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A Cold MOB

cddelagdocddelagdo
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in Moms and Maids
We have just begun planning our wedding and we are both really exited. Both sets of parents have given us some money and he plans to pitch in as well. Still anytime I go to my mother for planning advice she turns cold and uncomfotable like I'm placing her in an unwanted position. I know she loves my fiance but at the same time I cant help but feel that shes going to be of no moral help during the process. I don't quite know how to handle her anymore do I keep trying to include her or just give up all together?
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Re: A Cold MOB

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure what involvement you are trying to include her in be it just opinions on decor, flowers, or vendors. But I say unless she asks about something or even ask her if she would like to be involving and if so what area, assume she just isn't interested and continue on without her opinion. 
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  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you asked her outright? Just say, "Mom, I've noticed when I mention wedding stuff you seem a little distant. Is it just me or is something wrong?" Then see where the conversation takes you. 
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_cold-mob?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c1d87540-299b-4aab-b5a6-7dfca6c3d9e1Post:80606101-c4c1-48d4-b634-85e074f26715">Re: A Cold MOB</a>:
    [QUOTE]We'd all like for mom to be as excited about the wedding as we are - but face it, many MOBs (and brides) find the planning boring. Stop sharing your plans with her, and bounce ideas off your fiance instead. You can't be disappointed that way.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    This for wedding planning for now.  She may relax as time passes, so give her room to come back into the process should that happen.
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  • cddelagdocddelagdo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all for you advice I really think you are all right to let her be as involved as she want without letting her decision hurt my feelings.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    I"m curious about one thing.  Are you perhaps the only daughter, or the last to leave the nest?  Any chance she isn't coping well with that?

    If she is normally like this, your wedding will change nothing.  Don't expect anything that you usually see with her.

    If she isn't normally like this, perhaps she is having some difficulty in letting go.  If this may be the case, take her to lunch and have a quiet chat.  She may have things on her mind that will surprise you.

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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_cold-mob?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c1d87540-299b-4aab-b5a6-7dfca6c3d9e1Post:80606101-c4c1-48d4-b634-85e074f26715">Re: A Cold MOB</a>:
    [QUOTE]We'd all like for mom to be as excited about the wedding as we are - but face it, many MOBs (and brides) find the planning boring. Stop sharing your plans with her, and bounce ideas off your fiance instead. You can't be disappointed that way.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    Ditto this. The planning process most of the time is only fun for the bride because it's their event. Sure, other people will be excited for you-but not with the same enthusiasm :-)
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