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South Asian Weddings

Skipping a Sanji - To Do or Not Do

For Gujaratis, the dandia raas night (or sanji) is a non-religious celebration that's part of each bride and grooms journey to getting married. I happen to be one of the few people I know who is fairly clueless about garba steps and haven't really been to garba in years. I'd be the one person at our dandia raas night who doesn't know what she's doing. I was thinking because it's not religious and therefore not necessary, maybe we would skip it. I could put the money we'd save in renting a hall, booking someone to play music, decorations, snacks, dandia, etc into a mehndi night or into our reception.

Have any of you done this? Does this sound like a bad idea?

Re: Skipping a Sanji - To Do or Not Do

  • I was pretty much in the same boat as you - I haven't been to a garba since I was about 8 or 9 and even then I wasn't very good at it, oops! While I am sure it would be fun to see all your family and friends there in a more laid back atmosphere (meaning not the actual reception, etc.) it definitely adds another large expense to the equation.

    I didn't have one and I don't regret it. Actually most of my pre-wedding ceremonies etc were very small/intimate with just my family and a few close family friends. So perhaps I am not the best one to give advice.

    If it's not something that is terribly important to you and you are ok with people asking "why didn't you do XYZ?" then I say skip it.
  • We had way too many functions.  It wasn't fun.  It was expensive, tiring, and stressful.  So I say if you don't want to do something, why add to the already tremendous expense and workload of the wedding?  The only reason I can think of to do it (and the reason we had so many functions) is if your parents really really want it.
  • Hi there..so here is how we solved this dilemna.  My parents really, really wanted a garba night.  We had the mendhi & garba together. The mendhi was done first and then garba after that.  I had my mendhi done the day before so that I could enjoy the night.  
  • I think my Mom is so afraid of upsetting me for some reason that she won't be 100% honest about whether or not she wants one. She has expressed the fact that it isn't religious so it doesn't really bother her. Of course, I do have to talk to my fiance's family who are quite traditional and enjoy garba. But if we don't have one here, no one's stopping them from having one in London.

    I'd really love the idea of putting that money into the ceremony or mehndi night. I'd like to have a big tent outside for a few days and have a lot of my events at home there. I'd like a bigger mehndi night, so maybe that'd be a good idea.

    Upon estimation, how much money do you think a sanji would be? I'm estimating it's between 5-8 thousand dollars. That's with hall rental, music (whether live band or dv), clothing, dandia rental, food and drinks, favors, etc. Saving that money would be a big deal!
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