I'm sorry this is long, but in order to get real responces, I can not hold back any details. it would not be whole truth if I did.
My FI's sister in law was not getting along with my mom. At the last minute, my mom found out about a conflicting batismal in the family that was for the same date as my shower. When she brought it up to my FI SIL (who was making the shower invites) that she'd have to change the date, my SIL got very up set. So upset that she felt she needed to back out of the planning of the shower. I found out later that she went as far as to delete the created files from her computer, and gave my mom nothing to work with. I was upset when I found this out, but I urged both women that they needed to talk, they need to resolve their issues.
Unfortunetly, (fiance's SIL) she's been having a difficult pregnancy, and was unsure if she would even be able to attend the wedding. The doctors keep telling her she could possible be put in bed rest. While me and my FI new this, we never thought of not haveing her in the WP, until she emailed me at work and told me I should replace her based on her health issues. We made a date for the four of us to meet and disscuss this, and when all was said and done, she seem okay with steping back and us replacing her. I was upset by all this bc it was only 3 months to my wedding. There was no way I could order another BM dress in time, and I felt the way things came out that she had been feeling this way for some time, but didn't want to speak up.
Only days go by and I start to hear through the grape-vine that "we kicked her out of the wedding, and then replace her out of no-where". Making me and my FI sound like the bad guys. That same weekend, my FI grandmother dedicated a chruch ceremony to her late husband. Not only were we ignored and snubbed during church, but she and my fi's brother left early to avoid us. When we confronted them that day, they said they didn't understand our decision. We reminded them that this all started with her email, and it was for the best for her & the baby's health. Theses were her words and she took her self out, not the other way around. Long story short, she end up not coming to my shower and we haven't talked since. Now I have to attend her baby shower this weekend and I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this drama.
It's almost one month away from my wedding, and from my understanding, her health condition hasn't got any better. She is still a high-risk pregnancy and still might miss my wedding. I feel bad that we replaced her, but I don't think I did anything wrong. She came to us, what was I suppose to do? What hurts the most after all of this is that we used to be very close, and i missed her at my shower. I fear that this whole drama will change how close my FI is to his brother, and that upsets me as well.