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March 2010 Weddings

RSVP addressing

This might be a weird question, but how are you all addressing your reply envelopes?  My mom is really traditional and has told me that she doesn't want anyone to know that my FI and I live together.  Anyone just addressing the RSVP stuff back to just you?

Re: RSVP addressing

  • Since my parents are hosting the wedding all the response cards are going back to their address.  Do people know that you live together?  If so, I don't see the big deal about having both you and FI's names on the card.  If people don't know you already live together, just have your name on it.  Now is not the time to all of a sudden proclaim to people who may not approve of you living together that you are. 
  • My FI and I don't live together, but we may as well be.  I just put the envelopes in my name, and he knows that he can open them up as they come in.  Then there is no drama with family.

    It didn't phase him a bit that his name wasn't on it. 
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  • My mom only put my name on the envelopes.  And my FI doesn't mind that my name is the one on the envelope, he just hopes that people send them back :)
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  • In terms of etiquette this is how you should do the return address:

    Miss Bride First Name Last Name
    Address
    City, State Zip

    FI and I have lived together for years and even bought our house last year but the proper way to do the return address is to have you or your mother's name only.
  • I didn't do my RSVP's according to etiquette.  Mine are coming back to my address, but address to "FI and Christi" -- even though we don't live together.  I just figure they'll still get here and noone will remember who the RSVP got sent back to.

    It sounds like pp's have the etiquette figured out for you, though!
  • This wedding is as much his as it is mine and the reponse envelope has both our names on it.
  • I'm with lauraNkieran... I put both of our names on the RSVP envelope. We do live together, and everyone knows it.
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  • When I got my invites they said address them to both of you OR whoever is going to really be in charge of them (ie YOU lol). I'd either send them to your parents' house (if you dont want people to know you live with FI) or just your name to your place.
  • mine are going back to mom as host.  i will even be receiving an invitation to my own wedding in the mail.  i think i will RSVP YES
  • PPs have a lot of good ideas. If it's going to cause major family drama, I guess I'd come up with a solution that'll make your mom happy, but honestly I would be offended by her comment. If you and FI have chosen to live together, why should you be ashamed of that just because your mom doesn't happen to agree with it?
  • Since technically my mom is the one "throwing" the wedding but she lives in Philly and we live in FL (where the wedding is) we are having them sent to both of our names at our address (we live together).  If people have a problem with that, they don't have to come.
  • I put both FI and my name on the envelope.  I was planning on just doing mine, but he wanted his name on it as well.
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  • mine is addressed in both of our names.  my mom thought they should go to her too but i decided to just send them to us.
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  • FI and I live together, but they are just addressed to me - for two reasons (none of which have anything to do with etiquette)
    1) the space where the address goes is tiny and wouldn't fit both names and
    2) I'm the one whose going to be keeping track. He knows he can open them if he wants, but he doesn't really care who sends in the card, he'll only care when I tell him who hasn't responded if he has to follow up wtih them.
  • we had the same issue with my parents.  i decided to choose my battles, and let this one go.  my parents are very traditional, and are paying for the entire wedding.  they feel as hosts, that their name should be the rsvp address.  i let it go. 
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