Pre-wedding Parties

Who should host my Bridal Shower?!?!

My wedding is in the hometown of my FI - none of my family members live nearby so they will all be OOT guests.  My FMIL has mentioned on numerous occasions that she wants to throw me a shower the weekend before our wedding.  There is no way any of my family can/would take an entire week off work to travel for a shower and a wedding.  Is it all right for her to host a shower for only her friends and family?  Even my mother wouldn't be able to make it.

Also, my sister, also my MOH mentioned how she wanted to throw a shower with my mother, but in order for our family to attend it would have to be just a few days before the wedding- I feel like this is just asking people to take extra time off work and buy extra presents.

How do I deal with these conflicting showers and my nagging feelings of asking for too much?!

*Cliff Notes*
My FMIL wants to throw a shower but my family can't attend, and my MOH also wants to throw a shower but only a few days before the wedding, asking OOT guests to come early with extra gifts.   What to do?

Re: Who should host my Bridal Shower?!?!

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Don't have the showers so close to your wedding. That would really be expecting alot from your guests. You could have two separate showers, in each town, just move them up a month or so, and keep them on the smaller, intimate side.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. The last thing you want to be doing a week before your wedding is going to a bridal shower. There's nothing wrong with having 2 bridal showers if there are guests in both areas. Just make sure your FMIL is coordinating with your MOH so the showers don't end up on the same date.
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks girls!  I guess I should add that I also live oot from our wedding venue, and that my family is spread across the country.  I don't think it's necessary for my FMIL to host a shower the week of the wedding, but she "really wants me to have one."  I suppose if she feels it's appropriate to invite her friends and family to a shower the same week than that's her perrogative.  

    I've since talked to my mother and she also thinks it's tacky to ask her family to travel for a shower, whether it be the week before the wedding or not, so I think we've dodged the issue of dueling showers, and of too much traveling!
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Not to mention, it seems like a pretty big burden to ask people to attend two big gift-giving events so close together.
  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    edited December 2011
    Just decline both showers. You can see them all at the wedding, and they can bring you a gift then.
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