owe one hell of an apology.

LDubHawksFan · July 2012

Pretty sure a MOH wouldn't mind having two men on her arms walking down....

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:f8e28b7e-25ef-4aab-b6c3-83135fef9ae5">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]We had to do it because of uneven sides. Yeah, it kind of sucks he's leaving and he's still in the program as best man with an astrix next to him, but the new best man will be standing in his place. They are not spot fillers. My FH wanted more groomsmen anyways, but couldn't because we had uneven sides and not enough room for 5 and 5. Now we have 4 and 4 and everyone is happy. We honored him for fighting his country in the program, but telling us 54 days before the wedding that now you can make it puts us in a tough spot because we can't have him be in it now because the gazebo we're getting married in only holds 4 and 4. I don't know where to put him or how he can still be involved.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

You seem like one of the most entitled brides I have come across in quite awhile on TK.

So, uneven sides are more important to you than your friends feelings? How friggin awesome of you!

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:0a035034-e8f4-4808-83a9-24a813283b8e">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man issues : Look at the time stamps on the posts. I was writing while you posted. I still stand by my comment that <strong>you and your FI owe one hell of an apology.
</strong>Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

Agreed 100%

emwalsh1 · July 2012

I don't post on here much, but I could not help myself with this one. This honestly made me so sad for your best man while reading the whole post. Obviously I do not need to go into the whole replacing him thing because PPs covered that.

However, I just wanted to say that the most insulting and offensive part of this is that you replaced a man going to serve our country and are now acting like it is a burden on YOU that he does not know when he will be deployed. Can you imagine how HE must feel, preparing for deployment, being unsure of exactly when the army will ship him out, and now he gets to find out that your main concern in all of this is how it will make your wedding look?

And, as a PP mentioned, you should absolutely let him wear his dress uniform. It is an honor to know someone who bravely serves our country and it should be an honor to you to have him stand up in your wedding in his military uniform. (The best man in my wedding is active duty navy. One of the first things that FI told him after asking him to be the best man is that we would be honored for him to wear his military uniform in the wedding, which also is nice as it eliminates the cost of a tux for him)

mabrown5 · July 2012

[QUOTE]I don't post on here much, but I could not help myself with this one. This honestly made me so sad for your best man while reading the whole post. Obviously I do not need to go into the whole replacing him thing because PPs covered that. <strong>However, I just wanted to say that the most insulting and offensive part of this is that you replaced a man going to serve our country and are now acting like it is a burden on YOU that he does not know when he will be deployed.</strong> Can you imagine how HE must feel, preparing for deployment, being unsure of exactly when the army will ship him out, and now he gets to find out that your main concern in all of this is how it will make your wedding look? <strong>And, as a PP mentioned, you should absolutely let him wear his dress uniform.</strong> It is an honor to know someone who bravely serves our country and it should be an honor to you to have him stand up in your wedding in his military uniform. (The best man in my wedding is active duty navy. One of the first things that FI told him after asking him to be the best man is that we would be honored for him to wear his military uniform in the wedding, which also is nice as it eliminates the cost of a tux for him)
Posted by emwalsh1[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this. Espicailly the bolded parts. You should never have looked at this as a burden and therefore "replaced" him. Yes you have now made arragements for him to be part of the wedding <em>again</em> but you and your FI owe him an applogy. My best friend's husband had his BM in the army. He was overseas before, during and after the wedding. In stead of replacing him, they honored him in the programs and let him have the position. To them it meant more that he was willling to be the BM regarless of where he was, then "uneven sides."

runpipparun · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:b421586d-9abc-4c4b-a957-8e652c4ffae8">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I talked it over with FH and he is going to stand next to him on the big day and not walk down with anyone IF he is indeed going to stay. The platoon has gone back and forth many times of when he will be shipped out and it's making me a nervous wreck.<strong> I know I can't control it, but I hate the fact his best friend can't be there, but maybe can, but maybe can't, but might. </strong>I'd like to know so we can accomendate them back into being the best man so now he will have two. We'll just have to sqeeze real tight and some people will have to be on the ground, but I do want him involved.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You basically just said, "I know that I can't control it, but I HATE that I can't control it."</div><div>
</div><div>The fact is, this guy is your FI's best friend, and whether or not he is there physically, he is your FI's "best man." The "best man" is not simply a wedding role; it's the title that belongs to the person who is closest and most important to your FI. For you to hand it over to somebody else simply because he may or may not be there due to his service is... childish. Utterly. If the man is in the country, then it is icing on the cake that he will be by your FI's side, regardless of whether the sides are even. If he cannot be there because he is overseas, then he is STILL best man, and should be regarded as such.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't know why so many brides feel like the roles of the wedding party are parts that have to be filled or cast, like in a play. And why they can have both stars and understudies for those roles. <em>Well, the role of "Maid of Honor" at today's wedding will be played by Susie Smith, as Jenny Johnson refused to attend the bachelorette weekend in Vegas last month.</em>

</div>

renegade gaucho · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:b421586d-9abc-4c4b-a957-8e652c4ffae8">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I talked it over with FH and he is going to stand next to him on the big day and not walk down with anyone IF he is indeed going to stay. <strong>The platoon has gone back and forth many times of when he will be shipped out and it's making me a nervous wreck</strong>. I know I can't control it, but I hate the fact his best friend can't be there, but maybe can, but maybe can't, but might. I'd like to know so we can accomendate them back into being the best man so now he will have two. We'll just have to sqeeze real tight and some people will have to be on the ground, but I do want him involved.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

What the hell is wrong with you? Yes, plans change all the time with the military. This causes chaos and added stress for servicemembers and their families. My husband's deployment date got pushed back several times, causing serious hardship for him with his civilian employer and jeopardizing his ability to complete his master's program. On top of that, his grandfather is dying and probably won't live to see my husband come home. The uncertainty has a severe negative impact on military families with children and those experiencing financial hardship. Those are all potentially life-altering things. Your fiance's friend is going through all of this and you have the nerve to complain that it's making YOU a nervous wreck?

My husband had to drop out of his good friend's wedding because he was told he was being deployed. When he found out he would be home for the wedding after all because the deployment date was pushed back, his friend immediately welcomed him back into the wedding party and told him he could wear his dress uniform so he didn't have to worry about getting a tux, and earnestly invited us both to the rehearsal dinner and gave a speech to the whole wedding party and his family about how glad he was to have my husband standing up for him on his wedding day. I really hope you're in a tough spot one day (a GENUINE tough spot, unlike this tough spot you seem to think you're in now) and the people you consider your good friends show you exactly the same consideration you are showing for your fiance's best man right now.

Oh, and by the way, the plural of "man" is "men", not "mans".

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:9b0b7182-f5fa-4f2b-bca0-55222b6e0925">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't post on here much, but I could not help myself with this one. This honestly made me so sad for your best man while reading the whole post. Obviously I do not need to go into the whole replacing him thing because PPs covered that. However, I just wanted to say that the most insulting and offensive part of this is that you replaced a man going to serve our country and are now acting like it is a burden on YOU that he does not know when he will be deployed. Can you imagine how HE must feel, preparing for deployment, being unsure of exactly when the army will ship him out, and now he gets to find out that your main concern in all of this is how it will make your wedding look? And, as a PP mentioned, you should absolutely let him wear his dress uniform. It is an honor to know someone who bravely serves our country and it should be an honor to you to have him stand up in your wedding in his military uniform. (The best man in my wedding is active duty navy. One of the first things that FI told him after asking him to be the best man is that we would be honored for him to wear his military uniform in the wedding, which also is nice as it eliminates the cost of a tux for him)
Posted by emwalsh1[/QUOTE]

I'm liking your style on this ;)

maribeth721 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:248b02d8-2070-48ea-9670-ed56bc705a3d">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Best Man issues : <strong>This is why you never EVER replace people in a wedding. I don't care if your friends outwardly don't admit it hurt their feelings, but it probably did</strong>. You absolutely are using them as spot fillers. I can't believe you replaced your best man because he was getting deployed to fight for his country! What do you think that makes him feel like? Crap. That's what. It makes him feel like he is absolutely replaceable as your friend and as your best man. My H has been "promoted" from usher to GM before so I do know how it feels firsthand because he told me. it feels awful, like he wasn't good enough beforehand, but now since the groom and a GM had a falling out, he's good enough to fill a spot. Shame on you for doing this. It's already done, so you can't undo but absolutely do NOT kick your original best man out of the wedding or make him an honored guest. You make this as right as you possibly can by having two best men.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

I'm sure she already knows this now (hindsight 20/20) and doesn't need you throwing it in her face.

Sides being uneven is fine. What about having 2 best men so you can still include him? My brother was unexpectedly deployed and can no longer be in our wedding, so I feel you on the military thing. Sucks :( However - this is more importnat than your wedding or my wedding or any other wedding ever. So just keep that in mind. Your wedding will not be awful because of this and in fact should be better now because he's able to be there.

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:b895f0fc-053f-4243-8082-5e5f3eb87238">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man issues : I'm sure she already knows this now (hindsight 20/20) and <strong>doesn't need you throwing it in her face</strong>. Sides being uneven is fine. What about having 2 best men so you can still include him? My brother was unexpectedly deployed and can no longer be in our wedding, so I feel you on the military thing. Sucks :( However - this is more importnat than your wedding or my wedding or any other wedding ever. So just keep that in mind. Your wedding will not be awful because of this and in fact should be better now because he's able to be there.
Posted by maribeth721[/QUOTE]

A bit much, ya think?

Cole&Kailee · July 2012

glad no one has a job or anything and can just attack and troll the internet all day. Awesome for you!

Meghannsix · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:1d5cacc4-a1ac-41c2-a8b9-bf62fb5c1481">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Pretty sure a MOH wouldn't mind having two men on her arms walking down....
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

Especially if one of them is in his dress uniform. If you decide to replace your MOH, I might be able to clear my calendar.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:9ae0e3c5-f0b4-4954-9279-e6ccebc6c724">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]glad no one has a job or anything and can just attack and troll the internet all day. Awesome for you!
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

No one is attacking; you put your problems and issues out there on the Internet for all to see. If you didn't want feedback, why did you post? Also, speak for yourself. I have a job; I'm a teacher. A perk of that job is getting summers off. But way to make an assumption.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

I<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:0b06ba17-73b0-4c09-b528-51d771b55292">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man issues : What the hell is wrong with you? Yes, plans change all the time with the military. This causes chaos and added stress for servicemembers and their families. My husband's deployment date got pushed back several times, causing serious hardship for him with his civilian employer and jeopardizing his ability to complete his master's program. On top of that, his grandfather is dying and probably won't live to see my husband come home. The uncertainty has a severe negative impact on military families with children and those experiencing financial hardship. Those are all potentially life-altering things. Your fiance's friend is going through all of this and you have the nerve to complain that it's making YOU a nervous wreck? My husband had to drop out of his good friend's wedding because he was told he was being deployed. When he found out he would be home for the wedding after all because the deployment date was pushed back, his friend immediately welcomed him back into the wedding party and told him he could wear his dress uniform so he didn't have to worry about getting a tux, and earnestly invited us both to the rehearsal dinner and gave a speech to the whole wedding party and his family about how glad he was to have my husband standing up for him on his wedding day. I really hope you're in a tough spot one day (a GENUINE tough spot, unlike this tough spot you seem to think you're in now) and the people you consider your good friends show you exactly the same consideration you are showing for your fiance's best man right now. Oh, and by the way, the plural of "man" is "men", not "mans".
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

Love. Love. Love.

I so wanted to respond like this but having a husband who is a civilian contractor for the army and him working out of McGuire-Lakehurst-Dix wasn't enough to let me write this. The first thing I think of when I see military families is that my worries and problems are nothing compared to what so many of these people are going through. It broke my heart a month ago when I saw TSA very nastily taking away the shaving gel of a guy (teenager still) in full dress headed to deployment. His parent had walked him to the security gate each holding a hand. DH and I tracked down shaving gel inside the terminal and then walked all over the airport until we found the guy. Wasn't an inconvenience for us at all. Really, nothing for the military is an inconvenience for me.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:c2d8bdcd-2087-4297-87e5-331427b009c1">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man issues : No one is attacking; you put your problems and issues out there on the Internet for all to see. If you didn't want feedback, why did you post? Also, speak for yourself. I have a job; I'm a teacher. A perk of that job is getting summers off. But way to make an assumption.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

A perk of my job - some days are slow.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:64e51f37-548e-4b7c-928c-6dcea9fa688a">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I n Response to Re: Best Man issues : Love. Love. Love. I so wanted to respond like this but having a husband who is a civilian contractor for the army and him working out of McGuire-Lakehurst-Dix wasn't enough to let me write this. The first thing I think of when I see military families is that my worries and problems are nothing compared to what so many of these people are going through. It broke my heart a month ago <strong>when I saw TSA very nastily taking away the shaving gel of a guy (teenager still) in full dress headed to deployment.</strong> His parent had walked him to the security gate each holding a hand. DH and I tracked down shaving gel inside the terminal and then walked all over the airport until we found the guy. Wasn't an inconvenience for us at all. Really, nothing for the military is an inconvenience for me.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

That TSA person is a douche canoe. I understand there are rules but really? I feel the same way when they thoroughly search old people in wheelchairs.

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man issues : A perk of my job - some days are slow.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

Same here!

renegade gaucho · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4306e572-4449-4514-9787-341798c90be2Post:9ae0e3c5-f0b4-4954-9279-e6ccebc6c724">Re: Best Man issues</a>:
[QUOTE]glad no one has a job or anything and can just attack and troll the internet all day. Awesome for you!
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

And yet you came here to ask all of us internet losers for advice.

Continue being a douche to your friends! Awesome for you!

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

GLB-I would have done the same thing in that situation (re: the airport). And probably would have cried seeing his parents escort him to security while holding his hands. How sweet/sad.

Best Man issues

Re: Best Man issues

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