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March 2010 Weddings

Open Letter Friday

They do this on the Philadelphia board so I figured why not bring it here and let everyone get stuff off their chest.  I'll start...

Dear FI,

I'm really glad that we have neighbors now and that we all get along great, but when I work 12 hour days with an hour commute each way I don't really care that you're texting each other about making plans for us to watch the Super Bowl together at 11pm!  Walk the 200 feet to their house and talk in person so I don't have to hear your phone vibrate and then ring every time you receive a text when I'm trying to go to sleep!



Re: Open Letter Friday

  • Dear FI,
    I know that your job is variable (tour guide), and I know it's not your fault that today happens to be a slow day. I also know that you've been working hard recently and have really busy nights training with your team. But the fact that right now you're watching TV in our room while I'm in the dining room working from home - and I mean really working, no I do not have time to get the stain out of your jacket - makes me resent you just a tiny bit.

    Your breadwinning future wife

    PS. I appreciate that you're taking tonight off practice so we can go take our e-pics :)
  • Oh, also:

    Dear FedEx,
    My veil was supposed to get here on Wednesday from the US. Yesterday you had it all day for "paperwork" and customs stuff. Now I can see that it's finally on the truck for delivery. Hurry up!
    An impatient bride
  • Dear FI:

    I don't resent you at all for being in New Orleans for your bachelor party while I am in snowy Indiana suffering through Bankruptcy Law.  Ok, maybe I do a little.  But, I do still love you!


    Your future wife who will be partying Nashville for her bachelorette party in a few weeks!
  • Dear Rude Guests,

    I realize that my wedding is not the most important thing on your to-do list, but I very plainly wrote an RSVP deadline on the response cards. (RSVP date is tomorrow).  I made things easy as pie with the invitation packet-a pre-stamped envelope, directions to the hotel, hotel room information.  I'm even providing you with a post-wedding brunch the next day.  l you had to do was decide if you are going to attend or not attend.

    I am not relishing the fact that we are going to have to contact about 70 of you on Monday.  I have to give estimates to my caterer and draw up the seating chart next week so my stationer can make the escort cards (she has a 2/15 deadline).  I really would not like to have my family pay for more seats than necessary.

    If you could kindly RSVP, it would make things a lot easier for Matt and me as we try to finalize the details.  At this point, I don't care if you attend, or not....but just let me know.

  • Dear Co-Workers,

    LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!  I have a back log of 30 claims and I don't want to hear you b*tch about how you plan on leaving early today and our boss better not make you take leave. 

    Dear Boss,
    I am not magical.  I am not a fictional creature who has the ability to create perfect files by waiving a wand or a staff, saying a phrase in some ancient language and magically creating a clear desk with no mail, closed files and all law suits answers.  I am also not a desk monkey, I do not have 10 sets of hands and 5 heads, nor do I have the ability to clone myself and be in 2 places at one time or do the work of 2 people all at once.  I am human...get over it!

    Dear FI,
    I love you more and more everyday!

    Expecting Two Little Knuckleheads in June! BabyName TickerBabyName Ticker
  • Ty, I am cracking the hell up at your letter to your boss. Fictional creature, HA!

    And Cara, I would like to sign my name to your letter as well, please.
  • Ah, I love this --

    Dear Mom and MOH:

    I trust you guys!  Really!  Please continue to communicate between yourselves regarding my bachelorette party.  I honestly don't want to know the details (and this is coming from a spoiler ho).

    Dear FI:

    You are a nerd.  I am also a nerd.  However, please do not keep talking until 1am about how you love the new Star Trek video game.  I was exhausted from working out and then playing Dragon Age when I got home.  I know our lives suck with you working a swing shift, but I really did need some sleep.  You had better be at the DMV right now renewing your ID so we can get our marriage license.

    and yes, Emily, feel free to sign your name as well!
  • Dear FI, 

    Instead of making twenty-six checklists about the things you need to do (wedding related and non) I think you should just do them.  I've been hearing about some of these items for months (I gotta order the spices for the pepper grinders, I gotta find the charger for my phone, I gotta make the playlist for the wedding, I gotta clean out the office, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta).  Just pick one and do it and tomorrow you can do another one.

    Also, when you get tired, JUST GO TO SLEEP.  Stop pretending that you're watching late night infomercials when you're snoring then get all uppity with me when I turn the TV off.  

    By the way, when I asked you yesterday if we could have a romantic night together, I didn't mean that you would spend two hours on the phone with verizon wireless from the time you walked into the door until well after 9pm, and then start nodding off on the couch by 10.

    And finally, I adore you, adore you, adore you, and if you never changed I'd still marry you in a heartbeat.

    (But seriously, think about that sleeping thing.)



    Dear Cat, 

    But I love you, you scmookie pookie fatty poo.

    The Mamas
  • Dear Step-Mom,

    I don't get why you always have to be so stuck-up and snooty. I can't believe that you actually told my Dad that you think it is "inappropriate" for him to attend FI's Bachelor party! They are having a few beers and going to the Bruins game, like really that is inappropriate to you? Not to mention that all of my Dad's brothers who he never gets to see as they live across the US will be in town and going to the Bach party. Please let him off the leash for one night, I mean as I write this you are in Miami for 5 days with your sisters and he is working from home so that he can take care of your 6 year old twins! Get off your high horse and let the guy have some fun and don't worry you are not invited to my Bachelorette party!

    You're Irritated Step-Daughter
    TTC #1 Since July 2011
    BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
    BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
    TTC on hold until December
  • Dear FI,

    I love that you've made space for my "stuff" in our apartment.  I know this adjustment has been difficult for both of us.  Please consider that you have sh*t in the hidden places before commenting on how our wedding presents that have arrived by mail need a home. Just because you cannot see the items in the closet does not mean you need to keep the pair of jeans you wore in high school.  20 years of buildup in the cabinets, storage closet and drawers does not make for a happy woman.  You do not need 3 snowboards, 2 sets of ancient scuba gear that's obviously unsafe and computer equipment that hasn't been used in years.  I have learned to let go of the majority of my "extra" items.  I would appreciate it if you could please clean out some unnecessary items.

    Thank you!


    p.s. Please help me paint the bathroom.  We both know it needs to be done and since I've just finished painting the living room and dining room, pppllllleeeeaaassseeee help me. :)
    TTC #1 5/97 - PCOS dx 6/10 - Metformin 8/10 - Moved from Endo to RE 9/10 - 50mg Clomid 9/10 - 100mg Clomid 10/18 - BFP - Beta #1 = 91 - Beta #2 = 958 EDD 6/28/11 Tater Tot arrived 6/21/11 on his Great Grandmother's 90th Birthday
  • Cara, I'd like to sign yours too!

     Dear Boss and coworkers,

        I understand that you all need to feel important and act like your opinion is always the right one, but please stop wasting my time telling me that I am doing things wrong when I follow a protocol you set.  Also, please don't seem shocked that when you ask for justification of my actions I show you the email you sent where the protocol was spelled out and we were instructed to follow it along with the meeting minutes where you presented and finalized it.

    Also, I do not need to spend a half a day discussing this or scheduling yet another meeting to review and decide upon said protocol which we did two months ago. I would appreciate it if you would make your staff favorites just do it instead of telling me they don't understand or are overwhelmed.  I have a program to run and preparations for 12 new interns that will be arriving scarily close to my wedding day. I believe I have plenty to do!

    PGAL/PAL Welcome


  • Ok I really love this...

    Dear FI,
    I'm sick of living 45 minutes apart. I am sick of only seeing you 2-3 times a week-AT THE MOST! I am sick of us both being exhausted all the time and me getting moody because I cannot see you. However, I am glad that all of this will change in 50 days when I marry you. I love you so much!


    Dear mom ,
    I know that you feel horrible that you and dad are not in the position to help pay for the wedding. I know that you wish you could. I really wish you could too. I am beyond stressed financially. I do not know how we are going to make our deadlines to pay the balance of our vendors. Please stop suggesting all these nice ideas because I just cannot keep spending money. I love you both but can only take so much!
    Thank you!

  • These are hilarious!

    And that is precisely why we will not get a cat!
    Expecting Two Little Knuckleheads in June! BabyName TickerBabyName Ticker
  • Dear 1 & 2 yr old puppies,
    Please stop peeing on the floor, I know you are home during the day, but the house stinks!!  Please use the bathroom outside, since we let you out every 10 minutres.  Also, please try to limit your visits outside to one per hour.  And I need to actually sleep at night, so please stop hogging the bed and pick one place to lay and stay there.
    But I love you :)

    Dear bosses,
    I realize that we are in a bad economy.  And I realize that we are not in a position to hire some full time help.  But I feel that 8 months working alone is overly excessive.  Please hire me some help, part time works just fine.  Please remember that I get married in 35 days, and while i have planned my wedding around the schedule you have set for me and through email and phone calls, I do need somet ime off.  Stop giving everyone else time off and debating with me whether or not I get the time off for my wedding.  IM GETTING MARRIED, I will be absent from work.
    Thank you
    Soon to be ex-employee

    Dear family and friends,
    Please remember that this is our wedding.  It is about us and for us.  Especially since we are paying for it.  If you offer to help, please follow through.  Please stop telling me how your offers of help are becoming difficult since money is tight...I still dont even have the wedding paid off, so no I have no money to help you out.  And just because I mentioned to you the things we have left to do does not mean I was asking for money...I know that you don't have any.  Please also remember that I still have my own to do list to finish and stop dragging your own feet and asking me if you're doing it right.  And if you want to know what Im working and if I need help, call me.  I know you have your own life and if your too busy to help why would I ask you for some.  And please respond to me when I do ask you for help or need your reply (guests)
    Soon to be married and unstressed
  • This is great.

    Dear FSIL,
    I understand that you are excited to get married to FI's brother.  I really do.  But for the next 5 weeks can I please be the bride?  You two have been engaged for 2 years.  You are getting married in August.  That is awesome.  However, I do not understand why you have repeatedly thrown passive-aggressive tempertantrums for the last 5 months after FI and I got engaged.  2 years is a long time and you are being unreasonable expecting us to wait for you any longer.

    FSIL, I understand that you are excited to get married, but I am too.  For the next 5 weeks I do not want texts about your awesome dress, read facebook updates about your guest list, or anything else about your wedding.  I know this sounds harsh, but you haven't asked me a thing about our wedding since November.  Its obvious that you don't give a rats patoote about us, so until after our wedding I will not feign interest in yours.  I'm too busy...

    Thank you,

    PS- Could you please get your FI away from the videogames for 5 seconds to do some of his BM duties.  FI has been rather upset lately thinking that there will be no bachelor party, toast, or whatever else a BM is supposed to do since, again, you all act like we aren't getting married.  BTW- Telling FMIL that FBIL didn't know that he was the BM in our wedding was a crock of poo.  FI asked him the week after we got engaged...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker Anniversary
  • Dear Dad,
    Just wondering why you RSVP'd for 6 when I only invited 4.  And then you don't even bother to put any names on your RSVP card so I have no idea who these extra 2 mystery guests are.  If I had wanted to invite who ever they are I probably would have sent them an invitation.  As I come to find out from my older sister that you told my little sister,who is 8, that she could bring 2 of her friends that I have never met.  Not sure if you bothered to look at the website I painstakely made, that tooks hours, but it did mention that this is an adult ony event, with the exception of immediate family children.  Not sure where you think these 2 friends are going to sit since the front row, reserved for family, is only 6 chairs wide and between your family and my mom and her husband it's full.  Thank you for making me now have to be the bad guy when I tell her that her friends can't come.  Maybe try asking me who can come to MY wedding before you just start inviting people.

    Make a pregnancy ticker
  • Hahaha so great! I love it!!
    PGAL/PAL Welcome


  • Dear Grad School,
       You suck. I realize it was my own decision to get married halfway through the semester, but seriously, don't you realize how much I have left to do? Please consider lightening my work load. I promise to work reallyreally hard after spring break.

    Future Mrs. H
  • Mg321....My sentiments exactly!  I'm trying every weekend to get stuff done because our midterms are the week before the wedding!
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