Am I a horrible sister??

Re: Am I a horrible sister??

• Karenofcourse member

  

  February 2012 edited February 2012

  First of all, you are absolutely correct that it should be nearest and dearest and you ARE NOT a horrible sister!!
  
  My oldest sister was MOH and the sister who is two years older and the one three years younger were not in my wedding.  We have very little in common and they wanted to be BM to show "how close we are."  We aren't and they weren't!!
  
  If they boycott the wedding, they are the ones who look foolish.  If they choose to do this, I would not get into any type of explanation with others  than "they choose not to attend."  Anything else  could make you look bad.
  
  My brother, who is one year older than me but really has very little in common, got married two years before me.  He has no friends (his wife felt she should be the only friend each should have.)  He asked my DH and it was really awkward.  My DH did not ask my brother to even be in our wedding.
  
  If you want to make them feel "included," have them watch over the gifts, guestbook or do a simple reading.
  
  Good luck!!

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• Hilraythebride member

  

  February 2012

  Persoanlly, to me it doesn't matter how close you are t your sisters, they are and will always be family so they should be in it.  This could be something you end up regretting later if your relationshis improve.

  
  

  My sister and I had never really been close and and she is my MOH.  That decision just seemed natural to me, I didn't even hesitate.  Also I really feel that this brought us closer and now we talk on the phone almost everyday.

  
  

  Also, something has happened with one of my BM and she is no longer able to be in the wedding, I am not sure about the other one so I am glad I picked family as my mom would NEVER allow her to back out!!

  "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"

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• morenachica110 member

  

  February 2012

  I totally agree with Karen and disagree with Hillary. Your Wp should be the people you are close to and want standing next to you when you get married (even if they may need to bow out for whatever reason). Thankfully I don't have sisters (neither does FI) so I can avoid that drama if we weren't close, but I have one brother and he has two. None of them are in the wedding. None of them are offended. I'd say if they want to be arses about it, then let them. Say you would love if they could be there, but if it's not convenient for them then you understand. I hate that people automatically get positions of honor just because you were bron into the family. I have a friend who is closer to me than most of my family. Therefore she'll be standing with me.

  
  

  Do what feels right to you. If you aren't close and have people who are closer, then that's fine. Your sisters need to put their big girl panties on.

  
  
  9-22-12
  http://rusticweddingsc.weebly.com/

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• KatoNorway

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-horrible-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:4dfac5c1-d1e0-4abf-8dbb-49e90982db81Post:5d3bf047-ded0-475b-937f-ce61acc53156">Re: Am I a horrible sister??</a>:
  [QUOTE]I totally agree with Karen and disagree with Hillary. Your Wp should be the people you are close to and want standing next to you when you get married (even if they may need to bow out for whatever reason). Thankfully I don't have sisters (neither does FI) so I can avoid that drama if we weren't close, but I have one brother and he has two. None of them are in the wedding. None of them are offended. I'd say if they want to be arses about it, then let them. Say you would love if they could be there, but if it's not convenient for them then you understand. I hate that people automatically get positions of honor just because you were bron into the family. I have a friend who is closer to me than most of my family. Therefore she'll be standing with me. Do what feels right to you. If you aren't close and have people who are closer, then that's fine. Your sisters need to put their big girl panties on.
  Posted by morenachica110[/QUOTE]
  THIS!

  

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• Heffalump member

  

  February 2012

  No, siblings don't have to be in the wedding.  No one has to.  You choose, period.

  �

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