Advice Needed

Clare13 · February 2010

My mom's cousin just called her to let her know that she, her two sisters/husbands and children would not be coming to my wedding because they will be out of town. They have only recieved STDs as the wedding is not until June. My mom asked if they would still like an invitation and she said, "No, that is why I am calling you." Why my mom asked this I do not know. I'm under the impression that anyone who received a STD should still received an invitation. But, what do I do in this situation? They have specifically said they do not want one. I don't want to look gift grabby or offend anyone. Do I still send an invitation or just take them off the list?

LesaBear · February 2010

I wouldn't worry too much about the etiquette rules on this one. Maybe just send them a nice note that says you're sorry they can't make it.

iamjoesgurl · February 2010

I think I would include a note with the invite to acknowledge that they plan to be out of town, but that you wanted them to know that they are still invited should their plans change. I don't know how to make the comment about the gifts. Maybe someone else will have a suggestion. An invite is not a gift solicitation (IMO). Plenty of people who were at our wedding and who couldn't attend did not buy us a gift. However, some people may feel that it is an obligation once they receive the invite.

By the way, don't cross them off the guest list yet. Sometimes things change and if it is truly that they cannot attend due to their plans, it may end up that they can come after all.

sarah0725 · February 2010

I like the idea of sending the invitation and enclosing a note, just in case their plans change. You never know.

draco sky · February 2010

Send an invite with a note, like PPs suggested. They should still be invited regardless.

Liz4444 · February 2010

she was probably thinking that letting you know in advance would be helpful so that you could invite people who may not have been invited due to having to cut down the list or she is trying to save you money on the invitation.

i would send them a copy of one of your engagement pictures and tell them they will be missed.

sucrets4 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a7392b71-80c3-4679-a62e-f139f21c70d9Post:ff94b6c2-f894-4129-88e1-24896b040fc5">Re: Advice Needed</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of sending the invitation and enclosing a note, just in case their plans change. You never know.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

This.

Blueyed228 · February 2010

I think its nice she let you know that far in advance. Like PP said, she may have let you know so you could possible invite someone you didnt have room for. I would send the invite with the note. Dont mention anything about gifts or registrys.

aallenba · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a7392b71-80c3-4679-a62e-f139f21c70d9Post:ff94b6c2-f894-4129-88e1-24896b040fc5">Re: Advice Needed</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of sending the invitation and enclosing a note, just in case their plans change. You never know.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

This is what I did for a friend who I knew wouldn't make it (since she's having a baby right around the time of the wedding) and I also did it for my family members overseas and included my email address incase they were able to make the big trip.

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