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Bridesmaid Question

AngelaN611AngelaN611 member
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in Connecticut
I have five bridesmaids.  One is my twenty year old cousin and the other four are between the ages of 28 and 30.  I don't want my cousin who is younger and only really knows my MOH to feel left out, but I also don't want her to feel uncomfortable.  My MOH is planning an overnight trip to Block Island for my bachelorette, and I don't know if I should invite my cousin.  She is underage, so I don't want her to get left alone/behind if we go out to a bar  . . . but again, I don't want her to feel left out if I do not invite her.  Any advice?  Thanks!
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Re: Bridesmaid Question

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd say, "MOH, thanks for letting me in on the plans!  I know I'm not supposed to say anything but my one request is that the party be something that can include all the BMs."

    Beyond that, stay out of it.  MOH should be planning something that's inclusive but if she doesn't, it reflects poorly on her not you.
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    akulajiakulaji
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    edited December 2011
    I personally think it would be really inconsiderate to exclude her.  She's a bridesmaid!  We're not talking about a 14 year old girl... she's an adult.  She should definitely be included.  I think you also have to be considerate of the situation and the fact that she's underage. It is totally possible to plan a fun bachelorette outing that doesn't revolve around clubbing or drinking.  I personally find those types of gatherings to be more fulfilling anyway, but that's just me.   Maybe you can look into fun daytime activities that you can all do but are special... a day at the spa maybe followed by a really nice dinner.  If you're dead set on clubbing it then you should probably reconsider the locale.  She would be totally isolated if she went and was left by herself in the evening... or she may even choose not to come for fear of being left out... either way you cut it... she's left out.  If you stick closer to home, you can do things during the day and evening with her and follow that by the club much later that evening.  If she's close to home, then she won't have to feel stranded on an island by herself (literally) when you guys take off to 'party' without her.  If you're dead set on Block Island, I would suggest your MOH checking into some of the places there to see if they allow underage people in later at night.  There are quite a few places that are restaurants that have bands later, so they may allow underaged people there if you have dinner and stick around.
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    AngelaN611AngelaN611 member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice.  I don't think my MOH had anything but good intentions.  She knows I tend to be anxious about things that are out of my control and that I love love love Block Island, so I know she was just trying to make me happy.  Perhaps the way we are planning some things is unconventional, but I  actually think she is doing a fabulous job.  I spoke to her tonight and we are going to work things out so my cousin is included wihtout feeling uncomfortable.  Thanks again. 
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    christikaochristikao
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the girls. I've only been to Block Island once years ago but then I had a fake id so can't tell you if there's any 18+ places. 
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    hharringtonrdhharringtonrd member
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    edited December 2011
    Block Island is AMAZING!  You will have so much fun!  I think your cousin will understand.  Invite her to go out with you guys for daytime beaching, etc. and see if you can sneak her in.  I've spent quite a few years out in Block, it's pretty low tech (which is a big part of what makes it so great).  I doubt they have license scanners, etc like they do in CT.  Or you may be able to call ahead and just be honest.  Explain that there will be a group of you going out, planning to spend good money and have a good time but that she's part of the bridal party and you'd really like her to come along...

    I have a feeling I'll run into similar issues with my bridal party in the upcoming months.  I have 7 bridesmaids, 2 are cousins, 1 cousin is 18 and everyone else is 22+.  I had chatted with my MOH about going out in New Haven, but didn't know if I should leave her out.  It's supposed to be a surprise but I'm pretty sure my MOH and future-BIL is planning a bachelor/bachelorette at a restaurant so hopefully they'll let her be part of the party even though she's underage. 

    Good luck!
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    akulajiakulaji
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    edited December 2011
    That's great that your MOH is so helpful and wants to make everything perfect.  I'm glad you talked to her.  I'm sure that everything will work out fine and you'll have a wonderful time.  If you can work out Block Island, I think you guys will have a ton of fun.
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    tannymcgeetannymcgee member
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    edited December 2011
    aw bring her along!! if you go to bar slash restaurants she will be able to get in easily.  and -  is she blonde? she can borrow my license!!! :)
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    AngelaN611AngelaN611 member
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    edited December 2011
    Hahah!  Nope, she's not blonde.  Too bad!   My aunt would kill me if she found out I snuck her daughter into a bar with a fake id!  Haha.

    We'll figure it out.  We will either forget the whole BI idea and do a spa day/dinner here in CT or she will come out to BI for the day with a friend of hers (who I also know) or with my mom and her aunt.  I actually think it might be fun to have my aunt and mom join in on some of the girly fun!  They'd love it!
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    Sarah-JeanSarah-Jean
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    edited December 2011
    I love B.I., mostly because that's where FI proposed. :)
    I was a MOH in a friends wedding & had a similar situation. Her FI's little sister was 20. We knew that the bride wanted to go out to a club or something,  so we planned a nice lunch & trip to the spa for mani/pedi's before heading up the casino. His sister came along for the lunch & spa & then headed back home. It was a nice compromise (IMO). We all had a blast & the bride was happy that we found a way to include his FSIL.
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