too many bridesmaids

Kmulkern22 · April 2010

hello everyone!

I have always known I would have a bigger bridal party. I have 3 sisters, so many close friends and Cousins that I am close with. I am inviting 150+ people to my wedding. I am expecting around 125 to show...or so, you never know. I have asked my older sister to be my MOH. My best friend, my cousin and my 2 other sisters assumed they were in the wedding, which in a perfect world I would love for them to be up there with me. So long story short I have 6 bridesmaids to be...I think a bridal party that large will look very silly. But at this point I don't want to hurt anyones feelings....What do I do?!?

AutumnFair · April 2010

I say ask, 6 isn't that bad for a 125-150 person wedding. I've seen 6 bridesmaids for a wedding under 75, so if it saves drama and hurt feelings go ahead and ask.

This is why I enjoyed the movie 27 dresses because the bride cared about all her friends and didn't care what anyone thought about uneven sides, number of bridesmaids (corny yes, but still a great point).

Catwoman708 · April 2010

Your wedding is still 18 months away, so it's a little too soon to be asking bridesmaids. Wait until 6-9 months away, unless you are having a very formal wedding and dresses that must be ordered months in advance.

A lot can happen in the next year, with friendships, moves, pregnancies, changes in financial circumstances, etc... Both their circumstances and yours. Once you've asked, you cannot UNask. If you ask 6 or 8 girls to be BMs now, then have to downsize the wedding later, you're kind of stuck. And just because you ask them doesn't mean they will say yes or be able to.

Ask your sisters if it's tradition in your family, and your very best friends. Not everyone can be a BM. If they truly care about you, they will understand that.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

We invited about 200 people and I have 6 girls and he has 6 guys. It will be fine, relax. Ditto pp, wait 'til you are about 6-9 months out to choose. They will understand that you can't have everyone be a BM, but there are other roles they could play esp if you are having a church wedding; ie: reader, help do your make-up/hair unless you are getting it done professionally, etc.

Kmulkern22 · April 2010

thanks, we just moved the wedding up to June of 2011. Still this is early. ANYWAYS. The only problem is that they just assumed they would be in it the wedding because we are all so close.... I am the first to get married out of my friends and family. So I guess they don't know how this usually works. The ONLY person I asked is my older sister as MOH...I guess I will either have to look silly and have 6 BM's or have a conversation with one or two of them that I AM NOT looking forward to....

thanks again ladies, good idea with the readings. I think some of them will apprieciate that.

LoveBugBaby · April 2010

We're inviting 150, expect about 135... and we each have 8 on our sides! The people we chose for our bridal party are all very close friends/family and we have never once questioned any of them being asked. We just couldn't imagine not including any of them! While I feel like our bridal party is too large for our wedding sometimes, I just don't care if others have an opinion about it. Most of my bridesmaids are married and I've been in each of their weddings as well.

Whippet8 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_many-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:fd963919-2192-4d27-9d2f-e3f8965e0c66Post:d4e499f9-2d41-4c06-963f-9e62b674f10a">Re: too many bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks, we just moved the wedding up to June of 2011. Still this is early. ANYWAYS. The only problem is that they just assumed they would be in it the wedding because we are all so close.... I am the first to get married out of my friends and family. So I guess they don't know how this usually works. The ONLY person I asked is my older sister as MOH...I guess I will either have to look silly and have 6 BM's or have a conversation with one or two of them that I AM NOT looking forward to.... thanks again ladies, good idea with the readings. I think some of them will apprieciate that.
Posted by Kmulkern22[/QUOTE]

if you haven't actually asked them to be BM, then they shouldn't expect it, unless you've led on that they "might" be. I would not approach them about them not being BMs though. No one wants be approached with why they weren't picked.

However, you really think 6 bridesmaids looks silly? I had 140 people, and 6 bridesmaids.