Maid of Honor Dilemma

jj62 · November 2009

I am close to both of my sisters and can not imagine choosing one over the other for the title of Maid of Honor. So far I have asked them to both be bridesmaids and they accepted. Has anyone dealt with having two sisters that they would like to share the "Maid of Honor" duties? If so how did you handle it? Or is it ok to refer to them both as bridesmaids and not have someone with that title? My fiance is having a Best Man so that got me thinking about the logistics of it all. Do I just pair one sister-bridesmaid with the Best Man and refer to both as a bridesmaids? I know they will plan the shower together and other than who actually stands next to me at the altar cant think of anything else that separates the Maid of Honor from a Bridesmaid.

Has anyone been in this situation?? I would like to hear any advice and or ideas.

Thanks
Judy

SarahPLiz · November 2009

I have 2 sisters also. One is my Maid of Honor, the other is my Matron of honor, and I have no BM. I could have called the both BM if I wanted to, they wouldn't have cared.

Traditionally, the MH signs the marriage license as a witness, but this could be anyone who witnesses the ceremony, not just a BP member. As long as they are over 18 or over, they can sign.

And its ok to have uneven sides. You don't even have to pair them up with GM, just let them walk by themselves..

EDIT: Its also ok not to have an MH.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

It's something that's come up on this board a lot. It's definitely one of the good problems in life

You could call them both MOH or both BM. It's up to you.

For the "logistics" of it the BM could escort both of them up the aisle at the same time, or he could wait up at the altar w/ your FI and the girls could walk down solo (that's what I did--we had an uneven WP).

banana468 · November 2009

I've seen two maids of honor and I've also seen a wedding of bridesmaids only.

Whatever you like is fine.

jj62 · November 2009

thank you for the replies.....Iam new to these boards....is there a way I can follow my post and know when I get a response?
Judy

bablingbrooke · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:17da6fdd-a763-43e1-8515-18cfc1c77cddPost:ee4179e7-7ecc-44c2-a94b-7a9516764046">Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you for the replies.....Iam new to these boards....is there a way I can follow my post and know when I get a response? Judy
Posted by jj62[/QUOTE]

<div>We're <strong>all</strong> new to the boards right now since they radically changed the format yesterday. It used to be you could click "watch this thread" and it would email each new reply to you, but I don't know if that works anymore.</div>

banana468 · November 2009

You should be able to watch a thread by clicking the option at the top right of the thread.

Also, you can click the magnifying glass below your name to view any threads on which you have posted.

Hope that helps!

trix1223 · November 2009

Ditto the other posters. You can have 2 BMs, 2 MOHs....really they're just pretty meaningless titles after all.

Another thing you can do is have one sister stand beside you during the ceremony, and the other sign the license (if you live in a state where it needs to be signed.)

lindseroo · November 2009

My situation is sort of the same, except in reverse. I have three sisters, but am closest to a friend who I would rather have as the MOH, so they will all just be bridesmaids. Might make me look bad, but whatever. My fiance, however, has two brothers with whom he is very close. In his brother's wedding in September of 2008, he and his other brother were both the best men. They both left with her MOH (who was her sister), which was sort of cute anyway. In our wedding, he will be having two best men and three groomsmen, while I will have one maid of honor and four bridesmaids. Therefore his little brother will walk with my first bridesmaid, but will stand on a higher step in order to show he is a best man. It is going to be uneven, which bothers me a little, but I don't have to be in the ceremony as it happens, so...whatever!! Hopefully this helps a bit. It really doesn't matter about aesthetics or anything else so much, what matters most is just who you really want in those positions. If someone doesn't respect you for that, they're clearly being ridiculous.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

Oh, lindseroo, please don't post links to other peoples' facebook pages. At the very least you give away her name and that's not fair to her.

banana468 · November 2009

Lindseroo, I deleted the link to FB.

Please don't do that. It's against the rules and it's also not safe.

Instead, you can always save the facebook pictures for your own if you truly want to have your own copy. Linking isn't OK though.

littlemoments324 · November 2009

My FI is having 2 Best Men. I am having a Maid of Honor...The Best Men are going to walk down my MOH...

You could have the BM come out and stand with your FI...and just have your sisters walk down together...or have the BM walk down the MOH's....

And yes, it is okay not to have an MOH...I also like the idea of having one stand next to you in the ceremony and the other sign the marriage liscense.

sugrad2007 · November 2009

My sister is my matron of honor and my best friend is maid of honor. One of my other really good friends had her two sisters both be maids of honor. It's your wedding so what matters most is what you want. Oh, and fi is only having one best man.

notquiteblushing · November 2009

I have two sisters and I asked them to be Matron of Honor and Maid of Honor. I'm close to both of them although one is under 18 and can't sign the marriage certificate, plan a bach party, etc. I am also having two bridesmaids.

pooh8402 · November 2009

when my middle sister (so called because she is in the middle--I'm the oldest) got married, both of us other sisters were maids of honor. I signed the marriage certificate as I was the one that was over 18--the youngest sister was still only 17 at the time.

now that I'm getting married, I'm having a maid of honor and matron of honor (the unmarried and married sister, respectively).

if the youngest sister gets married, she will have 2 matrons of honor.

it is entirely appropriate to have more than one honor attendant, as long as you don't make EVERYONE an honor attendant, you know? then it's no longer an honor.

e_jakiela · November 2009

You could have both of your sisters as MOHs and they could both walk in at the same time with the Best Man...

I also saw a wedding where there were two Brides maids and one grooms man. Initially the Groom had a Best Man and a couple of GM but when he realised that the bride had two MOHs he decided to get rid of the GM (before he told them, so not rude), and they just had the three walk down the aisle before the bride.

MrsH8172010 · November 2009

I couldn't imagine choosing bewteen my sisters, but I also couldn't choose any friends over them. Ultimately it worked out because I chose my mom. We are extremely close, she is my best friend, the person I do everything with, and the person I tell everything to. So I chose my mom as my MOH.

I suggest you do whatever makes you happy. No one should tell you what is or isn't okay when it comes to your wedding party. I've heard of many girls having two MOH. Maybe that would make them feel more special if your open to doing that. But having them be bridesmaids and not having a MOH is good too. It's ultimately your choice. : )

jamm2019 · November 2009

You could always tell them to pick which one of them wants to be the MOH.

amazing22324 · November 2009

Hey JJ,

I had the same problem but with my girlfriends and my sister. I did not want to choose the role for the 3 of them. So I am making my sister the Matron and I made my 2 best friends, Maids of honor. A little untraditional, but I think it will work. The only think I feel bad about is having them share the title. my sister and my one best friend have never been maid of honor and I feel bad having them share, they have also mentioned that to me. But it will work out in the end and I am glad I didnt have to make such a hard decision. My fiance is having 1 best man and the rest groomsmen. I dont think it matters how you write it on the program.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who faced this problem. It is really hard to make that choice!!! But in the end, it really isn't a huge decision! Happy planning!

cch923 · November 2009

I have two best friends that are both my Maids of Honor...well I guess one is actually Matron of Honor since she is married. Point is, I gave them both the title because I couldn't/didn't want to choose.

ggmae · November 2009

I asked both of my best friends to be MOHs because I never could have chosen between them. There is NO problem with having 2.

In terms of "duties," don't designate them. If they offer to do things for you - great - but don't expect it and don't demand it.

crystal_moran · November 2009

I also have two sisters. I ended up picking the older sister to be the brides maid.

slbriz34 · November 2009

I'd go the Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, or two MOHs, or both as bridesmaid without a MOH. Remember, they are just titles. Both can give a speech at the reception, help you plan, etc. Why everyone gets caught up with the lingo is just silly in my opinion and only adds to stress like yours.

You'll figure it out, but it's just one day, so I wouldn't get too bent out of shape (and neither will they). GL.

goheels05 · November 2009

I had 2 MOHs, my best friend and my sister. They split tasks among themselves, although since my sister is so much younger, it was just natural that the friend would plan the bachelorette party and shower.

dinsept · November 2009

I would have the older sister be the matron of Honor and the younger be the maid of honor if you must have titles

Da0419 · November 2009

I'm having 3. I had originally asked my best friend and my niece (she's more like a sister to me than a niece) to be co-maids of honor because they're both equally important. Then, due to family politics and a crazy Asian mother, I added my older sister as a matron of honor. My fiance is only having one Best Man, so my best friend will walk with him and the other two will be walking with groomsmen. I think its more important to do what you think will work best. Good luck!!

Nicole386 · November 2009

My best friend has 2 sisters, both of whom would have been hurt if she chose one as MOH over the other. So she chose me as MOH and made both of her sisters BMs. I don't think the one sister was overly impressed, but it was a lot easier for the bride to deal with than having to chose one sister over the other and starting WW3.

For my wedding, I'm not having a MOH....just 2 BMs: my best friend and my future sister-in-law. FH has 2 brothers and didn't want to choose a Best Man, so we're doing away with the whole Best Man/MOH titles.

It's your wedding, and these days more and more people are breaking the usual traditions - you can do whatever you want!

Kirsti44 · November 2009

It seems that everyone agrees that having two MOHs is not a big deal. I was in my sister's wedding where she had me and her best friend as MOHs. To "distinguish" us, we put flowers in our hair - which we made ourselves, so it was cheap. I've also seen a wedding where the bride had the two stand on the same step and then the others were below. If you were trying to figure out who to put in order, I would just go with age and hope your sisters don't get offended. You know them best!

higgldy_piggldy · November 2009

I have three sisters...that's why I chose my best friend. Then again.. two of my sisters are under 21 and not that responsible and my other sister (step-sis who is 8 days younger than me) lives far away in Texas...So, I lucked out with not having to choose.

If one is significantly older you could totally put the matron/maid of Honor.

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