FAQ on wedding invitation packet

GabyRangel · March 2010

So, I am making the invitations myself, and the RSVP cards and everything. There are some things I wanted to make clear to the guests, like:

-Children are not invited
-There will be no alcohol
-Alcohol cannot be brought to the reception as it is not allowed by the venue
-The security guards will be having a list of guests to check at the entrance
-What time will the food be served (the venue has a very specific time frame)

Among other things...

I had read in many posts that couples are listing these on their wedding sites, but I believe only less than 25% of the guests are computer literate. Is it ok to send this FAQ with the invitation envelope? I can't be calling people to tell them this, as most of the live in a different country from where wedding will take place.

What are your thoughts? Suggestions?

shannonalise · March 2010

One thought is this: don't put anything in there in the format of a FAQ... That seems over the top and off-putting. Especially since they aren't actually questions you've been asked frequently, but just information you'd like to share.

I'll think of some tactful ways to convey this information, but here's what I have for now:

-Children are not invited
So don't include them on the invitation. You can always make your response cards specific to the individuals invited to the wedding. A line with names already included.

-There will be no alcohol
Ehh.. Not sure about this one. But if people can't drink there, and can't bring alcohol with them, I'm not sure what telling them ahead of time will do. It's not like there's anything they can change one way or another, or anything they need to do to plan for this. Unless this may be an attendance deal-breaker for some - those you probably wouldn't want there anyway.

-Alcohol cannot be brought to the reception as it is not allowed by the venue
I'm not sure you even need to say this. Any other knotties have advice here?

-The security guards will be having a list of guests to check at the entrance
Are you worried you'll have crashers? I would hope that people wouldn't show up with people who were not invited, and didn't include meal information with the response cards. If they do, let them deal with it at the door. I can't think of a non-biitchy way of putting this information in with invitations.

-What time will the food be served (the venue has a very specific time frame)
Can't you include this information on the card you would include that details the reception information? You could say something like, "Dinner will be served promptly at such and such."

Good luck!

jajph1974 · March 2010

Honestly, it sounds more like a list of 3rd grade classroom rules than a wedding invite.

lauralaur · March 2010

Re: children not invited, address the invites to the adults and the adults only. If someone adds their little one to the RSVP card call them and tell them they've misunderstood, the little one isn't invited.

Re: dry reception, that I might stick at the bottom of the reception card if you are using one. I'm not sure what the best wording would be, but I wouldn't mind getting a heads up on that one in the invite. Either word it such that the wedding is dry due to the venue's policies or spread the venue's policies around by word of mouth.

Re: the security guards, I wouldn't announce that on the invite. However, will people need to bring the invite to get in? If yes, I would stick that on the reception card. Otherwise, I'd leave it off.

Re: food service timing, I'd leave it off. Generally, the staff at the venue will ask people to be seated when dinner is going to be served, so I wouldn't worry about that.

That's all I got.

shannonalise · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:49df7f64-d8f0-441f-bfc1-0f13dc59752a">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, it sounds more like a list of 3rd grade classroom rules than a wedding invite.
Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it really does sound like a lot of off-putting information.

Pink7781 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:00af3715-6fc5-43b9-aeb2-3af6db1bb8c5">FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I am making the invitations myself, and the RSVP cards and everything. There are some things I wanted to make clear to the guests, like: -Children are not invited -There will be no alcohol -Alcohol cannot be brought to the reception as it is not allowed by the venue -The security guards will be having a list of guests to check at the entrance -What time will the food be served (the venue has a very specific time frame) Among other things... I had read in many posts that couples are listing these on their wedding sites, but I believe only less than 25% of the guests are computer literate. Is it ok to send this FAQ with the invitation envelope? I can't be calling people to tell them this, as most of the live in a different country from where wedding will take place. What are your thoughts? Suggestions?
Posted by GabyRangel[/QUOTE]

I'm unclear why you need to include all these specifications in your invitation. Address the invite to the people you are inviting. If you are not inviting children do not put their names on the invitation. People should get it. If you really want to make sure right the invited person's names on the response card.

I would spread word of your dry reception by word of mouth although I think this is rude to your guests (unless they all do not drink). Why do you need to put the time that food is being served in the invitation? Won't they be able to tell when the food is being served when they are there? I'm not sure of the reasons you need to have a security guard but I definitely would not include this in the invitation.

shellydiane820 · March 2010

No laughing, no smiling, no having fun, no direct eye contact with the couple.

jajph1974 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:65372bf8-330e-4e5d-92dd-8eb13c52062d">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]No laughing, no smiling, no having fun, no direct eye contact with the couple.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

That's exactly how it comes off.

kd.joseph · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:65372bf8-330e-4e5d-92dd-8eb13c52062d">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]No laughing, no smiling, no having fun, no direct eye contact with the couple.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]
Hehe

mwhitson14 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:00af3715-6fc5-43b9-aeb2-3af6db1bb8c5">FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I am making the invitations myself, and the RSVP cards and everything. There are some things I wanted to make clear to the guests, like: -Children are not invited <strong>this has been answered, but just to reiterate: address the envelope and even the RSVP to the adults only by name</strong>-There will be no alcohol <strong>I didn't say anything about that on my invites, and I'm not sure why you feel the need to say something about it</strong>-Alcohol cannot be brought to the reception as it is not allowed by the venue <strong>Again, not sure why you want guests to know this. It isn't your concern to babysit your guests; I'm sure your venue will not be spot checking people, and if they see them with it, surely they will just remind them alcohol is not allowed, and if it happens again, they'll be escorted out. I think this is more your venue's responsibility than yours.</strong>-The security guards will be having a list of guests to check at the entrance <strong>Sorry to sound like a broken record, but why is this happening and why do you feel like guests need to know this? Unless they need their invite with them, then it doesn't really affect them til they get there</strong>-What time will the food be served (the venue has a very specific time frame) <strong>At the bottom of your invite, you could say something about dinner will be served at X time. But again, this should be a venue concern, not yours. </strong>Among other things... I had read in many posts that couples are listing these on their wedding sites, but I believe only less than 25% of the guests are computer literate. Is it ok to send this FAQ with the invitation envelope? I can't be calling people to tell them this, as most of the live in a different country from where wedding will take place. What are your thoughts? Suggestions?
Posted by GabyRangel[/QUOTE]

You're hardcore overthinking this.

GabyRangel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:65372bf8-330e-4e5d-92dd-8eb13c52062d">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]No laughing, no smiling, no having fun, no direct eye contact with the couple.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

Believe me, I would LOVE to put that there too. So before more people think I am being heartless bitch and/or picky, let me tell you a little bit of the reasons why I want to do this (remembers sweet sixteen):

First of all, I am not very social (or at all). I really didn't want a wedding but both his and my family are complaning about it because of traditions and "what people are going to say" and other reasons that mean nothing to me. I don't even have 100 people in the list, and about 3/4 of the list aren't even people I like/would invite. Reasons? Here is the list of what happened in my sweet sixteen with the same people in the list:

-There is this group of guys (husbands of my mom's coworkers) who as soon as they saw there was no alcohol in my sweet sixteen, decided it was a good idea to each bring their own six-pack of beer, stand outside the venue and call the incoming guests names. Needless to say someone called the cops and my parents spent quite some time outside trying to fix this.

-My dad had to fix the guest restroom as the kids in the party decided it was fun to cut the water hoses of the sink, and dump the hand towels inside the toilet.

-We are paying for our wedding, and our budget is no more than $5000, most of which we spent in the venue and food. The sweet sixteen ended up with people I have never seen in my life who were not even invited but were friends of the friends of the people I invited.

-In the same topic of the food, we had people come in a couple of hours before the end of the sweet sixteen and leave right away, upset and making a scene because the food had been served three hours ago and the vendor had left.

Among other horrible things. This wedding planning has been a total nightmare trying to please everyone. Making sure my wedding reception is not a repeat of the other receptions I have been with these people is very important to me.

GabyRangel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:49df7f64-d8f0-441f-bfc1-0f13dc59752a">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, it sounds more like a list of 3rd grade classroom rules than a wedding invite.
Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]

LOL! Maybe because I used to be a teacher...

AmoroAgain · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:09597dc7-1808-4434-a288-00634049ec0c">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet : Believe me, I would LOVE to put that there too. So before more people think I am being heartless bitch and/or picky, let me tell you a little bit of the reasons why I want to do this (remembers sweet sixteen): First of all, I am not very social (or at all). I really didn't want a wedding but both his and my family are complaning about it because of traditions and "what people are going to say" and other reasons that mean nothing to me. I don't even have 100 people in the list, and about 3/4 of the list aren't even people I like/would invite. Reasons? Here is the list of what happened in my sweet sixteen with the same people in the list: -There is this group of guys (husbands of my mom's coworkers) who as soon as they saw there was no alcohol in my sweet sixteen, decided it was a good idea to each bring their own six-pack of beer, stand outside the venue and call the incoming guests names. Needless to say someone called the cops and my parents spent quite some time outside trying to fix this. -My dad had to fix the guest restroom as the kids in the party decided it was fun to cut the water hoses of the sink, and dump the hand towels inside the toilet. -We are paying for our wedding, and our budget is no more than $5000, most of which we spent in the venue and food. The sweet sixteen ended up with people I have never seen in my life who were not even invited but were friends of the friends of the people I invited. -In the same topic of the food, we had people come in a couple of hours before the end of the sweet sixteen and leave right away, upset and making a scene because the food had been served three hours ago and the vendor had left. Among other horrible things. This wedding planning has been a total nightmare trying to please everyone. Making sure my wedding reception is not a repeat of the other receptions I have been with these people is very important to me.
Posted by GabyRangel[/QUOTE]

Dude, you are NOT 16 anymore (I hope) and ffs, people don't always do that crap. WTH.You have serious issues.

shellydiane820 · March 2010

Well if you don't want people to come to the wedding, just put that exact list in your invite, and I guarantee no one will be there.

Nebb · March 2010

Uhhuh... well im sorry (not really) to say it but you just sound like an asshole. Please feel free to send the list of everything your guests cant do, you will succeed in supporting why people think brides become bridezillas.

kd.joseph · March 2010

Are you still 16? I mean really a sweet sixteen is not a wedding. And who are these people your mother is associating with, if I was your mother I would have kicked their a$$es myself don't bother the cops.
Really just elope. Or quite overthinking this. I would hope these aren't teenagers that know proper behavior at a wedding.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Maybe you could just get married at a prision. It would kind of be like the same thing.

lauralaur · March 2010

People who show up late and b!tch because they missed dinner only have themselves to blame for being douchey and showing up so late. That's their fault for being rude, nothing you can do about them being rude like that so I'd let it go.

GabyRangel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:ec0ddb53-3ea5-4ec2-a6f6-4bdf1fc85c5f">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet : Dude, you are NOT 16 anymore (I hope) and ffs, people don't always do that crap. WTH.You have serious issues.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

I am definetly not 16; nowhere near it, actually. Don't know what ffs means, and you should really meet my family. Though I don't see how this post is a suggestion. Sounds more like you have personal issues against people like me (with other issues different than yours).

Anyway, people asked why I was worried about and listed why. I like the RSVP idea, and the fact that I don't have to worry about the alcohol since the venue should be responsible for it, as well as the food issue. Thank you for those suggestions.

carrieoz_76 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:e994ba02-72de-4e74-8c62-3d72dfc8e2e4">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, it really does sound like a lot of off-putting information.
Posted by shannonalise[/QUOTE]
It sounds like no fun!<div>
</div><div>We'd probably decline.</div>

kd.joseph · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:85215d9c-e6bb-4a5a-ab84-66f3da661075">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet : I am definetly not 16; nowhere near it, actually. Don't know what ffs means, and you should really meet my family. Though I don't see how this post is a suggestion. Sounds more like you have personal issues against people like me (with other issues different than yours). Posted by GabyRangel[/QUOTE]

I think Nebb has a problem with people who think that their wedding is going to be like your sweet 16. Most people know how to act at weddings. If your associating with people that dont, dont invite them.Save yourself the trouble.
Your overthinking this. People grow up you know.

shannonalise · March 2010

Wow. Just relax. How old are you? Unless you're still sixteen, let that go, however traumatizing (and it clearly was) it was for you. If you don't want a wedding, don't have one. If I didn't want a wedding, I would give two shiits about what others say about it. Seriously, just elope.

GabyRangel · March 2010

Oh wow! I've gotten more insults than advice. This is obviously a poorly ran forum. Anyway, I think I got my answers. For those of you who took the time to provide constructive suggestions, thank you so very much! Those who enjoyed insulting people online just because they can -as apparently you are perfect, thank you too because you just reminded me why I dislike social gatherings. I could swear you were the ones who attended my sweet sixteen! LOL!

This was the shortest stay I've had in a social network.

shannonalise · March 2010

FFS: For fuucks sake

< -- the face is included, always.

kd.joseph · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:844c4267-2183-4d45-a406-d48253412b48">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. Just relax. How old are you? Unless you're still sixteen, let that go, however traumatizing (and it clearly was) it was for you. If you don't want a wedding, don't have one. If I didn't want a wedding, I would give two shiits about what others say about it. Seriously, just elope.
Posted by shannonalise[/QUOTE]

Ditto!
And Shannonalise I didnt realize we are date twins.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Well, at least you didn't call it a blog.

shannonalise · March 2010

GBCK already?

Nebb · March 2010

No, your idea is just possibly one of the shittiest ive heard of. Nice knowing you though!

shannonalise · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:c3473f9b-6355-4792-994c-b2a7462eba03">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet : Ditto! And Shannonalise I didnt realize we are date twins.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

We are date twins! How cool! I just noticed that as well. How's the planning coming along? I feel like such a slacker! So much to do! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

Mrs.B6302007 · March 2010

You do seem pretty uptight, OP. Weddings and receptions are lots of fun. Give your guests some credit that they won't treat your wedding like a frat party.

shannonalise · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_faq-wedding-invitation-packet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f824b6da-0dbb-4d74-bf85-f70bbff302ebPost:fad7f869-3d1e-48ab-9e59-fc2e2dea76e1">Re: FAQ on wedding invitation packet</a>:
[QUOTE]No, your idea is just possibly one of the shittiest ive heard of. Nice knowing you though!
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Haha! I LOL'd.

FAQ on wedding invitation packet

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