Long story, short my mother emotionally left the family when I was 12 and physically when I was 14, this left me the burden of caring for my confused father and younger sister. However badly she hurt me, I knew that she had a less than ideal childhood and left home at 15 and she was probably just terrified of raising teenagers. I didn't want to perpetuate the hateful cycle so decided to have compassion and stay in (distant) touch with her.
My problem is since I've thought about being married I've wanted both parents to be present. I was elated that my mom *crossing my fingers* said she will attend! Unfortunately, we are still not very close, I call her about once every two weeks and she does not trust me (she thinks I'm a spy for my dad- after all these years) therefore I don't even know where she lives! All in all, I want her to be present but I do not want to include her in the ceremony...
I know my dad expects to walk me down the aisle but I feel like by not including my mother in the ceremony I would be slapping her in the face... I don't want to hurt her but I really do think having her participate would be hurtful to me considering all the work I have put into our relationship over the last and how she still treats me.
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."~The Notebook~