Help! Bridesmaid gained weight!

kala+joshua825 · May 2012

One of my bridesmaids lives out of town. I recently heard that she's put on weight. I saw her last week, and it looks like she has actually put on a lot. The bridesmaids have already purchased their dresses. I'm having a little brunch at my house this weekend for all the girls to come try on their dresses, so I can see what alterations need to be maid. I'm down to three months before the wedding. What should I do if her dress doesn't fit her? We don't have time to order another dress--if I have to get another dress, it needs to be off the rack, and she won't fit into one on the rack.I don't know what to do if she doesn't fit!

Lizzieyounce · May 2012

Facepalm

kmmssg · May 2012

Why are they trying on their dresses for you instead of just going to a seamstress for alterations? Are you doing the alterations?

Absolutely ditto what covejack said. Please change your plans asap or you are going to embarrass that poor girl.

Maggie0829 · May 2012

Why do you need to see what alterations need to be done? Are you a seamstress and are going to be doing the alterations? I highly doubt it.

What you are doing is highly embarassing for all your BMs. They are adults and should be able to decide if alterations are needed themselves. I am sure that if the one girls dress does not fit and cannot be altered correctly she will come to you with her problem. Until that point you need to back the fluck off.

jCoakley · May 2012

I'm usually a lurker but I had to comment on this. Please do not do this to your bridesmaids. I would be HORRIFIED if I was in your wedding and had to do this. Why do YOU need to see what alterations need to be made? Why can't the BMs just go to a seamstress on their own? It is awesome that you are having brunch for them but just have them over and give them their dresses and let them try them on in the privacy of their own homes.

I was recently in a wedding and my dress ended up being a little tight. The seamstress was able to let it out a few inches- no problem!

pkontk · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-bridesmaid-gained-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:88223dd9-461c-4b38-b74a-cb13cfef0540Post:9e6c134a-b0a9-4d10-85c3-928fcad52fd1">Help! Bridesmaid gained weight!</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my bridesmaids lives out of town. I recently heard that she's put on weight. I saw her last week, and it looks like she has actually put on a lot. The bridesmaids have already purchased their dresses. I'm having a little brunch at my house this weekend for all the girls to come try on their dresses, so I can see what alterations need to be maid. I'm down to three months before the wedding. What should I do if her dress doesn't fit her? We don't have time to order another dress--if I have to get another dress, it needs to be off the rack, and she won't fit into one on the rack.I don't know what to do if she doesn't fit!
Posted by kala+joshua825[/QUOTE]

<div>Have the little brunch. Do NOT make them try on the dresses. If they need alterations, they can get those done themselves by a seamstress they trust and have priced out.</div><div>
</div><div>If it doesn't fit, she will figure it out. She can get it altered up, she can buy extra material to alter it up, or maybe find a used dress in a larger size. That is her responsibility and you should not pester her about it. Let her come to you.</div>

RamonaFlowers · May 2012

Unless you're the seamstress that's handling the alterations, there is absolutely no reason for the girls to have to try on their dresses in front of you. And even if there was (Again, there really isn't), there certainly is no reason for them to have to try them on in front of each other. That is nobody's idea of fun, I assure you.

Each girl is more than capable of getting herself and her dress to a competent seamstress that she can deal with in a private, non-embarrassing, manner. Dresses can be let out a bit, and if that's not enough, it's possible to put in panels in the back. If a professional seamstress tells this girl there's nothing that can be done with the amount of weight she's gained, then it's on her to scrounge the internet to see if she can find the dress in a size that fits elsewhere. Notice how you aren't mentioned at all in that scenario.

dewingedpixie · May 2012

I'm with these ladies this is embarassing to do. There may also be a reason out of her control for the weight gain. Thyroid disease, injuries, new medications all things she may not want to discuss, let alone her weight gain which she certainly wont want to have pointed out.

dewingedpixie · May 2012

I'm with these ladies this is embarassing to do. There may also be a reason out of her control for the weight gain. Thyroid disease, injuries, new medications all things she may not want to discuss, let alone her weight gain which she certainly wont want to have pointed out.

mbrischoux · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-bridesmaid-gained-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:88223dd9-461c-4b38-b74a-cb13cfef0540Post:8bc41b99-baa2-407c-aa4b-16c272ec6657">Re: Help! Bridesmaid gained weight!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm with these ladies this is embarassing to do. There may also be a reason out of her control for the weight gain. Thyroid disease, injuries, new medications all things she may not want to discuss, let alone her weight gain which she certainly wont want to have pointed out.
Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I agree with all of this. Plus, weight is a sensitive issue with people, and you could risk doing more damage than you anticipate by forcing her to try on dresses for your inspection. I say this as someone who used to have to do this for drama club in high school, and it resulted in a serious eating disorder. I realize you may think my case is extreme, but any discussion of a person's weight gain, partcularly when it would sound like you don't think she's "thin enough" to be in your wedding, can cause serious harm other than just a hurt feeling or two.

lpowers1118 · May 2012

I am slamming my head against my desk bc this is the most insane post ever. What makes you think you have an opinion on someones weight gain. Unless you are doing the alterations let them go see a pro , they are the ones who are paid to do this sort of thing.

Meghannsix · May 2012

Oh dear. I agree with PP's. Please get your priorities straight, and let your BM's worry about their own dresses.

Stormz · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-bridesmaid-gained-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:88223dd9-461c-4b38-b74a-cb13cfef0540Post:8bc41b99-baa2-407c-aa4b-16c272ec6657">Re: Help! Bridesmaid gained weight!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm with these ladies this is embarassing to do. There may also be a reason out of her control for the weight gain. Thyroid disease, injuries, new medications all things she may not want to discuss, let alone her weight gain which she certainly wont want to have pointed out.
Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

You are being rude as all get out. I have hypothyroidism. My face gets puffy on new meds and my weight fluctuates. Honestly, I would not do alterations that far out unless my meds were spot on because of that.

My weight fluctutions have been as much as 50lbs. If I was your bridesmaid and you were having a cow over my weight fluctuations I would flip the fluck out. And sometimes it looks like I put on weight depending on my meds because it makes my face look puffy.

I would be more concerned with her health, and not if the dress fits. She will know how to handle it. I am sure she has clothes in her own closet she is having difficulties with.

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