Already married ladies - Help me not freak out please

Amy52582 · July 2010

So today marks only one month until the big day!! Cannot believe it is so close! Anyway, I'm already freaking out about everything that's left, but I'd like to hear everyone's helpful hints for what your last-minute to-dos were. So maybe I can put them on my list and start working on them now, instead of the day before

What last minute things do you wish someone had warned you about or did you wish you had done sooner? Or, even better - what last minute things did you wish you had skipped, because they didn't really matter anyway??

Thanks ladies!

kimbrout · July 2010

Amy - about this time I, too, had my major freak out. I felt like my list was never going to get finished and no one really understood and like the next month wasn't going to be enjoyable because I was going to be living in a state of constant stress. Have no fear, this feeling is manageable!

Start off by looking at your list in terms of priority. What things do you absolutely need to get done? Example: the seating chart. You do have to figure out where people will sit. Make this less stressful by not involving too many people. You and FI sit down together and hammer it out.

What things do you not really need to do? Ex: bathroom baskets. These are nice additions but not really a necessity. Above all, do not, under any circumstances, add things to your list. Whatever you have planned up until this point is fantastic, and any other ideas that pop into your head from here on in are unnecessary. Don't be afraid to delegate any tasks you can. Get FI involved, or your bridal party if they have offered their help. Try to take some of the load off you if possible.

Make sure you have at least one night a week where you are not working on wedding things, but focus on FI. In all of the wedding hub-bub you can lose what the whole point of it is! Do something fun together and don't talk about wedding worries!

When all else fails to calm you down, a little wine never hurt anyone

gottahavashorti · July 2010

Figuring out a timeline, coordinating that timeline with vendors, WP and family, WP gifts, rehearsal dinner time, printing and cutting/framing various menus, sorting out which wine went where (bar, tables, or save to refresh empty bottles on tables), dress alterations, favor basket and sign, card basket sign, getting DH's suit dry cleaned, packing for the HM, making an emergency kit... I don't remember the rest but it was just a lot of little stuff and a lot of small things I'd been procrastinating.

weezie825 · July 2010

My advice is cut out anything that doesn't add to your day. So much of the stuff on the knot sounds like a cool idea, but if you end up stressed out and not enjoying the time leading up to your wedding it isn't worth it. Once you trim down your list- DELEGATE!

I actually didn't do a lot of the "extra" stuff:
My caterer took care of the table numbers and the favors. (I ordered chocolates, and the caterer put them on the table.)

I didn't do bathroom baskets. (People are grown ups, they usually bring what they need with them!)

I assigned my husband to take care of the menu cards. (This is an item that was on my nice to have list, not my must have list. DH did them in his hotel room the night before the wedding. LOL! )

I got my sister to make the programs. (Again on my nice to have list, I would not have been upset if they didn't get done.)

We didn't do big bridal party gifts. (We had my sister and his brother, instead of a big gift we paid for their wedding day attire. My sister also got a necklace and DH's brother also got cufflinks. Our Moms got a monogramed handkerchief that I ordered on-line.)

The only tasks I had to do myself were:
Timeline for the day.
Final meeting (on phone) with the vendors,
Seating chart and place cards.
Pack stuff for the Wedding night

rands09 · July 2010

Ditto PP...

Especially about a lot of the extra things that seem cool, but really only add to your chore list as the time gets closer...

Let's see...at one month out, pretty much everything was done that could be done at that point. I was still working out menu and linen issues, but only because the then coordinator at my site was not very good (he has since been canned), and he was supposed to have all of that handled and he did a houdini on me in the last weeks prior to the wedding, it seemed!

But I digress -
1. I also didn't do bathroom baskets, for the same reason mentioned above.

2. I didn't do welcome baskets at the hotel (it sounded nice, but the hotels near where I was married were nice ones, and they tend to take care of their guests pretty well...after all, that is their business!)

3. In lieu of favors, we donated to the ASPCA in honor of our wedding. It was nice to give to a cause near to our hearts, and also no work involved. They sent us these really nice tent cards with a message on them to place at each seat.

4. We purposely chose a venue that did not need a lot of decorating (inside or out), so that cut down on last minute things to do in that department...

5. Keep it simple...we kept it simple. I agree with pp, that while many
of the unique and pretty ideas on the knot were tempting...in the end, we didn't want to put on a "show". It was our wedding - a celebration of our committment to one another; so we tried not to get lost in the endless details of putting on "the perfect day", and instead focused on creating an environment that was romantic and elegant - and that focused on the reason we were there!

That being said, each couple is different, and everyone's idea of their wedding day will be different as well. I can say, though, that of all the brides that I talked with both during and after their weddings, one thing seemed to be common - the less the "fuss", the less the "stress"!

Amy52582 · July 2010

thanks everyone for all the feedback! I think I'm doing okay with not having any extraneous projects. I'm definitely not doing bathroom baskets. I wasn't going to do hotel bags but both our Moms wanted to so they are taking care of that - I am completely uninvolved! Table numbers should be done soon and those are pretty easy and almost relaxing! Center pieces and all decorating is done by the venue and florist so I'm good there!

I originally didn't want to do place cards and do a neat seating chart to display, but I think it may be easier just to have my FMIL print out the cards herself since she volunteered. She also volunteered for programs - I think she secretly wants to work at kinkos or something!

I need to finish the matted signature frame for our engagement pic for people to sign (and get a little pen cup and some nice pens), then a card box for the gift table. Do I need a sign for that? I feel weird, like having a giant sign saying "GIVE ME PRESENTS AND MONEY!"

weezie825 · July 2010

I don't think you need a sign. Guests that bring a gift will be looking for the gift table. Also, someone from your caterering staff can direct them to the appropriate area if the giant pile of crate and barrel boxes isn't enough of a clue. LOL.

Also, I didn't have a card box and it was fine. My caterer put out a pretty silver tray and the guests laid thier cards on that. (It was in an area where I didn't have to worry that anyone would walk off with the cards.)

Also, if you are italian, the tradition is to hand the cards to the bride. I actually got quite a few in the receiving line and at dinner. Anything I got I handed off to my sister/MOH who made sure they made it back to my house.

ajerome21 · July 2010

Everything will fall into place.... like everyone said do the important things now (seating chart, etc), other things that are less important such as bathroom baskets put on the back burner and if you don't get to it, you just don't get to it. It's not going to make or break your wedding. I got rid of so much extra stress when I decided to cut a few things - such as those bathroom baskets. They would have been a nice touch but it's not worth the time or stress.

Breath, knock out the important things, and if you have time for the little things then you can worry about it. This month will fly by! Have a few people pitch in to help.

You asked for what people would liked to have done differently - The only thing I wished I would have started working on earlier were my favors. But like everything else, it got done and fell into place. Also, I did not have my BM's do one thing. They offered to help and I wish I would have accepted, it would have saved some time and stress.

Good Luck!

SweetCFly · July 2010

I'm really late on this one... tried to post from my phone the other day but it wouldn't let me.

I definitely had the same freakout!!! It's totally normal. I foung that making lists realllllly helped. You can visualize what you're checking off and it makes it so much easier. My mom and dad and DH and I would get together every Sunday and make revised lists so we were all on the same page. It really helped. I even had a major meltdown 2 days before the wedding... but I used a list to help me, and it was smooth sailing after that.

Good luck! This month is going to FLY by so be ready for it

Already married ladies - Help me not freak out please

Re: Already married ladies - Help me not freak out please

Choose Another Board

Search Boards