Looking for Brides with Two Weddings

Knot Jennifer · January 2013

Looking for Brides with Two Weddings

Are you or did you have two weddings? Maybe it was for religious reasons, maybe it was to accommodate families in more than one area, the reasons are endless! Would you be interested in speaking about why you chose to have two? If so, TheKnot.com is looking for you! If this sounds like you, please email the following information ASAP to sfraiman@xogrp.com:

Name:

Contact Info (daytime & evening numbers, email address):

City, State:

Why did you choose to have two weddings?:

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

Really, Knot Jennifer? You're gonna post this on the etiquette board?

EDIT: And no, I don't mean that you should post this on any other board, either. "Two weddings" is a silly phrase and a ridiculous idea to put in self-important brides' heads. You get one wedding. The ceremony that makes you legally man and wife is your wedding. You can't do that twice unless you are divorced in between.

Carson386 · January 2013

Seriously? Completely against etiquette! You get one wedding day- the day your marriage is offical, anything after is a renewal of vows.

MoonlightSilver · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:b6a68dca-ec44-4c1d-8b45-c7a984dcf57e">Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Looking for Brides with Two Weddings Are you or did you have two weddings? Maybe it was for religious reasons, <strong>maybe it was to accommodate families in more than one area</strong>, the reasons are endless! Would you be interested in speaking about why you chose to have two? If so, TheKnot.com is looking for you! If this sounds like you, please email the following information ASAP to sfraiman@xogrp.com : Name: Contact Info (daytime & evening numbers, email address): City, State: Why did you choose to have two weddings?:
Posted by Knot Jennifer[/QUOTE]

<div><strong>Really?</strong> Of all the BS reasons to have a PPD,.that's got to be one of the worst. If your family lives in two areas, invite them to your <em>one</em> wedding. If I had a wedding in every location my family is at, I would have had at least 5. That's ridiculous.</div>

Maggie0829 · January 2013

So Knot Jennifer you have time to post such a horrible topic on the etiquette board and make it a sticky but you don't have the time to answer a PM from a mod? Nice.

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

We battle this question so often and now with your post (and a sticky no less), you just validated every "all about me" bride who needs to have her PPD.

CrystaH11 · January 2013

I think people, under most circumstancs should only have one wedding. However, not every situation is just clean cut. I had a friend in college who was Indian, and I mean her parents moved here from india and are very stuck in their ways as far as culture. She had traditional indian wedding in addition to the church ceremony that her and her fianc wanted. But for her family, it was considered very dishonerable to not have an indian wedding, so she did both.

If you're doing it just do it, or having a destination wedding then another one back home, then I think it's uncalled for.

AddieCake · January 2013

Holy wow. I can't believe this is posted here, either. You're actually making an all call for people to "I, I, Me, Me!" ???

LiLe422 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:b6a68dca-ec44-4c1d-8b45-c7a984dcf57e">Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Looking for Brides with Two Weddings Are you or did you have two weddings? Maybe it was for religious reasons, maybe it was to accommodate families in more than one area, the reasons are endless! Would you be interested in speaking about why you chose to have two? If so, TheKnot.com is looking for you! If this sounds like you, please email the following information ASAP to sfraiman@xogrp.com : Name: Contact Info (daytime & evening numbers, email address): City, State: Why did you choose to have two weddings?:
Posted by Knot Jennifer[/QUOTE]

You're joking, right?? C'mon, Knot Jennifer. You're basically validating every bride coming on here planning her ppd do-over.
Oh yeah, btw, there is no such thing as having two weddings (to the same person, without divorcing in between, of course.) But I'm sure you know this. Way to stir schitt up. TK's new low.

rusngl2 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:b6a68dca-ec44-4c1d-8b45-c7a984dcf57e">Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Looking for Brides with Two Weddings Are you or did you have two weddings? Maybe it was for religious reasons, maybe it was to accommodate families in more than one area, <strong>the reasons are endless</strong>! Would you be interested in speaking about why you chose to have two? If so, TheKnot.com is looking for you! If this sounds like you, please email the following information ASAP to sfraiman@xogrp.com : Name: Contact Info (daytime & evening numbers, email address): City, State: Why did you choose to have two weddings?:
Posted by Knot Jennifer[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah and <strong>NONE </strong>them are valid IMO, this is strictly a wedding industry generated idea to make as much money as possible off of brides and validating of the self entitlement of the current generations. </div>

rossetto2be · January 2013

Ok ladies, I'm going to speak up for those brides that ARE having 2 weddings for cultural/religious reasons.

In this day and age with cross-cultural and inter-racial marriages becoming more and more common, you'll see the 2 ceremony thing happen more and more often. In one way yes, you might think it is selfish of the couple when really all they want is for both of their cultures and religions to be represented in their union. This is the case for my fiance and I, we're having both a. Anglican church ceremony and a traditional Sri Lankan ceremony. Our church ceremony is just for our immediate family to attend and the Sri Lankan ceremony will have our extended family and friends attending and a reception afterwards. Are we asking for double the gifts or double the parties? Absolutely not!

I personally don't see an issue with cross-cultural marriages having 2 ceremonies, every couple's situation is different. Yes, only one of the ceremonies will be legally binding. So what? The whole point for us is showing those you care about the blending of not only two families but, two cultures. For some couples you'll need two days to do it :-)

rsanna · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:0bf9d4da-f6fa-47f9-b72b-6a7a6e27a3b3">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok ladies, I'm going to speak up for those brides that ARE having 2 weddings for cultural/religious reasons. In this day and age with cross-cultural and inter-racial marriages becoming more and more common, you'll see the 2 ceremony thing happen more and more often. In one way yes, you might think it is selfish of the couple when really all they want is for both of their cultures and religions to be represented in their union. This is the case for my fiance and I, we're having both a. Anglican church ceremony and a traditional Sri Lankan ceremony. Our church ceremony is just for our immediate family to attend and the Sri Lankan ceremony will have our extended family and friends attending and a reception afterwards. Are we asking for double the gifts or double the parties? Absolutely not! I personally don't see an issue with cross-cultural marriages having 2 ceremonies, every couple's situation is different. Yes, only one of the ceremonies will be legally binding. So what? The whole point for us is showing those you care about the blending of not only two families but, two cultures. For some couples you'll need two days to do it :-)
Posted by rossetto2be[/QUOTE]

I don't know if this is the case with you, but most of the time when people have "two weddings" (in the terms of what you are talking about) it is on the same day. Or maybe the ceremonies are a day apart, but in that case I believe it is usual for the second ceremony (or the first, whichever one really) is smaller and more intimate (much like if you wanted to have a small ceremony and a big reception later on kind of thing). Or people do a completely blended wedding where they have a single ceremony and reception and take different aspects of each culture.

However, I don't think that is the case in this post.

ETA: Not your post, but in Knot Jennifer's. And I also just read your post closer, and you are basically saying the same thing as me. And now I feel dumb. But hey, we are on the same page.

leia1979 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:01c77da6-3736-450d-92cd-3784dac919e5">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand Knot Jennifer, how can you have two weddings without getting a divorce in between? You get one wedding, it is the day you are legally married. Anything else is a re-run or a do-over. As for cross-cultural weddings, I get that it imposes challenges when the families have different expectations, but that just means the bride and groom have to pick the traditions important to them and incorporate them into a single ceremony.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

I don't 100% agree. Some ceremonies require different officiants. But if it's all in one day with a single reception at the end, I have no issue.

For example, I've had many friends have both a tea ceremony (family only) and western ceremony in the same day with a single reception in the evening. However, I also consider that a single wedding.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

Knot Jennifer, There is no such thing as a bride with two weddings. You are a bride once. The second time is play acting. The second time you are no longer a bride. The second time is not a wedding. It is a make believe show. Did you mean to post this on the Second forum?

NYCMercedes · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:d0a6cb41-08e4-4631-8966-6671ea2cdbda">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings : I don't 100% agree. Some ceremonies require different officiants. But if it's all in one day with a single reception at the end, I have no issue. For example, I've had many friends have both a tea ceremony (family only) and western ceremony in the same day with a single reception in the evening. However, I also consider that a single wedding.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

I agree with you, my prior post still standing. You said the magic words: one day with a single reception at the end.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:85a34a68-51e1-4208-98e4-1155c7aa7a0b">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]I think two weddings are acceptable iin two very specific situations: 1. When a gay couple has a wedding ceremony in a state where their marriage is not legally recognized, and then has a second JOP ceremony to make it legal once it's allowed. 2. When a close family member is dying and won't make it to the actual ceremony, I don't mind a small JOP ceremony so they can see the wedding, followed by a vow renewal and reception at a later date. In both cases, every. single. guest who comes to either ceremony should know 100% what's going on. There is never, ever an excuse to lie to any of your guests about your marital status. Other than those two cases, I can think of zero times when it's anything other than a PPD. ETA: And I don't really mind this being a sticky, as long as all of our responses stick around. It might lower the number of times we get this question on the regular boards if brides read this first and know the view on it here. A girl can dream, at least...
Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this 100%. I also think having 2 ceremonies in one day that cover the differing cultures and religion is perfectly acceptable as well because sometimes it can be very difficult to incorporate the traditions from both ceremonies into one. But only as long as they are on the same day.

TheVirginians · January 2013

Agree for a same sex couple who have to travel. Agree for two culturally diverse ceremonies on one day. Otherwise, a second wedding is a charade with actors.

Sharpschruter22 · January 2013

KnotJennifer is no better than KnotLily. Never replying is VERY RUDE!!!!!!

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:45ae0129-cfe4-4eaa-b7e9-29fb3451dba8">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Also be warned, when I responded to a similar post a few years ago about budget weddings, I was misquoted to high hog heaven. By the end of it, my MOH was calling demanding to know why he just read in USA Today that he would be doing all of our BM's and GM's hair free of charge. Not. Fun.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Now I have to know what the original quote even WAS. That's nuts.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, this sticky is gross.

</div>

Ajuliana · January 2013

My brother moved to Texas and had a civil ceremony there with immediate family and their Texas friends, and a convalidation ceremony in California the month after for the other side. I didn't realize it was such a terrible thing to do in so many people's eyes. All I know is that the people in California who couldn't afford to go to Texas were so grateful for the option to celebrate, and I'm sure the Texans felt the same way.

gypsylynn2005 · January 2013

Yikes. Ladies, please hold yourselves together with some class. It's not your wedding, you're not paying for it, and it doesn't affect you. Please show me where it's 'proper etiquette' that there is allowed only one wedding? Because I can show you where having two weddings was actual commonplace among ancient times, especially the Celtic. Regardless of your opinion, if you don't have something nice to say...don't say anything at all. It's not your job to judge others. In the end, we're all ending up with the man of our dreams! So let's be happy and let others celebrate how they wish. Stick together ladies. :

Dnrouse · January 2013

Think outside the box, ladies! There are some instances where couples get married due to circumstances like military, for example. The first time, yes, it's a wedding -- the "second time" is considered a reaffirmation. I had a friend whose husband was being deployed so they married with a justice of the peace and then had a large ceremony when he returned. Two ceremonies would be to accommodate traditions (Indian), families, etc. If you have family living overseas but they couldn't make it to the wedding location, there's nothing wrong with reinacting the day for those overseas.

freebread03 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:d41d44bc-3c88-4347-a25f-0f5a719234d0">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Think outside the box, ladies! There are some instances where couples get married due to circumstances like military, for example. The first time, yes, it's a wedding -- the "second time" is considered a reaffirmation. I had a friend whose husband was being deployed so they married with a justice of the peace and then had a large ceremony when he returned. Two ceremonies would be to accommodate traditions (Indian), families, etc. If you have family living overseas but they couldn't make it to the wedding location, there's nothing wrong with reinacting the day for those overseas.
Posted by Dnrouse[/QUOTE]

<div>Ah you are so right! I think it's ok to have two weddings if you're getting married for the benefits but don't want to tell your friends and family. I mean, why miss out on health insurance, additional living stipends, and other financial gain when you could just marry now in secret and then have a "real wedding" later! Knot Jennifer, you have your answer.</div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and gypsielynn-you're right, it's totally classy to lie to your friends and family and have a "real" wedding after that silly legal thing.</div>

rsanna · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:c0533e89-da34-4e19-970c-9f42a41456dd">Re:Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Yikes. Ladies, please hold yourselves together with some class. It's not your wedding, you're not paying for it, and it doesn't affect you. <strong>Please show me where it's 'proper etiquette' that there is allowed only one wedding?</strong> Because I can show you where having two weddings was actual commonplace among ancient times, especially the Celtic. Regardless of your opinion, if you don't have something nice to say...don't say anything at all. It's not your job to judge others. In the end, we're all ending up with the man of our dreams! So let's be happy and let others celebrate how they wish. Stick together ladies. :
Posted by gypsylynn2005[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't know about etiquette, but I feel like it is kind of impossible to get married twice. I mean, you are already married? How can you get married again? Or is that like, you didn't have the perfect birth/labor and delivery of your child, so you are just going to do it again? Because if you know how to do that, I'm sure a lot of people would love to have a go again at that as well.</div>

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

Everyone defending this idea, I feel the need to point something out: You can only have one WEDDING. Whatever the second ceremony you are doing is, is it NOT a wedding. It is a re-enactment of something that has already happened.

Defend it. Act like there's nothing wrong with the wording. Say we're being uptight.

However. The wedding industry has grown astronomically in the past decade. Many women now think that being a bride means that you get to do WHATEVER YOU WANT and all your guests must just go along with it. The epitome of this is the "two wedding!" mentatlity. "One day isn't good enough - I need TWO! I need THREE!!" "No, wait! I HAD FOUR!!!"

The point of a wedding is to end up married. However that happens is the correct way. Trying to make it happen two, three, four times is overkill and the ultimate in LOOK AT ME! Wake up. See it for what it is. Dress a sheep up as a cow but it is still a sheep.

If a couple wants to have a party after their wedding to celebrate with those who could not travel for it, then have at it. Go crazy. Drink the house down. But, for god's sake - it is not a wedding. It is a party. It is a celebration. Dressing up in clothes, walking up and down the aisle, play-acting a ceremony doesn't make it a wedding. I'd rather watch the real ceremony on a video than a play-act of something that has already happened.

Literally, the only way you can have two "weddings" is when the religious ceremony is not a legally binding ceremony. I understand that some people want to be married in the eyes of God so to those people, you have a wedding ceremony for legal reason followed by a wedding ceremony in religious reasons. However, in the US, this is not the case. Unless you live in a country where two ceremonies are needed, you are having a wedding and a party. Open your eyes.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:d41d44bc-3c88-4347-a25f-0f5a719234d0">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Think outside the box, ladies! <strong>There are some instances where couples get married due to circumstances like military, for example. The first time, yes, it's a wedding -- the "second time" is considered a reaffirmation. I had a friend whose husband was being deployed so they married with a justice of the peace and then had a large ceremony when he returned. </strong>Two ceremonies would be to accommodate traditions (Indian), families, etc. If you have family living overseas but they couldn't make it to the wedding location, there's nothing wrong with reinacting the day for those overseas.
Posted by Dnrouse[/QUOTE]

Why don't you bring this up over on the Military Brides board and see how well it goes over.

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:7d44d477-47b7-4d08-8674-ae3719e3338d">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone defending this idea, I feel the need to point something out: You can only have one WEDDING. Whatever the second ceremony you are doing is, is it NOT a wedding. It is a re-enactment of something that has already happened. Defend it. Act like there's nothing wrong with the wording. Say we're being uptight. However. The wedding industry has grown astronomically in the past decade. Many women now think that being a bride means that you get to do WHATEVER YOU WANT and all your guests must just go along with it. The epitome of this is the "two wedding!" mentatlity. "One day isn't good enough - I need TWO! I need THREE!!" "No, wait! I HAD FOUR!!!" The point of a wedding is to end up married. However that happens is the correct way. Trying to make it happen two, three, four times is overkill and the ultimate in LOOK AT ME! Wake up. See it for what it is. Dress a sheep up as a cow but it is still a sheep. If a couple wants to have a party after their wedding to celebrate with those who could not travel for it, then have at it. Go crazy. Drink the house down. But, for god's sake - it is not a wedding. It is a party. It is a celebration. Dressing up in clothes, walking up and down the aisle, play-acting a ceremony doesn't make it a wedding. I'd rather watch the real ceremony on a video than a play-act of something that has already happened. Literally, the only way you can have two "weddings" is when the religious ceremony is not a legally binding ceremony. I understand that some people want to be married in the eyes of God so to those people, you have a wedding ceremony for legal reason followed by a wedding ceremony in religious reasons. However, in the US, this is not the case. Unless you live in a country where two ceremonies are needed, you are having a wedding and a party. Open your eyes.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I'm starting a slow clap for you Joy, right now. . .

nsweare · January 2013

There is nothing wrong with having two "weddings" as long as the people invited to the second ceremony are aware that you are already legally married. It is most proper to call the second ceremony something other than "wedding", but it is ok to have more than one ceremony. The problem comes in when someone is trying to pretend that the second ceremony is the legal one. However, if everyone knows then it is ok. Also, per Emily Post, guests at the second ceremony/celebration do not give gifts.

courtski2004 · January 2013

I know someone who had two weddings, but it was to two different men and she had gotten a divorce between the two. The problem here is with calling the second charade a wedding. It isn't. Covalidation, reaffirmation, and vow renewal ceremonies are much different than the ladies who see nothing wrong with 2 PPDs.

Perpetuating the idea that it is acceptable for people to have two 'weddings' is ridiculous. For all of those people who have questioned it here and followed through despite all of the sane and correct etiquette advice from the ladies on this board to stumble on this post and see that a knot god basically validated the idea is just makes me cringe. Next, they'll just say, 'hey, TK says it is okay as long as I have a really good explaination for why I want to do it. I don't care what you mean girls say.'

To whomever said that the goal is to end up married to the 'man of your dreams' at the end of the DAY, yes, I agree. That DAY that you sign your marriage license regardless of how fancy it is, how many people are there to see it, no matter if you're wearing jorts or a ball gown. What sickens me are the people who treat it like 'if nobody is there to SEE me say my vows, then it isn't really real. It must be a grand production and I'll do what I want because I DESERVE it.' Those are the people who will see the OP and think that it is not only okay, but commonplace. AND if they have a good enough reason, their story might be in a magazine. GASP! Tell us your story, special snowflake. Those pesky rules don't apply to you.

Carson386 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_looking-for-brides-with-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:403f5ee8-8f4e-4ed7-8703-c4af44d83314Post:92e5fdd2-3cfb-429b-a87f-0c913c7249a8">Re: Looking for Brides with Two Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]Think outside the box, ladies! There are some instances where couples get married due to circumstances like military, for exampl Generations of military couples either had the wedding they could have at the moment, and accepted it, or waited until the soldier came home. Grandma and Grandpa drove all night from Texas to New Mexico (no blood tests or waiting period), waited for the courthouse to open, got married, got back in the car, and drove back to Texas. <strong>They wanted to be married before he left for World War II later that week. </strong>Grandma was too happy he came home alive to stamp her foot and pout about not having a poofy dress and seven-tiered cake.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

My grandparents were the same way. courthouse wedding 3 days before shipping out. They did have a vow renewal on the 25th and 50th anniversary, but most definitely did not call it a wedding.

melb2013 · January 2013

We're talking about this on a different board and I thought I'd share my post:

I actually don't have any sympathy for people who feel entitled to have the big celebration. It's not something that everyone gets and that's fine. My one set of grandparents eloped and then when my grandfather converted to their religion they were married in the Church- privately. They felt it was not dignified to have a large celebration when they were married twice. My other set of grandparents were married with immediate family only before my grandfather left for the Korean Way- this did not mean they later got to have a big celebration.

Oh and my parents eloped but had a somewhat larger (still only 50 people) celebration a month later. There is nothing wrong with doing it this way if you feel like you really want a party. She did not wear a wedding dress or any other those things, but they had a nice party that was catered for their family- it was not a second wedding where they reenacted something that had already happened.

There is never an excuse for having two "weddings" because there is no such thing.

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