Black Folks and Save the Dates

Re: Black Folks and Save the Dates

• lil01

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  IMO, STDs aren't as necessary as the invitation (regardless of race). However, they can be necessary for destination weddings & if majority of your guests are OOT.
  
  Majority of my family & friends never even heard of save-the-dates, especially the older ones. If I even said "STDs" instead of save-the-dates, they thought I was talking about a disease! 

  

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• JKeyes2011

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_black-folks-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:7350d552-9509-4fbc-a1f1-5573ddc87e83Post:19abc0fd-f2e2-457f-a3cf-952028dbcf7d">Re: Black Folks and Save the Dates</a>:
  [QUOTE]IMO, STDs aren't as necessary as the invitation (regardless of race). However, they can be necessary for destination weddings & if majority of your guests are OOT. Majority of my family & friends never even heard of save-the-dates, especially the older ones. <strong>If I even said "STDs" instead of save-the-dates, they thought I was talking about a disease! 
  </strong>Posted by lil01[/QUOTE]
  
  It took me the longest to figure out that STDs meant Save the Dates. I was like, why are there so many posts on these board about Sexual diseases...lol.

  
  

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• hisSparklett

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I don't think it is a black/white thing. I think it is just a matter of what people are exposed to.  I'm sure there are white people who don't have a clue as to what a save the date is just like not all black people feel the need to jump the broom at their wedding.

  

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• krimson19

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  i had heard of STD and seen a few out in the wild   since our wedding was on the quick side (8 wks from planning to wedding), i couldn't use them.  if i had more time, i still  think i wouldn't have used them.  it's just a preference thing. 

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• chavanola member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I don't think its a black/white thing--I think it's a matter of personal choice.  I'm a more chill/laid back person--I can not be bothered to send people update after update (also why I don't have a wedsite, its sounds like work I don't need to give myself). You get an invite, if you come, you come---if not, oh well. End of Story.  Do I know about save the dates, yes.  Would I think it's cute from someone else, probably.  Would it encourage me to plan/arrange that far out--probably not.  Would my mother have tried to coerce me into them if I had a longer engagement, of course. 
  
  On the Plus side though--if you're inviting people who might need more advance notice than 6-8 weeks to arrange time off, plan childcare, save..it might be helpful.  Also, I found that people in general are bad about responding to RSVPs--there was no color (or income/professional status) of people who do not RSVP on time.  The amount of grown folks I had to chase after was ridiculous.

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• JloveB

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I was going to send some out but didn't feel up to the trouble of mailing them so I did do one and sent it in an email form... but I made the template to where if I wanted to print it up on a 4x6 card to send to people I still could...I have these photos post-it paper that made it easy for people to stick the std anywhere they need to keep as a reminder...but like PP said..most people just are horrible at rsvping regardless of how much time you give them...so I didn't in more work into something people would disregard.
  
  
  
  

  

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• kiyamurph

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I also agree that it's not really a black/white thing and more of an exposure thing.  I can't really say that "black people don't care about STDs" because there have been plently of my black friends and family who've asked about them.  So it's more about what people are used to and what they've been exposed to.  I'm sending save the dates since I'm getting married on July 2, and with it being a holiday weekend I think it's necessary to get the word out before the invitations.
  
  RSVPs are a whole nother story though.  When it comes to blacks and RSVPs, I think it's more of a ghetto issue than a black/white issue.  Ghetto folks don't feel the need send back an RSVP and will just show up and wonder why they don't have a plate, while people who have common sense and decency will actually RSVP.

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• JloveB

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  well as far as rsvp goes...I know that persian nor black people will rsvp...I gonna have to call everyone...my FBIL refused to rsvp to FI cousin wedding last year and asked us if we were getting phones calls about not rsvping when FI explain to him that I put our response in the mail 2 days after we received it...it wasn't that he didn't plan on going to the wedding but persian like black people feel why rsvp if you know they are family and plan on showing up...

  

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• mahoganieyes

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  We did std and actually was quite a hit for some. One we wanted people to have access to our website, especially with "adults only", so people have enough time for a sitter. Also since we had 2 std(another problem) it was a nice keepsake with our pics for older relatives.

  
  
  
  
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