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Christian Weddings

General church invitation?

Are any of you inviting your entire church? FI and I both have fairly small congregations, and know most of the members quite well. I'm trying to decide whether to extend an invitation to both churches in addition to the individual invites that our closest church friends will receive. I'm also fairly certain that both churches will likely throw wedding showers for us, and I'd feel bad if a church member came to it who later didn't get an invitation. Thoughts?

Re: General church invitation?

  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I know a few churches (not the couple or their family) will put an announcement in the bulletin or somehow let people know when the ceremony (not the reception) is so they can attended. Not sure how this works but it does. I would ask the minister/ priest about the etiquette for this.

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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    At my home church, it is common (and almost expected) that any ceremonies held in the sanctuary are open to the church, and announcements are usually put in the bulletin a few weeks before the ceremony.  Most receptions are private, and that is often noted in the announcement as well.  If the couple is having a reception in the Fellowship Hall and wish to leave it open to all who come to the ceremony, that is noted as well.  We aren't getting married at my church, so we don't have to worry about this. 
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I did not give an open invitation to church members.  I didn't get married near home so it wouldn't have made sense.  But I'm wondering what other couples have done in the past at your church.  I personally would feel weird if invited to a ceremony and not the reception, but that isn't a common occurrence at my church so maybe that's why.
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  • edited December 2011
    We're having our wedding at our church and are opening the ceremony to our church members as well as the sister churches in our organization. The reception is an adult private reception. We will be having a light reception in our dining hall downstairs for those who will not be at the reception
    Mrs. Married Lady
  • edited December 2011
    I've never heard of this private reception being tacked on to an open ceremony--interesting idea.

    My parents chose who they wanted to invite from my home church.  Cody and I chose who we wanted to invite from our current church.  Our present pastor wanted to open the invitation to everyone and we explained that we couldn't afford to feed everyone.   I also worried about the shower thing--but I've noticed that happens quite a bit--open shower invitation, but select invites to the ceremony, and I think most people are pretty understanding--they  may not come to the shower if they aren't invited to the wedding.

    Of course, a couple at church did invite everyone last year.  We weren't close to them at all, but our Pastor was adamant that they'd like for use to be there.  It was a small group and we felt a little awkward, but the couple was so welcoming we soon felt like friends.  And now we are good friends. :)

    I think it's up to you and your fiance.  If you feel comfortable with everyone, and can afford to feed them or don't have qualms about a private reception, then go for it.  But I don't think you need to feel obligated to.  It's your wedding.  Invite who you want to be there.
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  • KikoLoveAndiKikoLoveAndi member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My church is rather small too, and the ceromony and reception is there so i invited everyone, (But my list was small and this was a short engagement so i know not many people can come.)
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_general-church-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:baea4e37-8957-4cb2-a01e-7b1db67f09c8Post:5608484e-b477-429e-a4ff-4f77d686c5b3">Re: General church invitation?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did not give an open invitation to church members.  I didn't get married near home so it wouldn't have made sense.  But I'm wondering what other couples have done in the past at your church.  I personally would feel weird if invited to a ceremony and not the reception, but that isn't a common occurrence at my church so maybe that's why.
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

    It's a common occurence at my church (and most churches in my area).

    An open ceremony to the church is usually considered an exception to the rule that you can only invite people to both ceremony and reception.

    The couple can opt to allow anyone to come in (I have a large church, so space isn't an issue at all) who would like to. A lot of people come actually. It isn't expected that if they aren't invited that they'll bring a gift, but the church usually throws a shower for the bride as well. Again, another accepted exception to the rule.

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