Difficult Maid Of Honor

joneswedding13 · October 2012

I have one maid of honor who is giving me grief already. She wants her sister, who is fresh out of cosmotology school to do her hair and make up instead of the company that I am hiring for the rest of the bridal party. I told her that would be offensive to the vendor and basically rude. What do you think?

[Deleted User] · October 2012

Regardless if you're hiring this company to handle the hair and makeup for the WP you should just let this go. People can get very uncomfortable having people touch their hair and face that they don't know. This is not one of those issues worth fighting over. It's thoughtful of you to (I'm assuming here) pay for everyone's hair and makeup but she doesn't have to take you up on it. Let her sister do her hair and makeup and move on.

ohwhynot85 · October 2012

You don't pay, you have no say.

MyNameIsNot · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_difficult-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:28d7c2f0-8268-4dbe-83c0-3716fb594b94Post:ccbc360c-858e-431e-b1f4-355879a4678e">Difficult Maid Of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]I have one maid of honor who is giving me grief already. She wants her sister, who is fresh out of cosmotology school to do her hair and make up instead of the company that I am hiring for the rest of the bridal party. I told her that would be offensive to the vendor and basically rude. What do you think?
Posted by joneswedding13[/QUOTE]

<div>You are being really pushy to try to force her to have <em>anyone</em> do her hair and makeup. </div><div>
</div><div>If she'd rather her sister did it, that's her decision. It doesn't matter if her sister is a professional or not. You don't, however, have to pay her sister. If she opts out of your professional, she can pay her own way. </div>

Jen4948 · October 2012

If you're not paying for the vendor, you need to leave it alone.

I'd leave it alone regardless.

SJM7538 · October 2012

How is this being difficult?

I'm willing to bet the reason you chose this vendor is because you're comfortable with them doing your hair and makeup - well guess what your MOH is comfortable with her sister.

Your girls want to look beautiful on this day as well so let her do what she's comfortable with. Also - whats the story on payment? Are you paying this vendor to do everyone's makeup or are you making the girls pay for themselves? If that was the case I would most certainly be going with my sister, who is most likely free, or doing it myself.

Give your girls options, don't dictate.

Peledreamsofrain · November 2012

There are two possible scenarios here:

A.) you are not paying, and expecting her to pay. This is massively rude of you and probably why she is resorting to a family member. This is not her big day, she's not interested in dropping tons of cash, and that's financially responsible of her.

B.) You are paying for it. Trust me, the vendor doesn't care as long as they have $$. Unless you are hiring some kind of high end artist with his/her head stuck up his/her fancy butt. Which I doubt.

There you go, either way, no biggie, let her sister do it.

misssunshine17 · November 2012

You are definitely the one being difficult here.

SKPM · November 2012

In Response to Re:Difficult Maid Of Honor:[QUOTE]I have one maid of honor who is giving me grief already. She wants her sister, who is fresh out of cosmotology school to do her hair and make up instead of the company that I am hiring for the rest of the bridal party. I told her that would be offensive to the vendor and basically rude. What do you think? Posted by joneswedding13[/QUOTE]
Sorry, you're being rude. Your BMs and MOHs are attending a party, and they'll likely be standing in front of your guests for the duration of the ceremony. That's all. Let them be comfortable, most especially if you aren't footing the bill for everyone.

jnjmommy0609 · November 2012

Your getting married...choose your battles and save yourself some stress. This really isn't a big deal

mcda04 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_difficult-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:28d7c2f0-8268-4dbe-83c0-3716fb594b94Post:ccbc360c-858e-431e-b1f4-355879a4678e">Difficult Maid Of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]I have one maid of honor who is giving me grief already. She wants her sister, who is fresh out of cosmotology school to do her hair and make up instead of the company that I am hiring for the rest of the bridal party. I told her that would be offensive to the vendor and basically rude. What do you think?
Posted by joneswedding13[/QUOTE]

And the problem with her sister doing her hair and make up is?

Why would you hire someone to do your BP's hair without discussing with them first?

madeline&matt · November 2012

My BMs are getting a combination of hair and/or makeup and one is doing everything herself. My hair/makeup person could not possibly care less. They deal with this all the time. Ask yourself if potentially pissing off someone who I assume is your very close or best friend (giving that she's your MOH) just so she can have her hair done by the same person. I'd vote no on that if I were you.

[Deleted User] · November 2012

It's not rude. My girls have, for the most part, opted to get either hair OR make up. We'll be at the salon as a group, but they'll be doing their own hair/make up (whichever they aren't getting done) there while the rest of everything gets done. My vendor doesn't care at all as long as her minimum is met.

Not to mention, unless you're paying, you shouldn't be requiring your girls to get anything done, much less by your vendor. If you are paying, even then I think the most you can do is let her know you were planning on treating so you could all go together and get done up, but accept graciously if she refuses.

SJM7538 · November 2012

We still haven't received clarification on the payment issue.

Are you paying for this? Or are the girls required to pay for themselves?

joneswedding13 · November 2012

Wow! This was my first and most likely my last time posting anythiing here. Just about every response was a bit harsh. I thought this was a friendly community. I apologize for the lack of information in my 1st post
1.I am paying for the makeup and hair vendor
2.the "Difficult Maid Of Honor" is my lifelong friend but latey she has been distant and complicated giving me grief all through the process instead of being supportive as a maid of honor should be

I am personally wanting all of my Bridal party to use the same makeup and hair vendor, because some of my bridal party members normally wear "outrageous" and "over the top" makeup. I want all of my bridal party to look naturally beautiful with an extra glow or dust of beauty.Some of you think that im being a "dictator" but im honestly just a bride wanting my bridal party to look the best that I know they can.
I envisioned my wedding day with me and my ladies getting ready together all in one place.

Summer2011Bride · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_difficult-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:28d7c2f0-8268-4dbe-83c0-3716fb594b94Post:8b83cbd1-ae9d-43ba-ae32-d93a6dc8c469">Re: Difficult Maid Of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! This was my first and most likely my last time posting anythiing here. Just about every response was a bit harsh. I thought this was a friendly community. I apologize for the lack of information in my 1st post 1.I am paying for the makeup and hair vendor 2.the "Difficult Maid Of Honor" is my lifelong friend but latey she has been distant and complicated giving me grief all through the process instead of being supportive as a maid of honor should be<strong> I am personally wanting all of my Bridal party to use the same makeup and hair vendor, because some of my bridal party members normally wear "outrageous" and "over the top" makeup. I want all of my bridal party to look naturally beautiful with an extra glow or dust of beauty.Some of you think that im being a "dictator" but im honestly just a bride wanting my bridal party to look the best that I know they can. </strong>I envisioned my wedding day with me and my ladies getting ready together all in one place.
Posted by joneswedding13[/QUOTE]

You can't dictate the type of make-up they wear. Personally, I would find it really offensive to have one of my good friends want to choose my make-up so I would look good enough for her wedding day. You're implying they look like crap normally. Your BMs shouldn't look like clones of each other on your wedding day, just like they don't look that way normally. You should want them to be happy and look like themselves, with both their hair and makeup. Trying to change that so they look good in your pictures is insulting.

lilmiron · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_difficult-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:28d7c2f0-8268-4dbe-83c0-3716fb594b94Post:8c712a8d-5415-4a27-a129-af7b28c33761">Re: Difficult Maid Of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just behonest with her. Let her know how you feel, it's your wedding day. When she gets married it will be her day and what she wants, she gets, and if she is already married then she should already understand. good luck Please do not follow this very bad advice. It stops being "the bride's day" the moment she chooses to involve others in it, which she does by selecting a wedding party, and inviting guests. It's also the groom's day. You know.....the groom? The guy the bride is marrying? It's his day, too. P.S. lilmiron is a vendor. This is the only post she's made that is not about her website. Nice try.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>I am sorry. I am not a vendor. just a friend helping a friend. :) I guess I was wrong to post. anyway, have a good night all. </div>

dlateef · November 2012

I think that what you're asking of your bridesmaids is fair. I am also asking and paying for my bridesmaids to get their nails and makeup done. If, however, someone does not want to do this, they will be more than welcomed to make their own choice. As long as they look great for pictures, I don't really care if they do it or not. On the other hand, I have a few bridesmaids with obvious tatoos and I've asked them to cover them (just for pictures) and they have been gracious and more than happy to do that for me. I've also offered to pay for that as well. Hypothetically, if they did not want to cover them, they can respectfully decline to be in the wedding. Me and my fiance are dishing out some major money for everyone attending the wedding, especially the bridal party. Everyone should be comfortable, but we should also get what we want, within reason. I would suggest that, no matter what you ask of your bridal party, just make sure you ask them the right way and keep the most important things to you into perspective. AND DON'T LET ANYONE WHO IS NOT PAYING A DIME FOR YOUR WEDDING HAVE MORE THAN 2 CENTS OF AN OPINION.

dtbluv · November 2012

I think there are tons of reasons your MOH might want her sister to do her hair/make up.

I have incredibly difficult hair to work with (long, thick, super curly, tends to frizz, and is too heavy for most classic updos). The best hairstyles I have ever gotten have been from my mom and my 14 yo cousin, both of which (whom?) absolutely no training beyond playing with my hair on a regular basis. Maybe your MOH knows her sister can make her hair look her best.
I have a friend with anxiety issues that she hides extremely well (most people don't know about them at all, I only know because she told me) and she would have a breakdown if a stranger did her hair and make up.
Maybe there are some weird family dynamics and your MOH feels obligated to let her sister do her hair.

Whatever the reason is, it's not a big deal. Even if the sister doesn't have a ton of formal experience, she knows the MOH very well, and will do a beautiful job. And on the bright side, it's one less person to pay for, so you're saving money!

Seriously, don't try to change your MOH's mind about this, just try to change how you're thinking of it. Your MOH is supporting her sister, and saving you cash. Both of those things are awesome! There is no problem here, just repeat that to yourself until you realize it's true!

Difficult Maid Of Honor

Re: Difficult Maid Of Honor

Choose Another Board

Search Boards