Crazy Centerpiece idea?

[Deleted User] · October 2010

For my wedding reception the one thing I wanted that I thought would be really cool would be to have Beta Fish (in a round bowl with teal glass pebbles) for the centerpiece. I thought it would be different and fun, but not everyone shares my enthusiasm. Am I being a little crazy or does my idea sound like a good one?

Notes: My wedding is in May, and the colors are Teal and Silver. The tables are (I believe) rectangle, the flowers are red roses and white calla lilies, and the reception is being held at a hall (like where people would go to play Bingo) but they have a dance floor and a bar and everything.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

No Actually I love beta fish and planned on keeping them after the reception - with the exception of one female I was planning on giving to my grandmother so her beta, Jaws, would have a mate. I understand completely they are living creatures. I have no intentions of harming them. Infact it goes against what I believe to hurt animals. "In it harm none do as you will."

Thank you amityr1976, for the benefit of the doubt.

amityr1976 · October 2010

BreenaLJ...good for you...this is your day....if you read the other posts in FULL you will see an experienced fish shop owner say that this is not going to hurt the fish. People who are worried about "fish shots", or drunk people, or children must have trashy friends. None of mine would do this.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

My children are the youngest at one and four, and my four year old had a pet goldfish. He took care of it, fed it every day and loved it like there was no tomorrow. I don't plan to have people that drunk at the reception - my bartender knows to cut them off lol. And I don't have a lot of heavy drinkers. I also planned it for 11:30am in hopes there would be less drinking. I did read all of the other posts (and laughed at some parts). I didn't realize it was so controversial. I do think some of it seems like a little bit of over reaction, but to each their own. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. (And thanks so much for yours ^_^)

kristinanddan · October 2010

Actually the music and vibrations can be bad for the fish.
And what if some die - how gross to have dead fish floating in front of you while tring to eat dinner. And if they're mid poop during dinner - double gross.

It's a terrible idea, plain and simple. You wouldn't put a puppy on a platter as a centerpiece, why do it to a fish?

amityr1976 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:3f85d2df-ac6d-490a-b2e6-fb7fc338480b">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually the music and vibrations can be bad for the fish. And what if some die - how gross to have dead fish floating in front of you while tring to eat dinner.
Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

Kristina...I have a quick question. If an experienced fish store owner is saying that it's not goint to hurt the fish why shouldn't she be believed? Do you have similar experience? I'm really not trying to be snarky...just wondering. I would hope that if you buy the fish from a reputable pet shop they should be able to live for a least a day or two. When my friend did this for her wedding we had someone check right before the reception for any dead fish and had purchased extra fish just in case....There were no dead fish and every single one made it through the reception just fine. IDK...maybe she was just lucky. It would seem that as long as there aren't speakers on the tables directed at the centerpieces they should be fine....vibration wise. Like I say, I'm not trying to be bit**y just curious.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

Honestly? I'd leave a reception where fish were used as centerpieces without sticking around to eat. It's just unsettling. I know a lot of people feel the same way.

amityr1976 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:931bba45-0975-4c0c-9692-e9110209dc05">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly? I'd leave a reception where fish were used as centerpieces without sticking around to eat. It's just unsettling. I know a lot of people feel the same way.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Wow...you would leave a reception over something like this....Aren't you at a wedding to celebrate the love of two people who have decided before friends and family to spend the rest of their lives together? If you would leave over a couple of fish, maybe you shouldn't have been there in the first place. Isn't friendship about being able to spend time with someone even though you may not agree with every decision they make. If someone left my wedding recption over something like this we would NOT be friends in the future...and bonus...one more left over wedding favor for me!!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

amityr1976 · October 2010

Wow...some people...are you equating a fish with a kitten? The fish will be FINE people....take a deep breath....get off your soap box and enjoy the world. SOOO tragic to see people use these boards to berate other people who have a different design sense. Although kitten centerpieces....hmmm now there's an idea.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:fbcc3611-3d0b-499f-8f11-46559b2e0491">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea? : Wow...you would leave a reception over something like this....Aren't you at a wedding to celebrate the love of two people who have decided before friends and family to spend the rest of their lives together? If you would leave over a couple of fish, maybe you shouldn't have been there in the first place. Isn't friendship about being able to spend time with someone even though you may not agree with every decision they make. If someone left my wedding recption over something like this we would NOT be friends in the future...and bonus...one more left over wedding favor for me!!!
Posted by amityr1976[/QUOTE]
Yes, I would leave. People don't go to a wedding for the sole purpose of pouring out their love and adulation on the couple to the exclusion of all other concerns. They go to have fun, and since seeing animals being mistreated would put a distinct damper on my fun, I would leave. If you're so thoroughly disgusted by the idea of people being able to think about something other than YOUYOUYOU during the wedding, well, you're in for a very unpleasant surprise when your own comes around.

amityr1976 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:06a78e34-7f3d-4e51-81ad-3d6f5b59ab9c">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea? : Yes, I would leave. People don't go to a wedding for the sole purpose of pouring out their love and adulation on the couple to the exclusion of all other concerns. They go to have fun, and since seeing animals being mistreated would put a distinct damper on my fun, I would leave. If you're so thoroughly disgusted by the idea of people being able to think about something other than YOUYOUYOU during the wedding, well, you're in for a very unpleasant surprise when your own comes around.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

You still haven't told me how having a beta in a properly sized bowl, with nothing toxic in the bowl, with no lights to heat the water, and no speakers on the tables to distrurb the fish with vibrations is mistreating the fish.

I do appreciate your warning though and do realize that the upcoming day isn't all about MEMEME, but then again I'm well adjusted enough to attend a wedding for the EXCLUSIVE purpose of pouring love and adulation on my friends...wow...what a horrible person I am for being able to look past it when people make decisions I don't personally agree with.

Thanks for the intersting back and forth ladies....you've made my evening entertaining to say the least.

mysticl · October 2010

Vibrations from speakers travel accross the floor and up table legs. They also travel through the air and there is always that one table that is too close to a speaker. I went to one wedding where the music was so loud the guests kept leaving the room, I can't imagine what it would have been like for an animal.

As for the fish dying, buying fish from a pet store is hit and miss some live for a long time and others die in a day.

OP, I'm guessing it is friends/family who are saying they don't like the idea. If people who are being invited to your wedding are put off by the idea that should be a hint to you that it won't go over well. While I'm usually all for "it's your wedding do what you want" in this case I'd rethink. Even if you don't think it's cruel other people obiviously do, is that what you want people saying about your wedding? Not how pretty you were, how good the food was, how much fun they had, but how you abused animals for the sake of pretty centerpieces.

sarahbutchin · October 2010

I have an irrational fear of fish, so I don't love this idea, also if you are serving fish, it could be weirder... just saying! The colors would be pretty though.

redheadtmk · October 2010

i went to a wedding this summer that had goldfish in thier center pieces. I loved it. As long as the bowl has enough water and there is nothing toxic in it, the fish are fine. If this is what you want to do, I say go for it. Just dont let PETA hear about!

megjm.614 · October 2010

Centerpiece idea aside... why do people keep comparing kittens and puppies to fish? That's ridiculous. Yeah, they're both living and breathing animals but there's a huge difference.

megjm.614 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:e678ba87-c8fe-4b29-84ea-65f14d2a97fb">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]Centerpiece idea aside... why do people keep comparing kittens and puppies to fish? That's ridiculous. Yeah, they're both living and breathing animals but there's a huge difference.
Posted by megjm.614[/QUOTE]
That's why I included that statement... I was not commenting on whether it is ok and/or humane to use fish as centerpieces and I never said they shouldn't be treated with respect. I was commenting on the fact that kittens and puppies have a much broader spectrum of emotion, cognitive ability, and sense of pain than fish. Humans have a much broader spectrum of emotion than do puppies/kittens, hence why you wouldn't put your child in a cage. But since we're all living, breathing animals then we should all be treated the same, right? Comparing puppies to fish is not comparing apples to apples.

glam70s · October 2010

I won't add my own opinion to this mix, but I will say that if this is so controversial on this board, it's very likely that there are will be at least a few people at the wedding who would feel badly about it as well. Regardless of whether it's right or wrong and whether it's cruel or not ultimately is not the point here. The point is whether guests will perceive it as cruel, and undoubtedly at least a few of them would.

The best part is that you might never hear about it - it would just be talked about behind your back, potentially for years to come, depending on how offended your guests were.

vsgal · October 2010

Just because they don't wag their tails or purr doesn't mean they don't have people recognition. Just because they don't make audible noises doesn't mean they don't feel pain. Just because they don't roll over or fetch on command doesn't mean they don't have cognitive skills.

frogurt814 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_crazy-centerpiece-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b1e691cd-23c7-4a60-a70a-58c2e6270bb0Post:18fc97ef-eee9-4751-815b-854e64bb4ccf">Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sketti...a appreciate the tone of your response. And yes I agree fish and cats are both living creatures that require proper care to survive. My only point in saying that the fish should live for a day or two was in response to people saying that they would die during the reception. As long as you have the recommended 1/2 gallon of water per fish, have nothing toxic in the bowls, don't have lights close enough to heat the water, and don't have speakers on the tables where vibrations will could hurt the fish why would this be improper care? Why would the fish be any more likely to die than if you took them home directly from a pet store? It's not like she's talking about flushing the fish after the recpetion. And as far as the pooping argument goes...If my recption is so boring that people are sitting around the table staring so intently at the fish that they see it poop, I'm a failure as a hostess.
Posted by amityr1976[/QUOTE]
So if you don't want/don't expect your guests to be looking at the fish then why bother having the fish at all? You don't have to stare intently at a fish to see fish poop.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

Thank you all of you who posted (especially the non-snarky posts) I was geniunely interested in honest feedback. I wouldn't want to hurt the fish at all. And I honestly figured the best place to find out what I needed to know was here. I'm sorry my post seemed to upset and offend you (though next time a little less snark would be nice) that was not at all my intention.

And since you had good points I think I will for-go the fishie centerpieces for something else... maybe candles...

redheadtmk · October 2010

rnlynn-- i agree. i just participated in a abortion debate thread and it was totally respectful, thoughtful, and stimulating. at one point i commented that it was crazy that the fish post was way more out of control!

Crazy Centerpiece idea?

Re: Crazy Centerpiece idea?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards