ALCOHOL?

kl33909 · March 2010

HI THERE! I NEED EVERYONE'S ADVICE!!! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED AT A VERY NICE RESORT ON THE BEACH AND HAVING FAMILY ONLY AND 2 OF MY VERY CLOSE CO-WORKERS. WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT ALCOHOL? IT'S EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE AT THIS RESORT. WORST OF ALL ITS ALL FAMILY AND MOST DON'T DRINK OR VERY LITTLE AND YOU MUST PAY A FEE IF THEY DON'T MAKE SO MUCH PER HOUR!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO??? ANY IDEAS??? WE COULD DO CASH BAR BUT WHAT IF THEY DON'T BUY ENOUGH AND THENNN WE'RE CHARGED $75 EACH HOUR!!!! I WONDER IF I CAN ASK THEM IF I CAN HAVE AN UNHOSTED BAR OR DESIGNATE A TABLE WITH BEER AND WINE WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE SERVE IT. CANNOT BRING ANY OUTSIDE ALCOHOL IN OF COURSE THEY WOULDN'T MAKE MONEY THEN HELPPPPP

Lasairiona · March 2010

If you can't afford to serve the resort's prices for alcohol, then you don't serve it, period. Guests should never under any circumstances whatsoever be asked or required to open their wallets for anything once they arrive at the wedding. If it's that expensive, find a different venue that you can afford or else postpone the wedding until you can afford it. If most don't drink anyway, just tell the resort that you don't want the alcohol and ask if they can switch it out for something else that you do want and can afford (an additional appetizer or entree choice for example).

gottahavashorti · March 2010

Since your family doesn't really drink, just have a dry wedding. It doesn't really sound like your guests will miss it since you're concerned about meeting venue minimums.

amagwire · March 2010

Don't have alcohol at all if you can't afford it.

I'd also consider not posting in all caps. It's really hard to read.

lyndausvi · March 2010

first of all stop yelling.

The resort knows its only a few people, so try and negotiate with them to a lower or just plan remove the fee. Is there a bar close by, see if they could just get drinks from that bar to put onto your bill. That way they do not have to hire a bartender to serve such a small amout of people. That seems like the easiest thing to do.

Even so if I was invited to a small DW at a very expensive venue I would give a side eye to no or cash bar. The price of a few drinks or even the fee of a few hundred dollars seems like peanuts compared to your overall costs.

Mrs.B6302007 · March 2010

FAQ link below

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

First, stop yelling.

Talk to the venue and find out if you can do a consumption bar or just put a couple of bottles of wine on the tables. You cannot charge your guests, that's incredibly rude. Either negotiate it down to something you can afford or have a dry reception.

Catwoman708 · March 2010

You're not required to have alcohol.

I'd suggest either no alcohol, or limited alcohol. Such as champagne only, a bottle of wine per table (serves 4-6 glasses per bottle), or something like champagne or sangria punch.

banana468 · March 2010

Are you having a destination wedding and considering asking your guests to pay for their alcohol?? Really?

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

She's from Florida. It's entirely possible that a resort is local.

elektrik273 · March 2010

Ok, first of all having a cash bar isn't even remotely rude. I live in MA and maybe it's a regional thing, but I've NEVER been to a wedding that had a cash bar the whole night and I've NEVER heard people complain afterwards. Not only is having a cash bar expensive, but things can get out of hand when people are allowed to drink as much as they want for free--they definitely drink more when it's for free. I think though that if your family doesn't really drink, then I would either have a dry wedding or do bottles of wine at each table. The sangria idea was good as well...maybe you could have like a punch station set up (but with sangria instead of punch obviously).

Lasairiona · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f4838558-3ccd-4906-afe4-be60cbb20db7Post:d730ac20-5c59-4b35-a93f-4ac5b85e5fe0">Re: ALCOHOL?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, first of all having a cash bar isn't even remotely rude. I live in MA and maybe it's a regional thing, but I've NEVER been to a wedding that had a cash bar the whole night and I've NEVER heard people complain afterwards. Not only is having a cash bar expensive, but things can get out of hand when people are allowed to drink as much as they want for free--they definitely drink more when it's for free. I think though that if your family doesn't really drink, then I would either have a dry wedding or do bottles of wine at each table. The sangria idea was good as well...maybe you could have like a punch station set up (but with sangria instead of punch obviously).
Posted by elektrik273[/QUOTE]
Open any etiquette book and you will see that it is rude. A proper host never charges guests for anything at a party they are hosting. You don't charge people to eat/drink/dance in your own home so you don't do it anywhere else. Your region is moot and does not change the fact that it is rude. Same goes for culture. Just because some people do certain activities and don't see anything wrong wtih them doesn't change the fact that they are rude *no matter where you go*.Paying for your own drinks doesn't stop people from drinking. Look at any local bar and see that that logic has gone out the window.

elektrik273 · April 2010

I think it's interesting that just because I won't give my guests free alcohol you assume I'm a rude person in general...says a lot about your character.

lyndausvi · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f4838558-3ccd-4906-afe4-be60cbb20db7Post:32f6acde-30bb-4d60-8b6f-173621f9a927">Re: ALCOHOL?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, don't ever come to the northeast because you would be completely appalled by most of us!
Posted by elektrik273[/QUOTE]

Umm... I've NEVER been to a wedding that had a cash bar and I've been to say 40+ weddings. Oh and my family is not rich either, they just know not to pick a venue where they can not afford both food and alcohol.

disclaimer - my family always has food and alcohol at any and all functions.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

If most of the weddings that you attend are dry, then no, your guests won't find it rude not to offer alcohol. If most of the weddings that you attend have some sort of alcohol, then people will find a dry wedding rude, especially if it's clear that you spent a bunch of money in other areas but cut back on the bar.

But cash bar is rude regardless. You don't ask your guests to help finance a party you're throwing for them.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

I don't think it is region that constitutes things as being tacky or rude, I think it is the social circles of people.

ALCOHOL?

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