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March 2010 Weddings

I'm going to hurt him pt. 2 (VENT)

FI is STILL adding people to the guest list! We are sending out invitations in a week and he's finding friends he hasn't spoken to in years - literally - and wants to invite them. Right now, the list is at 194 people and the caterer has us down for 94! He keeps saying he's sending invitations to some of the people for gifts only but I keep telling him there is always a chance these people will come. I know everyone won't but if it's over 94 then that's more money we have to pay. For some reason, he just can't understand that and I get a headache trying to deal with it. I can't wait until this part is over!!!
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Re: I'm going to hurt him pt. 2 (VENT)

  • I understand. A couple weeks ago FI went through and added plus one's to a bunch of people (like all his cousins). Luckily over this weekend I explained that we cannot invite 190 people because the price difference between 150 (the number we've always had in mind) and 175 (the number of those 190 who would probably come) is a lot. So he ruthlessly cut some people, and now we're looking at 165...I can deal with that.

    Hopefully your FI will get it before you actually start sending out the invites!
  • Oh wow this sounds all too familiar. We started at 135...sent invitations to 226. I think it is bound to happen. Remember there is usually about 25% who wont show up, and figure out who to invite from there. Just remind FI about your original plans, AND BUDGET!! <3
  • You sound like my FI because I am the one who keeps trying to add people to the guest list, lol.  I just think that we should invite everyone as to avoid the headache I am going to go through in having to tell people no...I don't want to deal with it, although I know I will have to. *sigh*

    Expecting Two Little Knuckleheads in June! BabyName TickerBabyName Ticker
  • Tyresec, you shouldn't have to tell people no. They shouldn't ask! And if they do, they're being rude, not you, so you just throw out the "well we couldn't invite anyone" line and change the subject.

    And Romanbergs, that 25% (or 20%) is SO subjective depending on your guests. All the advice I've seen from people on here is that you shouldn't invite anyone you don't want/can't afford because they could surprise you by saying yes.
  • edited December 2009
    Emily, I totally agree!  It's the guilt trip I am getting from my family about it...

    this is what I hear from my mother and step mother: "well you should have known they couldn't come by themselves..." UGH!
    Expecting Two Little Knuckleheads in June! BabyName TickerBabyName Ticker
  • We originally had only invited 5 of my dad's 25 first cousins... only the ones who know both FI and I.  Well last week, my dad said he wanted to invited so-and-so's children because they would be 'lively'.  So we told him to circle all his cousins he wanted to invite, which turned into inviting them all!  Now we have an additional 40 people we are inviting since "You can't invite all my other aunt and uncle's children but not this family's children!".  Oy.
  • I think FI finally got it because we went through and separated the invitations into piles: Those we DEFINITELY want to invite (family, close friends), those who are getting an invitation but we know aren't coming (like my grandparents and a great aunt) and a "maybe" pile. The "definite" pile is around 110 or 115 so I'm OK with that. I don't know how I would have explained FI walking down the aisle with a black eye LOL
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2010-weddings_im-going-hurt-him-pt-2-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:588Discussion:c4a9f749-774e-40f8-97fd-ec4cf4e1a65fPost:d36c601f-be27-49b5-a57a-7333e23cb3dd">Re: I'm going to hurt him pt. 2 (VENT)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know how I would have explained FI walking down the aisle with a black eye LOL
    Posted by KeyRyn320[/QUOTE]

    I actually laughed out loud at this -- and then explained to FI that he would face this very same fate if he didn't stop inviting people that he hasn't seen in forever, just 'cause they ask how wedding planning's coming along...  Ay yi yi!
  • I'm glad it worked out. We have a few definite no's as well, so it's good to know about them. And we have a B-list (and just found out today for example that a friend is out of the country until after our wedding), so if we get more no's early on we'll invite those people.
  • I am having the same issue.  First it was my mom who kept adding people.  Now FI wants to invite more people.  He found a bunch of old friends/cousins on Facebook and is now insisting that we invite them.  We had originally said 80-100 people, but the guest list is now 186 and there might be more too. 
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