I have always known that my FMIL was difficult to put it nicely. Well things have gone from bad to worse. She literally creates drama.
This past December she started a fight with me claiming my mom and I dont include her in enough stuff and that I am constantly rude to everyone. She also told me that her Daughter-in-law was very offended at my e-party because she did not meet the bridal party. However, her daughter-in-law/future sister in law (FSIL) was 2 months pregnant and felt really sick at the e-party, enough that she had to go lie down. I figured with my FSIL being sick, the last thing she would want to do would be walk around a meet every one especially since the smell of the food and alcohol was getting to her. My FMIL was prompted to start this argument by the fact that my two aunts heard her bad mouthing the e- party my parents threw and asked I her why she would do that.
Flash Forward to last night, my FSIL asked me why I was so two faced and fake to her. I was completely off guard so I asked her what she meant. Apparently my FMIL told her son and DIL that I called their wedding white trash. I was raised never to say such things to anyone! I also did not even think that especially since she and her husband paid for everything. I then ask her about being offended from the bridesmaid snub. My FSIL claimed she never said that and in actuality my FMIL was the harping on it and saying terrible stuff about me. As a side note, at the e-party, all my FMIL did was sit on a couch the whole time and never spoke to any one besides her sister and mother. My FSIL also told me she said she was too sick to walk around and meet any one when my FMIL brought it up.
I talked to my FI about it and he felt like I was making a bigger deal than needed. He never backs me up when it comes to her. And she wont cut the umbilical cord. Yet, after his mom and I had it out in December, I was told by my FI that I was the one causing the problems and that I should respect her more than I do which ultimately made me feel so guilty.
Today, I've been thinking about what was said from his mom and it makes me furious. My mother and another BM told me just to smile and remember this and keep my guard up. But I so desperately want to discuss with my FMIL and why she wants to put her two DILs at odds with each other. She also makes stuff a competition; like for the e-party I was constantly told by my FMIL that very few of her friends will be there because they dont want to make the hour drive south and that my family's friends will over power hers.
So what do I do? Do I calmly discuss it with her or do I just grin and bare it???