April 2013 Weddings

I stood my ground!

Just had a cousin that I barely talk to email me and ask if she could bring her boyfriend to my wedding.  Um....was his name on the invite?  Um...no?  Well, then what do you think???

Luckily I kept cool and told her that I could not accomodate her boyfriend.  And she seemed to understand.

I sure hope there aren't many more of these!

Re: I stood my ground!

  • edited February 2013
    Well.... technically the correct etiquette would have been that you should have invited him, only if they were in a relationship before the invite went out. If the invite went out and they got into a relationship after, it's ok not to invite him, but nice to if you have the space. Just saying! It's hard because the place to hold your ground is against kids or random guests like a cousin or friend not invited, but significant others seems to be a whole different story.
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  • Do you have any extra space and room in your budget that you could let her bring him? He should have been invited if they were in a relationship prior to invitations being mailed out.
  • I agree with vk and orange - you really should have invited your cousin's SO. Think about it? Say you got an invitation to a cousin's wedding and FI wasn't invited. How would you feel?
  • You should have DEFINITELY included her boyfriend on the invite. Now, a random stranger or friend- no. You should really call her back and apologize for not initially inviting him and let her know she's more than welcome to bring him. 

    See the link to my post I just made the other day-

    Your cousin is probably very hurt and frustrated/pissed off at you right now, and rightfully so. 

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  • Yea you're definitely in the wrong here...he should have been invited.
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  • How old is the cousin?  And were they in a relationship when the invites went out?

    We invited all our first cousins and gave a +1 to all the older ones, no matter their relationship status.  But for the teenagers, we did not do the +1 thing.  You may think you're in love at age 14 after two weeks of hand holding, but she's not coming to my wedding.  I know that these relationships do sometimes last forever (both my parents and my grandparents started dating as teenagers!), but you gotta draw the line somewhere.

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  • I get the etiquette thing, but I can see it from both sides of the coin.

    How long have they been together.  If they've only been together a few weeks and you've never met the SO, then I wouldn't have invited him either.  She's family.  It's not like she wouldn't have anyone to talk to at the wedding.  I totally understand the "if they have a SO, you MUST invite the SO as well" thing, but when you have to cut guests due to budget or space, then yes - the SO that has only been around a few weeks that I've never met would be one of the first ones to get cut. 

    Now, if they've been together for a while and he's like part of the family, he definitely should have been invited.
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  • ...she is 19 and has different boyfriend every week......I think not.
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