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September 2012 Weddings
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Bitter...

AngB1230AngB1230
First Comment
in September 2012 Weddings
I know I shouldn't be but I am bitter towards the guests who did not show up to the wedding I would say more feeling hurt than bitter. I feel like if you was to busy to attend one of the most important days of my life you prob shouldn't be in my life especially when you lie to me about why you couldn't make it! :/ how are u guys dealing
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Re: Bitter...

  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I've learned to let it go and embrace those that did come. I wont' say my relationship hasn't changed with some, especially those that I know lied about their excuses. Some did have TOTALLY valid excuses and I completely understand, and some I'll never know why they weren't there.
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  • NO2012NO2012
    First Comment
    I only had two no shows to my DW, but I had 11 cancel in the week before. I guess I should be grateful that none of them lied or came up with lame excuses like you seem to be dealing with. Instead, they all alluded to have financial issues come up, meaning they could no longer afford to make the trip. Of course I completely understand not being able to or wanting to spend your money to come to my wedding, but maybe you shouldn't have RSVPd yes just three weeks ago then waited until the week of the wedding to cancel after I've already given my headcount and actually paid the vendors for your food and alcohol. Ugh. So yeah, I was pretty bitter and irritated at first and I am trying to let it go, but there are some I know I probably will distance myself from in the future because of it. What's done is done, the money is gone, the wedding went on without them and I'm happily married, and they are the ones with horrible manners. :/
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  • cronin85cronin85
    First Comment
    I had three people not show that RSVP'd yes.  All three had very good excuses so I wasn't bitter about it.  But I was angry about the money that I forked over to pay for their food and alcohol.
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  • volleygurl0306volleygurl0306 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    We only had two no-shows of our yeses.  They are DH's neighbors and I never heard an excuse.  If I was going to be annoyed at someone though it would be my IL's more than the neighbors b/c MIL verbally told me they were coming (the people never RSVP'd) so she could have gotten it mixed up AND we only invited them at MIL's insistance.  But, to me it really isn't worth getting upset at my MIL and starting my marriage that way since we have a good relationship.  Plus, they helped pay for part of the reception so we could argue that the waste of money was covered by them.

    My largest guest annoyance was our best man's sister.  Going into the wedding she wasn't my fav person.  Backstory: DH and her have known each other since high school so when we first started dating and I hadn't met her (she lives in VA), I thought we'd end up being friends once I met her.  Though I met his other high school friends, I ended up not meeting her until we were engaged.  When I met her she was cold and just straight up avoided me (and every time I was away from DH she clung to him).  Then when DH moved to VA last year before me she called him every day to hang out.  Once I moved up there, he never heard from her.  Inappropriate IMO.  So then comes the wedding.  We invited her and she calls DH asking if she can bring a friend (no a SO just a friend).  DH told her no.  Then, on the wedding her and our best man's mom who RSVP'd yes didn't end up coming so she thought it okay to bring her friend in her mom's place!  Ummm still not okay.  She didn't even say hello to me at the reception (though she kept trying to get DH's attention and hang with him) and her friend (who I had met once before) came up to me and said "oh do you remember me?"  I did but don't you feel awkward now that you are saying that to the bride of a wedding you weren't invited to?  Fortunately, DH got pissed at her too and needless to say he is aware of how inappropriate she is and how she is a b*tch to me.  Sorry didn't mean to rant haha but I can empathize with being frustrated with rude guests!
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  • hollyweenORhollyweenOR
    First Comment
    We didn't have any no-shows, but we had 9 people let us know they wouldn't make it after we'd gotten our final #s to the caterer. One was a family of four, and the husband's mother had died after a long illness. :( Another was a family of 3 and the wife unexpectedly got a job offer with a firm start date which meant they couldn't travel, totally understandable. Two were dates of people who'd initiatlly said they didn't want to bring a plus one, and then decided at the last minute that they did, which I made sure happened for them. And then both dates cancelled. :P Those were the only two I was peeved about, and that wasn't really, exactly, at the friends. I just let it go. Big picture, not a big deal. It'd have been different, I know, if it'd been a larger # of people and not for any good reason. 
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  • rsreesersreese member
    First Comment
    I will admit I am somewhat bitter about this too.  We had 17 no shows.  Thats alot of money that could have went towards other things.  I try to avoid the people that didn't show because I know I will have the worst attitude if I come in contact with them.  The only one I can't avoid is my coworker who sent me a text on the morning of my wedding telling me her kid was sick and they wouldn't be there and they'd have a card for me when I came back to work after the honeymoon.  When I came back to work I found out she had been telling other coworkers days before the wedding that she probably wouldn't go.  I mean really?  You could have just rsvp'd no instead of yes.  Why the lies?  And then guess what.... no card.  Yea its really hard to not let her have it every day. 
    ~almost Mrs. Reese~
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  • mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    We only had about 10 no shows and it’s fine but it is a little irritating since they RSVP’d yes. One guest was just on my bad list from the beginning so I’m glad he didn’t show. We sent him the invitation and his return RSVP notes 6 adults and 3 children. Uh hello, the invitation was only extended to his wife and their one child. Some people…

    About the no shows though, one of them in particular, my H was hurt about since it was his aunt and she never misses anything we host. She never RSVP’d either so no big deal in that sense but we still don’t know why she couldn’t make it. whatever, I really don’t care, i had so much fun with the people that did come.

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  • CiardasullyCiardasully member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I am so sorry so many of you had no-shows. That really sucks. I only had one but she really was sick (she's a doctor who loves to party).  But if I had any other no-shows, I would have been hurt as well.
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    We had almost 20 no shows that had rsvp'd "yes". Trust, I am very very bitter about it. I honestly am not planning on including those folks in my life going forward. No show and no reason fug u as far as I'm concerned.

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    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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