My maid of honor is my best friend. Or correction was. Last September she moved to Montana - to the middle of nowhere - for a teaching position. I missed her more than anything but she was still promising to come to my wedding. She had half my wedding party in her family. Her oldest daughter was my junior bridesmaid, and her youngest daughter was my flower girl. She was doing really well in her new teaching job, she liked it and had made some friends. Most of them were guys which was the problem. One she was kissing, one she was flirting with, and the other...well, yah. This January she found out she was pregnant by him. She is devasted by it, doesn't want another baby (she has 4 kids already), was praying for a miscarriage, and she begged me to not tell anyone. She is my best friend, but this put a lot of stress and pressure on me as well as a lot of hurt. I had doubts that she would even show up to my wedding because she is kind of flaky to begin with. I know, I know - that is wrong to say as she has four kids, but you think having four kids would require a little structure - not in her case. Now throw the pregnancy in to the mix, with her due date at October 1st. My wedding is September 22nd. But up until recently she was still promising to come. She said she had 60 day maternity leave, 30 days before and 30 days after, and wanted to spend it here. Now I know it seems like I put all my eggs in her basket, but I knew it was a possibilty she couldn't come. I had made contigency plans - my sister would step in as maid of honor and she is happy to do it (I have since asked her). I am just more hurt because she is my best friend and won't be there. I almost a little angry because how can she not be there? We are each other's best friends! But she said she can't be there because her insurance won't allow her to have the baby except in Montana. Shortly after I found out she was pregnant and she begged me not to tell anyone, I started getting pressure from my mom and my aunt (who has practically been my wedding coordinator from day one - she has done everything!) to decide on bridesmaid dresses. My aunt said she had a dress in her closet that she had never worn that would fit my maid of honor, my best friend. It was the right size. Pre-pregnancy. I kept putting them off, and putting them off. And they kept pressuring me until I finally snapped and told them the truth but that nothing was to be said. But apparently my mom can't keep a secret, and she emailed my friend on facebook saying congrats on your bun in the oven and now my friend is upset which I understand but I had all this pressure coming at me, not to mention feeling a word of hurt at my best friend not being there. I am posting this more to vent, kudos to reading this far by the way if you have as it is a very unstructured post, and comments are welcome but please don't be snarky as that is something I cannot take right now.