Invites and Paper

Invitation wording dilemma

My future mother in law is adamant on adding my fiance's deceased father to our wedding invitations. She is not hosting our wedding, neither are my parents.
My mother has remarried and she would also like to add her and her husband's name to the wedding invitation. 
I would rather just write together with our families or something similar to that, but I don't want to have them angry with me. I know my mother will understand. But the future mother in law is stating this is tradition and it will upset her family and friends if we do not add the deceased name.  I have never met his father.
What should I do? 
If I do give in, how should the invitation be worded?

Re: Invitation wording dilemma

  • I'm going to assume that your mom and stepdad and your FMIL are the only parents involved in this invite - if that's wrong, let me know. This would be your most traditional wording that includes FI's dad:

    Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Stepdad
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride Middle Last
    to
    Groom Middle Last
    son of Mrs. FMIL and the late Mr. Groom's Dad
    date
    time
    Venue
    City, State

    That is the only place on the invite where groom's dad can be listed, and some people will frown upon having a deceased person on the invitation at all. 

    You could do it without listing any hosts at all:

    The pleasure of your company is requested 
    at the marriage of
    Bride Middle Last
    and
    Groom Middle Last
    etc. 
  • jmp2004jmp2004 member
    100 Comments
    edited May 2012
    If they are not hosting, i.e. not paying, then their names should not be on the invitation at all.  And for them to insist is rude.

    ETA: If you did give in, ditto PPs wording.
  • Are any of these people hosting or contributing to the wedding?

    If they're  not then just say, "We've decided that all of these names will be listedin the program."

    And then leave it at that.  Parents have a way of acting like children when they find out that they won't get their way.  It's a lovely experience.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    I would put my foot down unless it's also important to FI. If it is important to him go with what Leisel said.

    Lizzie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-dilemma-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:c552d09a-7faa-448f-b299-d6bfff953fc9Post:611b671c-228b-4fc7-8b0c-82a692194df4">Re: Invitation wording dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are any of these people hosting or contributing to the wedding? If they're  not then just say, "We've decided that all of these names will be listedin the program." And then leave it at that.  Parents have a way of acting like children when they find out that they won't get their way.  It's a lovely experience.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    This.
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