So FI and I went to meet with our deacon last night to start filling out the paperwork and planning our wedding ceremony. Come to find out (after we leave the meeting of course), FI was never baptized. In the Catholic church this is a very big deal, and it means we will not be able to have a sacramental marriage. To me, this is a very big deal, and something I've looked forward to all my life, and something I've especially looked forward to since getting engaged.
FI feels very bad and did some research last night when we found out. I was kind of a mess, although I know it's by no means his fault. I just can't help being a little disappointed. Basically, we can still get married IN a Catholic church by a Catholic clergyman, but our marriage is not considered a sacrament. Not sure if it's recognized by the church or not since it's not sacramental.
Not only am I sad that it affects marriage ceremony, but it also is affecting a little bit the way I feel about his parents. Almost everyone I know is baptized, it's just what we who are Christians (and Catholic's especially) do around here. They are from Georgia/NC, which is a primarily Protestant area. Fine, nothing wrong with that. Many Protestant faiths do emphasize baptism. But I guess Presbyterians or maybe just his parents don't believe in baptism the way we do. And so it wouldn't have been right I guess for FI's parents to baptize their child if that wasn't their interest/belief... although I know his grandmother is very upset because he called her to ask and check last night and after she checked her bible and their family records she told him his parents failed in their duty. But at the same time, I am thinking, "how could you as Christians NOT baptize your child!!!?'" because this is the 'culture' I guess I was raised in... I am trying not to focus on that and trying not to be just a little upset with them deep down. You can't change the past. I want to be upset with the Catholic Church for making this rule, but at the same time I understand why it is the rule, because the sacrament of baptism is pivotal to the Catholic faith. Ugh... so frustrating. It's pretty much just a fact of life.
I know it may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. I really wish it didn't mean so much to me, and that I wasn't upset about it. I know many many people don't have religion involved in their ceremony at all, much less have sacramental marriages and they live fine and happy lives with wonderful marriages. Thus, I am by no means judging this. But is was something I personally was looking forward to, and to building our marriage upon. The sacrament of marriage performed between the man and wife is so incredibly special to me and in our faith. I'm trying to figure out how to break it to our deacon... and how I'm going to deal with this, as it's something I've looked forward to ever since I can remember.
I'm just trying to focus on the fact that we have a very strong loving relationship that we have built over the past 8 years. We are more in love with each other every day, and it just never ceases to amaze me. And we will still have a beautiful and more than meaningful marriage, despite what happens during our ceremony.
Sorry so long, I think I just need to vent.