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Can I have two maids of honor??

danidujakovichdanidujakovich
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I can't make up my mind!! I have two best friends who I am equally close with who both want to be my MOH. Friend #1 is really responsible, organized, and I know she will take care of everything in a timely manner and I won't have to stress. She even said that if I end up picking friend #2 that she will try and help out as much as she can. Friend #2 is more like a sister to me. We've been best friends for 10 years and I love her to death.. BUT she is soooo unorganized, procrastinates on everything and is not really MOH material. I know the answer is obvious, that I should pick friend #1. But I just don't know if I can leave friend #2 out. Her feelings would be so hurt, and it would really affect our friendship. Can I have both of them???  
(fiance can't make up his mind either, so maybe we could both have two?)
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Re: Can I have two maids of honor??

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2009
    It's fine to have two.  If you have two best friends, that's fine. 

    Get the idea that your MOH is responsible for planning your wedding out of your head right now.  She's not.  You and your FI are.  Her only requirements are to get a dress and show up; anything else is optional.  You shouldn't ask someone because of what they can do for you, but because of how you feel about them.
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  • emilykathleen511emilykathleen511
    First Comment First Anniversary
    If you have two best friends, you should have two MsOH. You should not give a single thought as to who would help you out more. You should base this decision on who you are closest to. If you are equally close to both, you should ask both. IF they offer to help, you can tell them how they can help you. If not, just plan with your FI...it's you and FI's wedding after all.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    First Comment
    I have a Maid of Honor (little sis) and a Matron of Honor (big sis) and no other attendants. THis is perfectly acceptable, even if they are both Maids of Honor.
    FWIW, neither of my MsOH are planning anything, even though they have both offerred to do whatever needs to be done.
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  • bridezilla942010bridezilla942010 member
    First Comment
    I don't see why not! It's ur wedding. Do what you want! :D
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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2009
    Anyone else thinking that bridezilla....(poster above me) and brimclod are the same poster?  Same wedding date, same region, same naive attitude...not to mention that the poster above me joined TODAY and brim just attempted an apology?
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    It crossed my mind.  I'm guessing the holidays are leaving some really sad people really bored right now.  There are a ton of trolls running around!

    BTW, could you shrink your siggy a little?  It's huge on my screen.
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  • brimcleodbrimcleod
    First Comment
    that's not me...?? i'm confused. haha.
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  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    its all ok, it may take a while for some to think that you are sincere and honest.Their is just alot of this kind of stuff and its really hard to know if someone is "A Troll"  Its all good just laugh and shrug it off. 
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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    My Name is - how do I make the inner bride smaller?  If I have to take it out of my siggy, I will, but I can't figure out how to shrink it.  I've tried setting the pixel number to smaller size but it's not working.
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    You made my wedding day complete.
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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    First Comment
    Danid, it's perfectly fine to have 2 maids of honor. 

    What is NOT perfectly fine is picking people based on how well they are organized. Pick people you're close to, not those that can do more stuff for you. It's your wedding (and your FI) so the two of you are in charge of planning, not your maids.
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  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Just call them both BMs - you don't have to rank them.  I had three girls and they were all BMs; no one was called the MOH.  If they ask who's who, just say you love them both and saw no reason to give one a "higher title."  Good luck ;)
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  • danidujakovichdanidujakovich
    First Comment
    just to clarify.. I'm not expecting either to PLAN my wedding, i never said that. My MOHs will have some responsibilities other than just getting a dress and showing up.
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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    First Comment
    [QUOTE] My MOHs will have some responsibilities other than just getting a dress and showing up.
    Posted by danidujakovich[/QUOTE]
    This is what everyone's talking about. What responsibilities are you talking about?
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:492cb4e8-7e81-4589-9d48-997f85eaa0d0Post:8aef490a-347b-48b6-8bf9-9d9d0915cadc">Re: Can I have two maids of honor??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just call them both BMs - you don't have to rank them.  I had three girls and they were all BMs; no one was called the MOH.  If they ask who's who, just say you love them both and saw no reason to give one a "higher title."  Good luck ;)
    Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

    <div>This! I'm just having 2 BMs. Sweet and simple. </div>
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:492cb4e8-7e81-4589-9d48-997f85eaa0d0Post:1ef872a7-649f-4af7-bf4d-5f04a438cccf">Re: Can I have two maids of honor??</a>:
    [QUOTE]just to clarify.. I'm not expecting either to PLAN my wedding, i never said that. My MOHs will have some responsibilities other than just getting a dress and showing up.
    Posted by danidujakovich[/QUOTE]

    They don't though.  That's what the ladies are trying to say.

    If THEY want additional responsibilities it's great but those responsibilities aren't for you to give them.

    If you want two MsOH go for it!
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  • I-am-meI-am-me
    First Comment
    I think having 2 maids of honor or none at all are both perfectly acceptable options. I'm not sure how many bridesmaids you're having - are these the only two? If it's just these 2 girls then calling them both MOH or both BM is fine (and it doesn't make much difference which). The only thing would make me hesitate is if you have like 3 bridesmaids total, and you want to make 2 of them MOH. Depending on the circumstances that could be a bit of a slap to the third.
    I have 2 best friends JUST like the two you've described, plus a sister, and I'm having such a hard time choosing! I may end up just having all of them be bridesmaids. I also have 2 other BMs, one is fi's sister and the other is the 12-yr-old sister of the disorganized best friend.
    Good luck!! And know that you aren't alone in having this dilemma lol!
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  • snoangel79snoangel79
    First Comment
    I'm having my two sisters, they are younger (18 and 20) so I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, although the other bridesmaids know that they are picking up the slack for the younger ones and that's fine with them.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:492cb4e8-7e81-4589-9d48-997f85eaa0d0Post:1ef872a7-649f-4af7-bf4d-5f04a438cccf">Re: Can I have two maids of honor??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My MOHs will have some responsibilities other than just getting a dress and showing up.
    Posted by danidujakovich[/QUOTE]

    That's not ok.  The only thing they have to do is get the dress and show up.  Anything else they choose to do is optional, and a gift to you.  It is inappropriate to expect it.

    Thus, their level of organization or ability to help is irrelevant.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_can-two-maids-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:492cb4e8-7e81-4589-9d48-997f85eaa0d0Post:1a5a6bb4-27a4-41b3-b85b-a513e9fb3b72">Re: Can I have two maids of honor??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Name is - how do I make the inner bride smaller? Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, I just saw this, and I see you took it out.  If you want to put it back, try this <*img src="<a href="http://tinyurl.com/y8can3b">TINY</a>URL" width="200"*>

    You can take out the *s and switch out the tinyurl with your own.  Play with the number to change the size. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Just remember that while they may have volunteered to host the bachlelorette, it's still not a 'responsibility' that you discuss with them.  That's a gift that they're giving you.

    Instead, focus on why you asked these people to be involved in the first place and enjoy your bridal party for the lovely women that they are.
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