Which toaster do I give her?

hoffse · August 2012

So there was a thread similar to this on R&G the other day, but I had to ask here since it's a more active board.

I received a shower invitation, and I'm attending because it's in my hometown, and I'll have a chance to see my parents. I'm looking at her registry, and it's literally the longest I've ever seen. Ever. And I'm from the south, and we do long registries down here since most people give physical gifts for both the shower and the wedding.

Here's the issue: she has duplicates of everything. And I mean everything... all the way down to her measuring cups and spoons and bag clips (did you know BBB sells multiple types of bag clips?)... I showed FI this the other night because I have no idea which measuring spoon/cup set she wants, etc., and he actually counted. This chick has more than 1500 items listed. Also, her colors are all random, so I can't figure out what color scheme she's going for here... So like, she has sets of le creuset cast iron pots/pans in red, purple, that smokey teal color, and orange. And then she has kitchen towels in black and yellow. wtf. She also has 2 complete sets of sterling silverware - which don't match each other - and 3 everyday sets of flatware. And did I mention the 3 different FORMAL china patterns, none of which coordinate with one another?

So my quesiton is: what do you give a person like this for her shower? I'm tempted to just pick something off the list at random, but it really bugs me because I know she just went crazy with the scan gun and didn't think about this at all. I want to give the couple gifts they actually appreciate... So I'm curious what you would do?

mizutamababy · August 2012

It would make me wonder if they really went crazy with the scan gun, or are just banking on returning some items for cash afterwards.

In that situation I'd usually just give cash, though. If you want to get a physical item, why not pick out the one(s) you would most want to give. Or try calling a friend/relative closer to the bride that might know what her top picks on the list are.

Megbo2012 · August 2012

I would not give cash for a shower, ever. The point is physical gifts.

Since it looks like she is going to return everything anyways I wouldn't waste my time trying to pick something meaningful out. I'd pick at random.

The only other thing I can think is that maybe she couldn't decide and was going to edit the registry, but forgot.

hoffse · August 2012

Interesting... can you even return for cash at BBB? I thought it was only store credit (though admittedly, I've never returned something there that somebody else bought for me)?

Megbo2012 · August 2012

I don't know about BBB. If you have a receipt I'm sure you can return for cash.

You can always get her something off her registry you think she would like.

Avion22 · August 2012

I'm pretty sure if it's off your registry, or if you have a gift receipt, you can only return for store credit.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

1500 items?!?!?!?!

Good grief, I struggled to get our list to 150, which is what Macy's encouraged us to have for our list.

jjswin · August 2012

I would just give her a gift card to BBB and let her pick something she wanted and did not get or put it towards a large item.

MyUserName1 · August 2012

I would absolutely not give cash or a gift card for a shower. Ever. I can not imagine a circumstance where that would be appropriate.

I'd just pick the thing on the registry in my price range that I liked best and tape the gift receipt to the box before wrapping, Hoffse.

J&K10910 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_which-toaster-do-i-give-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14fd465d-f781-44fb-b107-73bdf794a06cPost:1824cb0b-b161-41d2-b53b-bd7c51dac56b">Re: Which toaster do I give her?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would absolutely not give cash or a gift card for a shower. Ever. I can not imagine a circumstance where that would be appropriate. I'd just pick the thing on the registry in my price range that I liked best and tape the gift receipt to the box before wrapping, Hoffse.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

This is what I would do.

LeiselEB · August 2012

I know a girl who did this, too! It was so aggravating. Her plan was to return any duplicates for cash. It was weird. I just picked something I liked in my price range and gave her the gift receipt. I wouldn't worry too much about it, and just buy whatever you like.

angryangry · August 2012

I would buy an item that can stand alone (like a vase) rather than something like china setting (what I normally buy) that the set is completed by many people. Also, a vase would theoretically match with whatever color scheme she ends up using, assuming it's a clear vase.

smartlypretty · August 2012

That's odd...

I had some crazy on my registry, but I certainly had it all sorted out by the time shower invites went out. This just smells like a gift grab to me/wanting to return everything.

bluedragonfly22 · August 2012

Oh my goodness, how did she manage? I don't think I even have a 100 items on my list yet lol.

Go for something that's in your price range and would love to give.

m tulli · August 2012

My SIL did this. I thought she screwed up. But she did it to give people options. seriously drove me nuts. I didn't get it. I would just buy something in your price range. Like others said attach the gift receipt.

mizutamababy · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_which-toaster-do-i-give-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14fd465d-f781-44fb-b107-73bdf794a06cPost:c0a5b389-7447-40c2-940e-deb8714f7ee0">Re: Which toaster do I give her?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure if it's off your registry, or if you have a gift receipt, you can only return for store credit.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

I don't know about BB&B, but that's not true for every store. Usually if you have a gift receipt and the item is unopened you can return for cash. At least I had no problems getting cash back for some duplicate Christmas items in the past with a gift receipt.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_which-toaster-do-i-give-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14fd465d-f781-44fb-b107-73bdf794a06cPost:1824cb0b-b161-41d2-b53b-bd7c51dac56b">Re: Which toaster do I give her?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would absolutely not give cash or a gift card for a shower. Ever. I can not imagine a circumstance where that would be appropriate. I'd just pick the thing on the registry in my price range that I liked best and tape the gift receipt to the box before wrapping, Hoffse.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

As long as the bride isn't demanding a "cash and gift card shower" I don't see what's tacky about it, TBH. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's tacky. Either way looks like this bride is going to be returning whatever OP picks out anyways so does it really matter?

emeejeeayen · August 2012

I think it's likely she just went through the website and picked everything she sort of liked so that people buying gifts coud buy something they liked (and knew she at least sort of liked). But that's stupid annoying. Just pick whatever you like best from her registry and let her deal with returns. God knows she'll have to make a few trips.

hoffse · August 2012

Lol we solved it by me scrolling through the list until FI said "stop!" sort of like those games you used to play in elementary school. Then we picked something in our price range that was on the screen. She is getting pillowcases.

I'll be honest I'm glad I saw this - I am a fan of lots of options, but that was sort of nuts. It actually inspired FI and I to take 4 or 5 things off of our list that we were sort of "meh" about - we were originally going to keep it only to things we would have bought regardless, but our guest list got too big. So now we're going back through and making sure we love/are excited about every single gift and that there are no obvious duplicates. We do have a couple sets of mixing bowls and measuring spoons, because like PP mentioned they are used for different things. But we don't have 6 sets of measuring spoons, 3 of which are plastic and 3 of which are stainless, KWIM?

MyUserName1 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_which-toaster-do-i-give-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:14fd465d-f781-44fb-b107-73bdf794a06cPost:91584593-f2d6-4ed7-8110-25697395af8c">Re: Which toaster do I give her?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Which toaster do I give her? : I don't know about BB&B, but that's not true for every store. Usually if you have a gift receipt and the item is unopened you can return for cash. At least I had no problems getting cash back for some duplicate Christmas items in the past with a gift receipt. In Response to Re: Which toaster do I give her? : As long as the bride isn't demanding a "cash and gift card shower" I don't see what's tacky about it, TBH. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean it's tacky. Either way looks like this bride is going to be returning whatever OP picks out anyways so does it really matter?
Posted by mizutamababy[/QUOTE]

I didn't use the word "tacky," you did. I said it isn't appropriate. A shower is for physical gifts, so a gift card or cash is not appropriate.

Which toaster do I give her?

Re: Which toaster do I give her?

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