I am SHOCKED!

kikibaby · October 2010

I just found out that one of my friends is a bisexual, hardcore swinger! How did I not know this?? I've known this woman for 2 years.

Bubbalub · October 2010

Are you shocked by the revelation itself or the lifestyle or both? (swinger lifestyle, that is, not the bisexual part).

I think I would be shocked by both. My friend is dating a guy who is in an open marriage and I just can't find it in myself to be ok with the open marriage part. What's the point of getting married?

[/judgey]

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

How did you find out?

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

I also don't understand open marriages Bubbalub. It's like an oxymoron or something.

vallyhoo · October 2010

she propositioned you didn't she?

kikibaby · October 2010

I guess I'm shocked all around. I found out via mutual friend, who I hung out with this weekend. It's not a secret, I guess, but not something she goes sharing with everyone in the world necessarily.

I already knew she was kind of uh... a free spirit. But, yeah. And then mutual friend was telling me more about the whole lifestyle... and yeah, more shock and awe. I had no idea.

kikibaby · October 2010

She does keep asking to meet my husband, vally... hmm... haha

beebe918 · October 2010

My aunt and uncle were/are swingers. I say were because I suspect they've settled down now. They've been married since they were in highschool and were really wild but they have two small children now so I'm hoping they've strayed away from that lifestyle. They've never spoken about it in front of me (my mom told me all this). They also used to have nude parties (where everyone in attendance was nude), but haven't heard anything about on of them in 10 years or so, so I'm hoping they're over that stage.

Other than the swingers part they're really great people, sometimes I wish my mom hadn't told me bc I never would have guessed. I love hanging out with them and their kids. I'm sure the same can be said for your friend and there's a chance this is just a stage for her as well.

Snippylynn · October 2010

Erm. Did you want her to wear a sign around her neck?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

I found out one of my friends was bi AT MY WEDDING. When he introduced his date as his boyfriend.

kikibaby · October 2010

Yes, a sign would have been fantastic.

I think the biggest surprise to me was that her kids know all about it (she has 4, aged 12-22).

Anyway, her BF is a total douchebag, and I think a bi swinger could do much better.

Snippylynn · October 2010

OH no. That ain't right. Kids knowing about it? Ew.

kikibaby · October 2010

I just wouldn't WANT to know that about my mom, y'know? And apparently it's pretty common for people to have "parties" at their houses, with their kids present. My friend told me one of the frequent hosts is a school principal.

I'm sorry, maybe I'm sheltered, but this all blew my mind.

Bubbalub · October 2010

Ugh, the kids thing will mess them up. I have friends who grew up in hippie communes and at least one of them told me about playing "find mommy and daddy" in the mornings because all the adults slept with each other periodically and the kids never knew which room their mom or dad slept in each night.

Gross.

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4129471c-d612-45ce-adcd-1295a3efc3cbPost:b13e081a-51a1-4022-a420-3e8c8938f537">Re: I am SHOCKED!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am SHOCKED! : The thing is, she was married for a long time (not sure exact number of years, but long enough to pop out 4 kids). But she's been doing this for at least 6 years, which is considered a very long time in "the community" apparently. So, I guess it's more like she didn't enjoy being in a monogamous relationship.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I guess what I really mean is I don't get both having a BF AND consistently sleeping with other people. Like either you like being in a relationship or you don't, in my mind. The occasional threesome or swinger situation might be something you do to spice up the relationship, but if really you just want to sleep with all sorts of people forever then I don't understand why you aren't just single.

I'm not so much judging as sharing how it just doesn't compute in my mind based on my experiences and what I enjoy.

amber2123 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4129471c-d612-45ce-adcd-1295a3efc3cbPost:e066f73b-7e09-4a24-9917-323df0abf5b3">Re: I am SHOCKED!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am SHOCKED! : The occasional threesome or swinger situation might be something you do to spice up the relationship, but if really you just want to sleep with all sorts of people forever then I don't understand why you aren't just single.Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
This is what I think. That and why would you torture your kids with this, they already have the gag reflex of knowing that you sleep with your H/W, how much would you hate to be taught by the teacher mommy spent the night with last night. I'd drop out of school.

I am SHOCKED!

Re: I am SHOCKED!

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